Awkward

Baby fever

By Anonymous - 12/06/2023 18:00

Today, my wife wanted sex, but dropped the bomb that she wants another baby, because our other kids are grown up now. This ruined the sexy vibe we had going and now she’s mad at me for not wanting sex, and for not wanting another baby when we barely survived parenting the other three. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 338

You deserved it 195

Freaked

By Anonymous - 12/06/2023 15:00

Today, my dad joked he’d have to fight my boyfriend to find out if he’s worthy. My boyfriend grew up abused by his dad and older brothers, and has a powerful instinct to fight back. My dad is now out cold on the floor and my boyfriend is in the corner rocking back and forth and crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 289

You deserved it 177

Taking it well, it seems

By Gina - 12/06/2023 10:00

Today, it's been four days since I gave my husband the news that I’m pregnant, at which point he went out to “get groceries.” He still hasn’t come back. He won’t pick up my calls or texts. In fact, he blocked me on all social media and disabled his Find My iPhone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 272

You deserved it 187

Bad date

By GothicGhosty - 12/06/2023 00:02

Today I got stuck in a restaurant booth and needed my date to help pull me out. I'm only 23. Safe to say he won't be calling me back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 570

You deserved it 406

Ability check

By not that kind of party - 11/06/2023 15:00

Today, our Dungeons & Dragons group has imploded. A member kept making inappropriate passes at me, even though he knows I’m married. Now my husband has been threatening to “wring his skinny little neck like a chicken” if he ever sees him again, and now the other members are calling my man a bully. FML

I agree, your life sucks 843

You deserved it 170

Ambien nights

By Nosy ex - 10/06/2023 22:00

Today, even though I was curious about my ex's new fling, I didn't want to do anything that would put them in an uncomfortable situation. Apparently, that changed when I took an Ambien to get some rest, as I woke up to find out that I'd sleep-followed them. They've already followed me back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 504

You deserved it 406

Kinda sus

By Anonymous - 10/06/2023 18:00

Today, after I made a new Snapchat account 3 days ago, I've already been blocked like 100 times for little reasons. I get blocked more than any normal person, even when doing nothing wrong. I wish people liked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 252

You deserved it 758

This is going to hurt

By Anonymous - 10/06/2023 06:00

Today, a nice doctor in his 40s asked me on a date and, despite the age difference, I was thinking about it… until my mom recognised him. He was the trainee doctor who helped me be born 22 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 798

You deserved it 150

Sneaky

By Anonymous - 09/06/2023 15:00 - United States - Cedar Rapids

Today, after dating someone for a year and a half, upon meeting his mother for the first time he'd told me she has bad anxiety and that he’s going to introduce me as his friend, and the only reason I was meeting her was because she was selling her deceased husband's car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 707

You deserved it 111

Pick a lane

By Cece - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, while bowling on a first date, the guy I ended things with three days before was bowling too. In the lane next to ours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 340

You deserved it 772

Social bumbling

By A massive racist, apparently - 09/06/2023 05:00 - United States

Today, I found out it's apparently racist to point out that a person has a unique spelling for a common name. I then found out it's even more racist to yell at the person who tells you in a very condescending tone that "it's a common spelling," even though I've literally never seen it before in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 856

Get a load of this guy!

By IaMDeD - 08/06/2023 04:00 - United States

Today, it’s my girlfriend’s birthday. I took her out to her favorite restaurant to celebrate. The waitress serving us looked oddly familiar but I didn’t think anything of it until she said when we collected the check, “Aren’t you my sister’s husband?” I forgot she had a younger sister who worked here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90

You deserved it 2 805

Painful negotiation

By Anonymous - 07/06/2023 03:00

Today, in order to bump my grade up from total failure to the lowest possible passing grade, my training examiner eventually agreed to raise my score by one pity point for spelling my own name correctly on the exam paper, after I told him I had to pass the course or be fired from my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 244

You deserved it 1 015

Backhanded

By johnny - 05/06/2023 22:00 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, I asked my girlfriend what she thought of a certain plus-sized vocalist, to which she replied, "She's gorgeous!" I said, "That's great because you remind me a lot of her." Now she's not talking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 919

Public freakout

By Anonymous - 04/06/2023 12:00

Today, at Starbucks, I was sat next to a father and son where the son told his dad he wanted to meet in a public place for his own safety, because he had to tell him he’d gotten his half-sister pregnant. It might not sound like my FML but in the fist fight that followed they smashed my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 499

You deserved it 129

Flummoxed

By shellie - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Reserved

Today, I went to the gynecologist for the first time. I was so nervous that when she extended her hand to shake mine, I gave her my handbag instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 131

You deserved it 4 505

Tasty punishment

By Anonymous - 03/06/2023 06:00

Today, my aunts found grandpa's will, which left everything to me and nothing to them, and his lawyer confirmed on the phone this was definitely grandpa's wish. My entire family now hate me and think I manipulated him. My grandpa has hated me my entire life, so I think this is his way of punishing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 921

You deserved it 129

Request denied

By Lorne - 02/06/2023 15:00

Today, I told my wife I wanted a divorce. I haven’t been in love with her for a long time and I've fallen in love with a girl at my job. When I told her this, she responded with, “No, fuck that, we're going to couples' therapy and you are gonna be a father to our kids!” I guess that’s a “No.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 2 446

Jealous guy

By Are u Happy Now - 01/06/2023 22:00

Today, my boyfriend got me and a male colleague written up. He thinks I’m having a affair because I made a cake and bought a present for his birthday. He made up a story and told my boss that we’re fucking. My colleague ended up getting transferred to another unit. Hope you’re happy now, babe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 112

You deserved it 396

Bad boys bad boys, whatcha gonna do?

By yard sale 911 - 01/06/2023 09:00 - United States - Allentown

Today, our community is having a large collective yard sale. It's also the day my phone decided to somehow pocket-dial 911. I had to explain this to the officers responding and also to a lot of surprised shoppers and neighbors. I'm still extremely embarrassed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 699

You deserved it 157

Jumping the gun

By just lookin out - 31/05/2023 03:00

Today, I saw my sister’s husband kissing another woman in a restaurant. I lost it, flipped their table, and got the cops called on all of us. Turns out they’re poly and she’s their third. Or she was going to be. My sister is now mad at me for “scaring her off”. My bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 505

You deserved it 1 260

Neighbors from hell

By Anonymous - 29/05/2023 06:00 - United States - Collegeville

Today, and intermittently ever since I moved in, the guy who lives in the apartment next to me keeps having loud sex with his hookup of the week, while I’m trying to watch TV, eat dinner, etc. I can’t even complain about him to my landlord. Why? The noisy guy is my landlord. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 041

You deserved it 178

Waxing and waning

By Anonymous - 28/05/2023 22:00 - Germany - Buchholz in der Nordheide

Today, being tired of all the shrubbery growing “downstairs”, I decided to give my lady bits a good waxing. So, naturally, I now have a tiny tear in my right labia and I'm scratching my itchy buttcrack with an old toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 748

You deserved it 520

Can you be a little more specific?

By Anonymous - 28/05/2023 10:00

Today, I'm pretty sure I destroyed a friendship irreparably. I was trying to do a nice thing, but it backfired in an awful way. I know it's my fault. I really wanted to be that person's friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 548

You deserved it 331

Not what you think

By Anonymous - 28/05/2023 06:00

Today, I was running late to work so I started getting dressed and brushing my teeth. I got to work 5 minutes late, which is when noticed a toothpaste stain on my shirt. I thought it looked identical to a cum stain, and the worst part was I was wearing black, so it was noticeable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 659

You deserved it 255

Mega hair

By allergiesbegone - 27/05/2023 21:00 - United States - Elizabeth City

Today, I realized my "year-round allergies" might have been the result of a nearly 2-inch nostril hair I trimmed out last week. Years of constant sneezing and leaky nose with no medicine helping it, suddenly gone. I can't believe I've suffered half my life thinking I had super allergies, over one stray nose hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 790

You deserved it 182

In the heat of the moment

By Anonymous - 27/05/2023 00:02

Today, I was going at it with my boyfriend when he asked what nickname I wanted to be called. I told him to make something up. A few seconds later, he called me Buzz Lightyear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 701

You deserved it 502

Trance

By carly rose - 26/05/2023 15:00

Today, I was yelled at and beaten up for staring at a woman’s breasts. My medication causes me to stare off into space and I didn’t even realize I was staring at another person until it was too late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 052

You deserved it 192

Or so you thought…

By Anonymous - 25/05/2023 21:00 - United States - Kenton

Today, my mom called me by the wrong name. This isn't the first time. It wouldn't be so bad, except I'm her only kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 754

You deserved it 98

/r/nothingeverhappens/

By Fuck off! - 25/05/2023 11:00 - United States

Today, I told a story about a new mother naming her daughter after the first thing she saw moments after she was born. The group admins accused me of lying, with absolutely zero proof, and deleted the post. The story is 100% true. My mother and I witnessed it with our own two eyes and ears. Fuck these people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 658

You deserved it 212

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Love Coworkers Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I realised that the steamy photos that I took with my ex a few months ago had not been erased from his father's camera. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 969

You deserved it 19 274

Today, I went to the hospital for crippling back pain that made it impossible to walk. The doctor was more interested in telling me off for not taking a pill that he admitted doesn't help acute pain. He then gave me an injection that wore off in an hour, and sent me home, telling me to take over the counter meds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 800

You deserved it 104

Today, after almost a year of dating and getting dumped out of the blue, I found out my ex-girlfriend wants to get a restraining order against me. I guess dropping a box of her things on her porch after she wouldn't answer her phone is considered stalking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 669

You deserved it 178

Today, I was hit on by a guy while I was walking my dog. He said some crude stuff about my chest. I called my husband to pick me up, and after he'd got me my husband blamed me for it, saying I should dress more conservatively. I was wearing a tank top with a zip up hoodie (unzipped) over it, jeans, and flip flops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 299

You deserved it 186

Today, after I sold the bulk of my employer-granted stocks last week, assuming its the highest price the stock would reach in a while, it's now nearly 30% higher to the price I sold at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 730

You deserved it 418

Today, I saw one of my favorite hockey players in public. I had met him once before, and to my shock, he remembered me. I was pretty excited until he started talking to his friend in French. He didn't seem to realize that I'm fluent in the language. He basically called me "ugly psycho bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 725

You deserved it 6 837