Awkward

Main character syndrome

By Anonymous - 17/07/2023 10:00

Today, my dad is in the hospital for heart failure. Almost every single one of my aunts, uncles, and cousins have managed to find a way to make it about themselves for attention. FML

I agree, your life sucks 861

You deserved it 102

The hell that is dating

By Laura - 15/07/2023 15:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I went on a first date with a guy. He told me his wife had filed for divorce this morning (I had no idea he had ever been married) and then he sent me the e-receipt for my nachos along with his Venmo handle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 866

You deserved it 148

Cry for help

By Why me tho - 14/07/2023 07:00 - United States

Today, my coworker overheard our boss saying that she wanted to punch him in the face. After he tore into her about it and announced his immediate departure, they both started ranting to me, trying to make me take sides on the issue. I don't want to get fired, but I also don't want to make him mad. Help me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 679

You deserved it 115

Tantrum

By brokedad - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was questioned by police for forcing a 12-year-old to get in my car. That 12-year-old is my daughter, who refused to get in until I agree to buy her a highly expensive purse just to become popular. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 307

You deserved it 7 588

Sibling rivalry

By Anonymous - 14/07/2023 00:02 - Switzerland - Zollikerberg

Today, I finally had an opportunity to flirt with the guy I have a crush on. We danced together all night and everything was going well… too well apparently, because out of nowhere, he kissed my sister, who knew about my crush on him but still kissed him back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 790

You deserved it 151

Worst teeth in the game

By stinky breath - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Whittier

Today, I taught my 23-year-old boyfriend how to correctly brush his teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 144

You deserved it 6 733

Life imitates Anime

By Anonymous - 13/07/2023 16:00

Today, I have quite a niche career forging swords, knives, and other weapons for museums. Well today my wife wanted to watch the anime Demon Slayer, we got to the scenes with the insane masked swordsmith, and she burst out laughing like, “Oh my god, you’re twins, grumpy twins!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 598

You deserved it 236

Ass man

By blaaargh - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Seymour

Today, my dad uttered the words, "You gotta admit, your mother's got one hell of an ass." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 582

You deserved it 2 328

Founding father

By YouAssholes - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Anaheim

Today, my band members and I were brainstorming ideas to help increase our fanbase. My drummer suggested they replace me for someone attractive. Everyone agreed and now they're trying to kick me out of the band I started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 335

You deserved it 3 890

Classic blunder

By Jake404 - 10/07/2023 00:02 - Australia

Today, I went on a blind date that my friend set up at a coffee shop. I arrived early, feeling nervous but excited. As I sat waiting, I noticed a person waving at me from across the room. I smiled and waved back, only to realize that they were actually waving at someone behind me. My date never showed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 893

You deserved it 125

Caught in 4K

By Anonymous - 09/07/2023 22:00

Today, my dad went on a rant about how police are scum, timewasters, corrupt arseholes, and a waste of taxpayer money. I’m a police officer, and I’d had to pull him over because he was swerving all over the road while getting road head from a woman who was not my mother, to whom he is still married to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 575

You deserved it 177

I'm the taxman, yeaaaaaah

By Anonymous - 09/07/2023 15:00

Today, according to my tax bill, I’ve been employed by a company I interviewed for over a year ago. They apparently hired me but forgot to tell me, then they also forgot to fire me for not turning up, so I’m somehow their unpaid employee and yet owe taxes for wages I’ve never been paid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 001

You deserved it 104

No third chance

By Anonymous - 09/07/2023 04:00 - Canada - Montreal

Today, I’m going to a audition and my partner is scared that I’ll never come back, and is not supportive of me. Seriously, why did he come back just so he could be so depressed and then not support me at all? FML

I agree, your life sucks 585

You deserved it 237

Life imitates life

By Anonymous - 08/07/2023 22:00

Today, I went to a job interview and had a brilliant answer prepared for a common job interview question, but as soon as the interviewer asked what my main qualities were, my mind went blank and I blurted out, "I like turtles." FML

I agree, your life sucks 603

You deserved it 292

Surveillance

By Anonymous - 08/07/2023 18:00

Today, I showed my boss the app where I can remotely monitor my new home security cameras. As we panned the camera around, we were greeted by my son smoking a bong - sound and all. Way to go, boy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 744

You deserved it 307

Crisis

By Anonymous - 07/07/2023 18:02 - Canada - St. Catharines

Today, I called the crisis helpline, and because my connection was cutting in and out for a moment, they hung up on me. When I called back, it was shift change, so they hung up again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 859

You deserved it 147

Reflex

By Lance - 08/07/2023 06:00 - Australia

Today, I realised that I have been a teacher for far too long when I told a random stranger I saw at the mall to tie up their shoelaces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 620

You deserved it 236

Hairstyle lifehack

By Anonymous - 07/07/2023 12:00 - United States - Albany

Today, I tried dyeing my hair at home to save some money. I carefully followed the instructions but when I rinsed it off, my hair turned a shocking shade of shiity neon green. Not wanting to leave the house looking like a radioactive toad, I wore a hat and hoped nobody would notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 641

You deserved it 386

Snitching

By Big_Tex23 - 06/07/2023 06:00

Today, I found out, and only after my stepdaughter told me, that my wife spent the whole weekend with another guy at the beach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 919

You deserved it 96

Ace Of Spades

By MetalisLife - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I thought I died in the shower. I was very intensely playing air guitar while simultaneously headbanging. I punched myself in the dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 724

You deserved it 6 603

Good question

By cynicalcindy - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I visited my brother in jail for the first time. I didn't know what to say so I blurted out, "Are you having fun?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 179

You deserved it 50 371

Happy Frustrating 4th of July!

By Anonymous - 05/07/2023 07:00

Today, my wife won't let me light one my fireworks off early. I'm a grown man, darn it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 237

You deserved it 1 032

Seize the day

By Anonymous - 04/07/2023 15:00

Today, a guy that I've been friends with for almost 20 years, and for whom I have never shown even the slightest bit of romantic interest in, confessed his love for me. In front of everyone we know, at mine and my fiancé's engagement party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 174

You deserved it 162

Distance makes the heart…

By Anonymous - 03/07/2023 18:02 - United States - Fort Drum

Today, I'm over a 1000 miles away from my wife, and she's so upset and angry with me that she doesn't want me to touch her anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 737

You deserved it 225

Alexa, play "Ghost Rider" by Suicide

By Soon to be felon - 03/07/2023 22:00

Today, my sister got a speeding ticket in the mail. A month ago, I got pulled over and used her name, intending to take care of it but forgot. She's going to the police station to review the footage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 1 723

Fingered

By Anonymous - 03/07/2023 19:00 - Finland - Tampere

Today, I went to see a doctor because of some blood in my stool. Not only is the matter embarrassing enough as is, it turned out the doctor was a young, crisply dressed, extremely handsome man. I then had his finger in my ass for a check-up, all the while him being very nice about it. I'm still mortified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 938

You deserved it 226

WTF Grandma?

By Anonymous - 02/07/2023 10:00

Today, I spoke to my grandma on the phone. Two hours later, my cousin sends me a screenshot of my grandma inviting her and my sister out to lunch tomorrow. This is the fourth lunch in a row I have NOT been invited too. I don't know why she keeps doing this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 722

You deserved it 134

The great pretender

By theraarman - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has to pretend to have another boyfriend who isn't me, because her siblings and cousins don't like me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 129

You deserved it 3 229

Just say you're imitating Ron Mael

By Anonymous - 01/07/2023 22:00

Today, I realized I look better with a Hitler moustache than any other facial hairstyle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 523

You deserved it 197

This is going to be fun

By Tony - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my fiancée informed me she'd invited her ex-husband to our wedding at her parents' request. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 565

You deserved it 2 246

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Love Coworkers Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I found out that the coworker I refused to leave my wife for is now happily married with someone else, while I'm now divorced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 470

You deserved it 31 591

Today, my boyfriend accused me of ruining his life by getting pregnant. Apparently, the "love of his life" has now left him, and it's all my fault. I thought we were monogamous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 748

You deserved it 399

Today, I was going to the cinema when a motorcyclist was hit at an intersection. I wanted to find out how he was, but I couldn't get through the crowd with their phones out. Fuck, people, what's wrong with you? You're going to die like this, and they're just going to film you. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 112

Today, my 6 year old daughter asked me if the tooth fairy was real. I said yes, and she said she wanted to try to catch her. Later, she pulled out a tooth and put it under her pillow. I came in to take out the tooth and replace it with money. There were mouse traps behind her pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 128

You deserved it 9 450

Today, I was offered a job. It only took me a year and 17 interviews to get an offer, and I have a PhD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 462

You deserved it 3 532

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night choking and had to open my bedroom window. No, it wasn’t a gas leak. My husband had a curry last night and his constant farting was so bad I was struggling to breathe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 821

You deserved it 443