Accident

Protect the child at all cost

By Anonymous - 26/12/2022 03:00

Today, carrying my 10-month old niece down the stairs, I missed a step. Protecting her on the way down, I badly sprained my right foot and snapped the ligament in my left. I now can’t walk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 185

You deserved it 186

Never buy new cars

By Anonymous - 23/12/2022 09:00 - United States - Barberton

Today, I took a sharp turn and hit a pillar and damaged my car's back door. I don't know how much it will cost and if I'll be able to afford it. Should I also mention that the car is 3 months old? FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 935

It's all downhill from here…

By Tree Hugger - 23/12/2022 00:00 - United States

Today, I went skiing with a friend of mine. He went first. I heard a loud *THUD* and went to investigate. When I went past him, he yelled, "I ran into a tree. I don't feel so good!" He said it in such a defeated and humorous way, that I crashed into a tree myself because I couldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 423

You deserved it 924

Slam dunk

By YEET - 21/12/2022 12:00

Today, I was trying to find my phone. My friend found it, and instead of handing it to me like a normal person, he threw it at me. I'm terrible at catching stuff. It bounced off my arm and landed in his cup of Sprite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 931

You deserved it 142

Live through this

By IceBreaker - 17/12/2022 18:00

Today, while on my way to a meeting and the following job interview I had lined up, I slipped on ice crossing the road, landing on my dominant arm. The pain was awful but I persisted and attended both. Later, it turned out I'd shattered my elbow and fractured my radius. I really hope I get that job now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 076

You deserved it 113

Rain check

By Anonymous - 15/12/2022 03:00 - United States

Today, I was supposed to leave for Switzerland for a month, to see my boyfriend whom I haven't seen for over 6 months. Unfortunately, I broke my leg three days ago and I now I need to stay home and get surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 057

You deserved it 133

Health hazard

By Cupboard? More like headboard - 11/12/2022 21:00 - United States

Today, my mom always forgets to close the cupboards in the kitchen. She's not tall enough to hit her head on them, but I am. I have done so at least a dozen times in the past week. I swear, I'm gonna knock myself out on those cupboards one of these days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 901

You deserved it 225

Backflip

By Cramped - 04/12/2022 22:00 - United States

Today, my parents made several changes to my office space without my knowledge. Among these changes, they put a suitcase under the desk. I don't know how they fit it down there, but I do know I have no room to move my legs. I also know that if I put my feet ON the suitcase, I fall backwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 739

You deserved it 148

Sorry Dad

By Fail - 04/12/2022 04:00

Today, my dad's car door was frozen shut. As he was in a hurry, he asked me to force it open. When I did so, the door slammed into his back. hard. Now he can barely walk, even with a walker, but he needs to walk in order for it to improve, or else he may become wheelchair-bound for the rest of his life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 895

You deserved it 151

Ballshot

By Anonymous - 02/12/2022 14:00

Today, I shot my boyfriend in the balls by mistake, twice. First it was a paintball gun I was using with my nephew, then it was a slingshot I use to scare away the bird who keeps eating fish from my pond. He is now sat icing his groin acting like I did it on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 310

You deserved it 1 013

Sorry honey

By Anonymous - 30/11/2022 00:00

Today, my boyfriend and I get along very well, but I’m not used to being extremely close to somebody. Every time we are together, I always somehow manage to elbow him in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 653

You deserved it 223

Sorry dear

By Empi - 29/11/2022 10:00

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night with a numb arm. When I tried to reposition it, it flew crazily and slapped my girlfriend in the face. My girlfriend, who was in a string of abusive relationships, and has severe PTSD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 036

You deserved it 175

Poor little guy

By Almost neutered - 28/11/2022 00:00

Today, my cat wouldn't stop attacking the strings on my pants, and I couldn't get him to stop. However, he did finally stop when he missed the strings and grabbed me by the dick, because I accidentally kicked him across the room when he did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 777

You deserved it 266

Toot toot!

By Anonymous - 23/11/2022 18:00

Today, I slipped and fell on the ice while attending a community event for work. A man came to help me up, and I farted really loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 905

You deserved it 140

Wham bam thank you m'am

By ohhmydamn - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out if you slide down the stairs on a foam mattress topper, it just folds under instead of sliding. Then you slide the rest of the way down on your knees and break your nose at the bottom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 880

You deserved it 71 616

The blame game

By Shattered - 23/11/2022 02:00

Today, my brother got mad at me for breaking the screen on his phone. He'd already dropped it so many times that the whole screen was cracked to the point that you couldn't see anything on it, but for some reason, I am fully responsible for its destruction because I accidentally delivered the finishing blow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 710

You deserved it 199

Baby don't drive my car

By Anonymous - 19/11/2022 18:00

Today, I drove through a drive-through car wash. The steering wheel turned left on it own. I was pretty sure the railing guided the car but my stupid ass turned the wheel to the other side and popped the car off the rails. It crashed into one of the machines and now I have a huge dent to the front of the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 249

You deserved it 1 118

Steady as she goes

By Slippin' - 18/11/2022 00:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I tried to walk on the sidewalk. Actually, it was so slippery that I had to shimmy across it. Then I shimmied too quickly and fell down. Now everything hurts. Maybe next time I should bring a sled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 645

You deserved it 148

Kinda effed up

By Anonymous - 13/11/2022 14:00

Today, and ever since a car accident, I’ve not been able to go to the gym anymore for more than a few minutes without crippling pain. I have a belly for the first time in my life, I can barely breathe without wheezing, and I’m even too unfit for sex anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 183

You deserved it 198

It's all too much

By dreams2383 - 11/11/2022 18:00 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, at 4:30 a.m., I hit a deer on the freeway on my way to work. I've only had this car for 6 months and it's totaled. I had to wait hours for a tow. On his way to pick me up, my husband's radiator blew and his serpentine belt shredded. I also missed a day of work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 102

You deserved it 108

Cool moves

By UUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHH - 09/11/2022 22:00

Today, I tried to open my water bottle, which is like trying to open a pickle jar, and after several seconds, it exploded all over my desk and clothes. Then, when I was going to get paper towels and a change of clothes, I slipped on the puddle and hit my head on my desk as I came crashing down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 790

You deserved it 196

Sorry, I guess…

By NotHelpingAgain - 29/10/2022 00:00 - United States

Today, I was fixing something in the back of my truck when a shopping cart sped past me towards traffic. I jumped down to catch it, but it was too late. Luckily, it didn't hit anyone, but a woman and her husband stopped to tell me what an asshole I was. Sorry for trying to save your car from someone else's cart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 857

You deserved it 106

Fridge fight

By kb. - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out how it feels when a refrigerator door unhinges and falls on your toes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 760

You deserved it 2 518

Things hate me

By WaychulMonster - 25/10/2022 10:00

Today, while trying to relax because I'm sick and I feel like crap, the shower head attachment fell and hit me on the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 873

You deserved it 112

I need a wipe!

By Not funnu - 23/10/2022 04:00 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, I crashed my motorbike and broke both my arms. I now have to rely on my mom and aunt taking turns to do everything for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 901

You deserved it 268

GET OUTTA MY WAY

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got hit by a car while riding my bike. Instead of coming to my aid, the driver just laid on his horn and screamed out the window for me to move my ass, because he had places to be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 112

You deserved it 5 445

Butter fingers

By Anonymous - 16/10/2022 14:00

Today, I finally got my new car delivered to my home. After clicking some pics, I was walking around it, just admiring it, and tripped. Both sets of keys fell down the storm water drain. It rained heavily last night and this morning, so the water inside is still flowing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 053

You deserved it 396

Road rage

By badidea - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, someone nearly hit me with their car, so I flipped them the finger. They turned back around and tried to run me over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 275

You deserved it 10 264

Mad bastards

By oof - 14/10/2022 04:00 - United States - Steele

Today, my cats decided to start sprinting back and forth across the house while I was holding a cup of coffee. They both ran into each of my legs in unison, sending me crashing down on top of them. I also hit my head on the corner of a shelf and spilled coffee all over my neck, in addition to breaking the cup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 911

You deserved it 200

Bad day for glasses

By Anonymous - 09/10/2022 10:00

Today, I walked into the glass door of my boss’s cabin and broke my spectacles. Thank god for a backup pair, right? Wrong. I fell down the stairs and broke them too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 013

You deserved it 212

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Random

Today, I set up a motion-activated sprinkler to drench the neighborhood kids who have been ding dong ditching me for years. Because they couldn't get close enough to ring the doorbell, they decided to start egging me instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 361

You deserved it 6 968

Today, after telling my mother-in-law about my recent miscarriage, she cheerfully made a cake to celebrate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 695

You deserved it 3 691

Today, I received a fine for leaving my car at the airport. Each day it's been there, they added an additional $50. My car was stolen two weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 918

You deserved it 2 478

Today, I realized that sometimes I forget to turn off my desk light when I leave the room for dinner. I also learned that said desk light can get hot enough to melt plastic, which is why my brand-new laptop screen was literally oozing onto the table top when I got back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 752

You deserved it 12 865

Today, my old ass garage door got bent while I was trying to close it. I broke nearly all of my fingernails trying to force it back into place. Time to get a new garage door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 487

You deserved it 126

Today, my foster son’s adoption is once again being delayed thanks to his crackhead birth mom. Every time she gets a notice that we’re moving forward, she has some rando come forward pretending to be the bio dad, then we have to go through months of court and DNA tests. She’s done this 12 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 472

You deserved it 42