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Not a people person

By Anna - 07/03/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I tried to sneak out of a family gathering without anyone noticing. As I tiptoed toward the door, I stepped on my aunt's prized chihuahua's squeaky toy. The entire house went silent as it squeaked at quite the volume, and everyone turned to stare at me. My "escape" turned into the most dramatic exit of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 282

You deserved it 240

Confused, lost

By Anonymous - 26/01/2025 03:00 - Switzerland - Neuchatel

Today, I missed my train. I was actually on the right platform but realized my mistake two minutes after it had left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 282

You deserved it 237

Wake me up before you go go

By Sam - 13/02/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I took a nap while I was on my lunch break. When I woke up, I realized my coworker had put a Post-it note on my face that said, "Wake me up before I start drooling." I'd definitely drooled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 282

You deserved it 268

Who's in charge?

By Anonymous - 30/04/2025 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, a couple of days after my boyfriend came on a night out with my friends but made us leave early as he had an early work shift, he's now spent the last two nights out with his friends, late, and all my friends are busy and a bit peeved at us taking off early the other night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 281

You deserved it 245

What is going on?

By Anonymous - 18/11/2025 20:00

Today, I was in a quiet meeting on Teams using noise-cancelling AirPods when my coworkers started giggling. I assumed someone’s mic was acting up. Turns out, my mic was on, and the mysterious squeaking noise was my chair… or so I thought. Nope. My dog was also behind me licking a balloon for some reason. FML

I agree, your life sucks 281

You deserved it 90

Unusual home dynamic

By Anonymous - 24/11/2025 15:00

Today, I realized that my husband can call me a hoarder because I hide stuff for my son's lunch so it's his to eat. Not only is that what mothers do for their loved kids, he has been hoarding and hiding $100+ PlayStation store credits. Hoarding his own boy's prize for doing well, and now blames me if our son is slow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 281

You deserved it 96

Politeness gone wrong

By Roadrage2025 - 26/12/2025 15:00

Today, I let someone merge in traffic. They waved, merged, then immediately braked to make a turn, causing me to slam on the brakes and spill coffee all over myself. They waved again, like that fixed everything. I arrived at work sticky, caffeinated, and angry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 281

You deserved it 139

Yay, Christmas! It's the most wonderful time of the year!

By Anonymous - 28/12/2025 09:00

Today, I loved my girlfriend so much until she broke up with me right before Christmas, I was sad but, I understood. I would always vent to my bestie of 5 years and she said I was being too dramatic, and I wasn't even supposed to feel sad about it. I've spent Christmas being depressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 281

You deserved it 96

Relaxed

By Anonymous - 16/12/2025 12:00

Today, I tried meditating at the park to “be more mindful.” Right as I closed my eyes, a squirrel jumped onto my leg, causing me to scream loud enough to scare a nearby jogger, who then tripped over his own feet. I apologized while shaking uncontrollably. FML

I agree, your life sucks 281

You deserved it 148

Free thinker

By Anonymous - 29/10/2025 22:00

Today, I was babysitting my nephew and told him he could “say anything” to the nice old lady at the park who gave him candy. He looked her dead in the eye and said, “My aunt says people your age shouldn’t drive anymore.” She glared at me like I'd ran over her cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 280

You deserved it 211

Body horror

By Pierced - 17/07/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, my husband came home with his dick pierced. I shrieked in horror and told him to get it away from me. He's now sulking that I won't indulge his weird impulse and am refusing sex until he removes the piercing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 280

You deserved it 276

Casual

By Patrick - 11/04/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I went to meet a friend for coffee. When I arrived, I mistakenly thought it was a casual meet-up, but apparently, it was a date. I didn’t realize this until she leaned in for a kiss at the end, and I awkwardly offered her a fist bump instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 278

You deserved it 101

What do you have to hide?

By srry4spamtennaprn - 13/09/2025 12:00

Today, I visited my mom and siblings. While I went to the bathroom, my younger brother somehow unlocked my iPhone, opened my Twitter app, and sent my parents links to every post in my Bookmarks. Every single one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 278

You deserved it 120

Unacceptable

By Anonymous - 01/07/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I found sex tapes on my husband's computer of me and him. Not only have I never done a sex tape, we were doing stuff I’ve never done before. Turns out he got an AI to make them, since I don’t do that stuff for him, he thought the acceptable alternative was to make fakes to wank over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 278

You deserved it 485

The plot thickens

By Anonymous - 20/06/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I did laundry and found one lone sock in the washer. Thinking I was done, I left it there and put the rest in the dryer. When I pulled out the clothes, the sock was missing. It was in the dryer all along, but I couldn’t find its partner anywhere. A sock black hole struck again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 278

You deserved it 106

Enough!

By Anonymous - 08/09/2025 11:00 - United States

Today, I was trying to put my kids to bed but my husband kept riling them up with yelling, wrestling, etc. By the time we actually got them to bed I was exhausted. His ass had the nerve to throw a fit because I was too tired for sex. Why does he think I was trying to get them to sleep?! FML

I agree, your life sucks 278

You deserved it 99

Costco madness

By Anonymous - 27/02/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, my kid kept trying to play in the aisles at Costco and wouldn't listen when I told him to stop. He was spinning in circles when a guy with a cart full of sodas ran into him, rolling over his leg. The first thing my wife said? "Why didn't you tell him to stop?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 277

You deserved it 362

Fishy

By Anonymous - 19/10/2025 20:00

Today, my boyfriend mentioned that he wants to get a vasectomy. I didn't give it much thought, until two things occurred to me. 1.) I have PCOS, and was told by multiple doctors that I can't have children. 2.) He almost never wants to have sex anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 277

You deserved it 79

Never? Never ever?

By Blue balls forever - 08/12/2025 20:00

Today, I tried to talk to my wife about our lack of sex lately. Apparently, her therapist told her that her high libido and eagerness to experiment came from her early childhood issues, so now she's working through her trauma and will never want sex again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 277

You deserved it 88

Oh, the humanity

By Anonymous - 11/11/2025 09:00

Today, I think there might be something wrong with my family's cell phone carrier or cell phones. They use Verizon, I use T-Mobile. They use iPhones, I use a Google Pixel 8a. On at least two separate occasions, my dad hasn't been able to get my text messages. I can't afford to switch carriers or get a new phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 276

You deserved it 95

Cause for concern?

By Anonymous - 14/07/2025 23:00 - United Kingdom - Stourbridge

Today, I looked at the supplements my boyfriend puts in the protein shakes we both drink. To my horror, most of them listed "boosts libido" or "increased fertility" as benefits. When I confronted him, he said ,"So? I drink them too, it's not like I'm drugging you or something." FML

I agree, your life sucks 276

You deserved it 341

What is he hiding?

By Wtf - 04/10/2025 20:00

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he had any secret sexual fantasies and promised that I wouldn't judge him, hoping to scratch my kinky itch. He looked at me wide-eyed, yelled, "IT'S A TRAP!!" and literally sprinted out of the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 276

You deserved it 196

Vacation breaker

By Mommys boy - 23/07/2025 00:00 - United States - Galveston

Today, I joined an impromptu work video meeting from a family vacation but forgot to change my display name from “Mom’s iPad.” For the entire hour, everyone called me “Mom” and I didn’t understand why they were calling me that. Once I realized what was going on, it was too late, so I’m officially “Mom” at work now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 276

You deserved it 297

Those were some hefty dogs

By NeedsANewPhone - 23/09/2025 03:00

Today, after getting my phone fixed last week because my daughter dropped it and it landed on a corner, I dropped it again at the dog park and several big dogs fighting with my dog stepped on it. One of them cracked the screen again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 276

You deserved it 154

Prodigy

By Anonymous - 30/11/2025 12:00

Today, I have in my living room a Rubik’s cube I’ve been trying to solve for over a year. I just got home and it was sat on the floor solved. Apparently my wife gave it to her nephew to play with and he solved it in about four minutes, then got bored. He’s 8 and I’m 33. FML

I agree, your life sucks 276

You deserved it 189

In these times…

By Anonymous - 22/10/2025 22:00

Today, I found myself trying to use AI to edit the only photo I have of the man who was the love of my life. I'd like to look into his eyes again and remember that feeling again… FML

I agree, your life sucks 275

You deserved it 186

Don't threaten me with a good time

By Anonymous - 14/07/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I received a package in the mail from a guy, with no warning. He then blocked me. It was a strap on. What do I even do with this thing now? FML

I agree, your life sucks 275

You deserved it 135

Bad boy

By naughty boy - 09/10/2025 20:00

Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my dog, hoping they’d get along. I told my boyfriend, “Don’t worry, he never jumps on anyone.” Immediately, my dog jumped, not onto my boyfriend but right into my lap, knocking my glass of red wine all over my trousers. My boyfriend patted the dog and said, “At least someone’s happy to see you.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 274

You deserved it 109

Better happy and fat

By Anonymous - 05/12/2025 03:00

Today, I've zero motivation to even live life. I've stopped doing even the little things I like. My husband tries hard to cheer me up and keep things going, but I just want to curl into a ball and die. I'm too scared to take depression medication as it makes me fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 274

You deserved it 354

Share, not scare

By Anonymous - 18/03/2025 15:00 - United Kingdom - Bath

Today, during a family dinner, my uncle asked if anyone had any embarrassing stories. Feeling brave, I told them about my recent breakup. As I was getting to the juicy details, my 11-year-old cousin piped up, saying, “You’re talking about the time you ate pizza naked, right?” My face was instantly beet red. FML

I agree, your life sucks 274

You deserved it 209

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The Top

Today, I saw my grandma had registered on Facebook, so I wrote a welcome post on her wall. She replied "Delete." several times, then called me, accusing me of "hacking" her and demanding that I remove my name from her page at once. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 704

You deserved it 2 917

Today, I called complaints for my internet provider because, again, it's slowed to a crawl that would make dial-up laugh. They said that I live in a remote area, so maintenance is difficult. When I pointed out I only live ten minutes from the nearest city, they responded by saying they're my only option, so tough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 909

You deserved it 110

Today, I was at a public pool. A very fat kid yelled, "Cannon Ball!" He jumped right on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 847

You deserved it 4 527

Today, I was walking down the street when I heard a loud splashing noise to my right. I looked over only to see a woman not squatting but bending over, spreading her cheeks, peeing a horse-sized amount of pee. I can't un-see this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 436

You deserved it 3 358

Today, I explained to my five year-old son that the dinosaurs were wiped out because of a meteorite that hit our planet. He replied, "They should've stood out of the way." FML

I agree, your life sucks 687

You deserved it 107

Today, my dad created a new rule: It isn't old until there's mold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 521

You deserved it 2 702