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Intrusive

By Anonymous - 23/01/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, no matter who I try to date, all I can do is think about them having sex with another man. Watching them being taken by someone else over and over again. I don’t know when this started or why it continues, but the thoughts continue to plague my mind regardless of how much I try to suppress it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 264

You deserved it 364

Plug me in

By Plugged - 04/03/2025 08:00 - United States

Today, I found out that when you put Kleenex up your nose to stop it from constantly draining snot, it is possible for it to rip and get stuck in your nose when you try to take it out. Words cannot describe how incredibly uncomfortable that was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 264

You deserved it 288

So… about that…

By Anonymous - 17/09/2025 03:00

Today, the moment I had been fearing for the past few days arrived: my mom asked me if I knew what a groyper was. I don't know what's worse, that I know what they are, or that trying explain the concept is so convoluted, she now thinks I'm making shit up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 263

You deserved it 100

Help!

By This is gonna suck - 02/02/2025 05:00 - United States

Today, my workplace is having a karaoke night. Most of our regulars are horrible singers, so this doesn't bode well for me, a person with rather sensitive ears. I'd like to bring my headphones along, but they broke yesterday. Please send help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 263

You deserved it 318

I'm a mess

By I'm awkward - 28/12/2025 20:00

Today, I tripped going up the stairs at work, caught myself, and laughed it off. Then I tripped again on the very next step. The same bunch of coworkers watched both times. No one laughed the second time. Neither did I. FML

I agree, your life sucks 263

You deserved it 125

The hero we need

By Anonymous - 04/07/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I saw someone get out of a car without putting it in park. I sprinted over and jumped in, trying to stop the car before it went down an incline. I didn't make it. I now have a dozen broken bones, need surgery, and was just informed I'm being held responsible for the wreck, since I was in it last. FML

I agree, your life sucks 262

You deserved it 459

Butterfingers

By Anonymous - 22/11/2025 12:00

Today, I sneezed so bad in public that I dropped my coffee, kicked it while trying to catch it, and watched it slide dramatically across the floor into someone’s shoe. They gasped like I'd committed a crime. I just whispered, “Sorry” and fled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 262

You deserved it 153

Nope, no thanks

By Alone - 26/08/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, three members of my five-person polycule moved away, leaving myself and one other girl. I really liked her, so I was okay… until she split because she "didn't want to be in a boring straight relationship." FML

I agree, your life sucks 262

You deserved it 386

Oddly specific turn off

By FatCoco - 07/07/2025 21:00 - United States

Today, my Tinder date ordered a separate check and said there won’t be a second date, all because I ordered my meal without vegetables. FML

I agree, your life sucks 261

You deserved it 432

Change of plans

By Somebody fucking kill me! - 12/08/2025 05:00 - Mexico

Today, as I was going to hook up with a sex friend, I discovered that my pack of condoms was missing. Then I saw my sister chewing out her two 10-year-old twins, who'd found them in my drawer. This how my family, who had visited me for family dinner, found out about my sexual life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 260

You deserved it 113

Cute miscommunication

By 9 to 5 - 30/12/2025 22:00

Today, I texted my boss to say I’d be late because my train was delayed. Autocorrect changed “delayed” to “derailed.” My boss called immediately, panicked, asking if I was OK. I had to explain it was just a typo while standing safely on the platform. FML

I agree, your life sucks 259

You deserved it 87

It's always the last place you'd expect

By Anonymous - 28/11/2025 12:00

Today, I was looking for a tiny little container I use to keep my medication dosages when I travel. I checked just about every place I could think of, so where did I finally find it? Behind the wide open closet door. It had fallen out of my travel bag, which I'd used last week, and rolled behind the tiny nook it made. FML

I agree, your life sucks 259

You deserved it 88

Self-confidence at an all-time low

By Cyanopica cyana, the One Jealous Urocissa Erythrorhyncha - 11/06/2025 04:00 - China - Zhangzhou

Today, I quit a group chat full of very talented people drawing, programming, creating game mods, and translating comics. I was invited because of my drawings, but I couldn't talk to them, nor could I show my talents because of the many talented people in there. I quit due to feeling inferior. I HATE my inferiority complex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 258

You deserved it 351

Better deal

By Anonymous - 11/05/2025 19:00 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, my crush would rather travel to another country to meet with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 258

You deserved it 326

Who am I?

By Carrie - 27/12/2025 22:00

Today, I went to a grocery store after work, exhausted. I nodded politely at a woman who smiled at me repeatedly. I realized at checkout she thought I was someone she knew. I nodded through a full conversation without knowing who I was pretending to be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 258

You deserved it 97

Great first impression

By Chilled - 17/12/2025 22:00

Today, I met my partner’s parents wearing my favorite hoodie to look casual-cool. As I stood to shake hands, the hem caught on a chair and ripped in a loud, dramatic seam that sounded like a trumpet. Silence, then his Mom said, “She's a character!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 258

You deserved it 118

Kids say the darndest things

By Chrissy - 14/09/2025 15:00 - Canada

Today, I was babysitting my niece. While we were at the grocery store, she pointed at me and loudly announced, “She says she’s on a diet, but she eats cookies in bed!” She wasn’t wrong. The cashier raised an eyebrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 257

You deserved it 165

It's the thought that counts

By cakelady - 16/11/2025 12:00

Today, I spent two hours baking a chocolate cake for my coworker Cathy's birthday. I took it into the office, everyone gathered, and we sang. Her birthday is actually next week. The person whose birthday was today is named Kevin, and he’s allergic to chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 257

You deserved it 221

Fitness goals

By Anonymous - 07/09/2025 16:00 - United States - Warren

Today, under advice from my doctor that I should increase the intensity of my exercises in order to lose weight, I decided to increase the resistance level of the exercise bike I typically use by one, as I could do the previous level easily. My legs got sore after 5 minutes and then I got very sick, so I had to go back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 257

You deserved it 114

Save the Roland Jupiter-8, save the world

By Sara - 12/12/2025 09:00

Today, I was setting up my keyboard when the stand came loose. The keyboard started to fall, so I tried to save it, held it up in the air, and ended up falling off the stool onto the floor. I’ll feel that tomorrow, but at least the keyboard survived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 257

You deserved it 82

Nothing to see here, move along

By Anonymous - 22/12/2025 22:00

Today, I rushed to work after spilling coffee on my shirt and thought I’d dried it enough. Under the office lights, it looked like a giant brown stain. Three people asked if I was OK. I spent the whole day hunched over my desk pretending nothing was wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 257

You deserved it 97

To be fair and balanced…

By Anonymous - 01/01/2026 00:00

Today, I found out my husband is still friends with someone who talks a lot of crap about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 257

You deserved it 61

Switch 2: Electric Boogaloo

By Anonymous - 08/06/2025 21:00

Today, I found my boyfriend playing games when we have 5 million things to do, but the bastard picked me up, put me in the hall, shut the door in my face, and barricaded it with the sofa. I texted him, threatening to break up unless he opened the door; he texted back to leave my key behind when I left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 256

You deserved it 672

Final destination

By Anonymous - 21/09/2025 22:00

Today, I was giving a friend a ride to a party and I followed Google Maps blindly. After 25 minutes of driving, we pulled into a cemetery. The GPS cheerfully announced, “You’ve arrived at your destination.” I suppose it is in a way, but we didn't plan on being early to THAT party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 256

You deserved it 113

All shook up

By Anonymous - 08/12/2025 09:00

Today, my friend's brother is severely gorgeous. He is also off-limits because she isn't very fond of him. I also don't want her to think I'm using her to get with him because she's a newer friend and I didn't know she had a brother until I saw him, and I'd rather be her friend than his girlfriend… BUT HE'S BEAUTIFUL. FML

I agree, your life sucks 256

You deserved it 212

Red tape

By Bob - 06/12/2025 03:00

Today, after months of looking for a job I had and interview and the guy practically begged me to take the job. Now the staffing agency is railroading me with paperwork and bullshit, so odds are I won’t get the job. Back to Indeed I go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 255

You deserved it 107

Nice but weird

By Anonymous - 20/12/2025 09:00

Today, my boss sent a Christmas present… to my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 254

You deserved it 91

PERVERTS!

By Anonymous - 15/12/2025 09:00

Today, I tackled and punched some pervert for taking up-skirt photos of a teen girl in a store. I’m now being threatened with a lawsuit because the “teen” was actually the guy's very young looking wife and they were doing some kinky role play in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 254

You deserved it 96

The cycle

By Anonymous - 31/12/2025 12:00

Today, my body has always been in a perfect cycle. The week after my ovulation, I start getting (in order, on a daily basis) dryness, itching, low energy, depression, manic mood swings, loss of appetite, bloating, and finally, when the back pain comes, my period. It all hit me in one day. Why? FML

I agree, your life sucks 254

You deserved it 51

I don't owe you anything

By Anonymous - 24/05/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend asked me for sex and when I said no, he asked me to leave. When I demanded to know why, he told me I had reached his limit: if I denied him sex for longer than 6 weeks in a row then clearly I’m not interested in an adult relationship, and need to get the hell out. Asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 254

You deserved it 1 368

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The Top

Today, I tried having intercourse with my boyfriend, and about 30 seconds in, I heard flipping. He was looking at a porn magazine. "It's to keep my erection" he answered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98 759

You deserved it 9 808

Today, I found out why my girlfriend comes over for dinner so often. She thinks my dad is a real babe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 014

You deserved it 2 314

Today, I spent several hours downtown with my violent grandma, after she was arrested for threatening a guy with a gun. His crime? "Trespassing" by ringing the doorbell and asking if she was interested in donating to charity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 911

You deserved it 3 892

Today, I discovered the man I'm in love with, the only person I've found attractive in the past 8 years, has a girlfriend, and has done for almost a year. I feel physically sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 818

You deserved it 437

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to dress in all black with a ski mask and use my spare key to break into my house as a joke. He though it was even funnier when I jumped out the window and broke my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 639

You deserved it 6 343

Today, I was talking to my sister about how I need to buy gifts from Santa for my daughter, when my son asked why I would be buying them instead of letting Santa bring them. My son genuinely still believed in Santa. He’s 22 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 917

You deserved it 1 147