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Confused

By Good to know - 16/01/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, I found out that, despite the name, it is indeed possible to get swimmer's ear without ever actually going swimming. Am I dumb, or am I right to be confused? I suppose it could be worse, but… how? FML

I agree, your life sucks 303

You deserved it 150

Fully relaxed

By Anonymous - 19/01/2025 20:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was getting a full-body massage at a spa when the masseuse dropped hot stones directly on my stomach. As I jumped up in shock and slight pain, the oils and towels all fell off me, leaving me completely naked in front of the spa receptionist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 133

Living in the material world

By Anonymous - 23/01/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, I realized I have most of the things I wanted when I was a kid. The ones I don't have are the emotional connections. I have all of the *material* things, and I hate my life because I'm lonely and touch-starved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 406

You deserved it 117

Blackmail material

By Anonymous - 27/01/2025 05:00 - Malaysia - Kulim

Today, my brother and I took an hour long train home. I'd got up early, so I dozed a little bit in the train. I woke up to people looking at me at me. Thinking I slayed my outfit or something, my brother sent me a 5 minute video of me snoring so damn loud with my ugly mouth hanging open, and other passengers laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 136

The truth of the matter

By Anonymous - 02/02/2025 18:00 - United States - New York

Today, I found out that the high school program that I was forced into, which kept me in school until I turned 21, was caused by my mom. She put me in the program without telling me and when I first learned about it, she pretended not to know anything so I wouldn't be mad at her. That was 10 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 503

You deserved it 118

Well travelled

By Anonymous - 10/02/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I was at a restaurant and confidently ordered in what I thought was fluent French. The waiter stared at me for a second, then responded in perfect English, "Dude, this is an Italian restaurant." FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 756

Oblivious

By Anonymous - 24/02/2025 12:00 - Slovenia - Ljubljana

Today, my ex and I had sex. Afterwards, I cleaned myself with a t-shirt and left a huge sperm stain on the front of it. After that, my stepfather came home, so we left. As we were sitting in the car in front of the house, my stepfather left on a bicycle, wearing the t-shirt. Sunlight reflected off the stain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 122

You deserved it 470

Keep your distance

By Gale - 14/03/2025 03:00 - United States - Flagstaff

Today, I went in for a hug with my friend, but she leaned in for a kiss on the cheek at the same time. What followed was a full-on awkward face collision where I ended up kissing her on the lips. We both stood there, staring at each other before I muttered, “Sorry, gross." She really took it personally. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 487

Brenda and me

By Not Brenda - 15/03/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was venting to a friend over Whatsapp about my annoying coworker when I realised I'd sent it to said coworker (always check which chat you are in while typing). I'd said, "I’m convinced Brenda is either possessed or just doesn't know how to be a normal human." I deleted it, but it was too late, as she replied with a smiley emoji and, “Can I help with anything, asshole?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 61

You deserved it 699

Dude, where's my car?

By Hannah - 19/03/2025 06:00 - United States

Today, I heard that my ex wrecked my car. He'd "borrowed it" and has had it for 2 months. He refused to return it. I went to the police and they went behind my back and "attempted" to retrieve it yesterday, without me. This just caused him to run away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 143

Emergency!

By Not again!!! - 07/04/2025 20:00 - United States - Spokane

Today, I had a major digestive emergency while at work. I rushed to the bathroom, just to realize there were no toilet paper rolls left. In a moment of desperation, I used the last few pages of my notebook to make do. Now I’m terrified of what’s going to happen if my boss ever asks for the reports I wrote in that notebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 104

Who's in charge?

By Anonymous - 30/04/2025 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, a couple of days after my boyfriend came on a night out with my friends but made us leave early as he had an early work shift, he's now spent the last two nights out with his friends, late, and all my friends are busy and a bit peeved at us taking off early the other night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 281

You deserved it 245

Black Mirror type shit

By Kareen - 04/05/2025 15:00 - United States - Austin

Today, out of desperation, I tried a new AI therapist app. Mid-session, it paused and asked, “Before we continue, would you like to upgrade to Premium for $9.99?” My mental breakdown was not included in the free trial. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 213

Charlie Chaplin is not dead

By ahjhdsbhjjhcs - 07/05/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I was watching a movie on my chair. I leaned back on the back of the chair and kept leaning back. Then I slowly fell down with my chair, onto the floor. It made a big noise, but nobody was hurt, it was just really absurd, like I'd watched another episode of Mr. Bean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 345

What a ride

By Play It All Night Long by Warren Zevon - 18/05/2025 16:00 - United States - New York

Today, I gave my new boss a ride, since his car died. I probably should have checked the music before I started the car; I'm not sure hearing "Grandpa pissed his pants again…" as the opener to a song made a good impression on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 294

You deserved it 242

Home sweet home

By Anonymous - 07/06/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, my wife yelled at me for putting away her rain coat and two sweaters that were hanging on the back of chairs. Because, “I was about to do that!” My mistake. They had only been there for a week. Ah, marital bliss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 87

Self-confidence at an all-time low

By Cyanopica cyana, the One Jealous Urocissa Erythrorhyncha - 11/06/2025 04:00 - China - Zhangzhou

Today, I quit a group chat full of very talented people drawing, programming, creating game mods, and translating comics. I was invited because of my drawings, but I couldn't talk to them, nor could I show my talents because of the many talented people in there. I quit due to feeling inferior. I HATE my inferiority complex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 258

You deserved it 351

Naughty boy

By Anonymous - 19/06/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I have to wear glasses for the first time in my life and my husband won’t stop pestering me because I now look like a librarian, which gets his nerd engine revving like mad. Don’t get me wrong, I’m liking the affection, and who doesn’t want sex more often, but not 2-3 times a day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 251

You deserved it 207

Where am I?

By I hate myself - 21/06/2025 15:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I thought I was going to a friend’s birthday party. Turns out, it was a surprise party for someone else... and I was the surprise. Everyone shouted “Surprise!” and I realized I wasn’t invited. I awkwardly ate a cupcake and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 100

Stop!

By Anonymous - 03/07/2025 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was trying to take a nice picture of my dad but he was just doing stupid-looking poses, so I got mad and told him to "stop acting like a prostitute" without knowing what that even means. Keep in mind, this was also in front of my mum and oldest sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 659

Lovable but annoying

By Anonymous - 09/07/2025 01:00 - United States - Great Falls

Today, I was in Barnes & Noble and some asshole was walking around with his phone on speaker to hear the baseball game. That asshole was my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 475

You deserved it 143

Slippery situation

By Slippery - 11/07/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, it had rained and the marble steps outside my office were slicker than I expected. I was trying to navigate down them with a coffee cup in one hand and my phone in the other when I was startled by a notification, slipped, threw my coffee up in the air, and landed flat on my back. Of course there were spectators. FML

I agree, your life sucks 305

You deserved it 229

Cut short

By Anonymous - 12/07/2025 21:00 - Ireland

Today, after working two jobs and saving constantly this year all for a month-long solo vacation traveling to 7 countries, I arrived in first one. Within three hours I fell and broke my foot, forcing me to come home in fear of needing surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 540

You deserved it 102

Burgers? In this economy?

By Anonymous - 16/07/2025 08:00 - Peru - Lima

Today, I was hungry and I was trying to buy the cheapest burger at Wendy's, but I'm so broke that I had to call my friends to lend me some money. Ugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 172

New BFF unlocked

By Jeremy - 28/07/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I called my sister to wish her a happy birthday. I sang the Birthday song off-key but in a spirited way, before she interrupted to say, “My birthday was yesterday.” She then added, “By the way, your ex remembered, and I think we're besties now.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 133

You deserved it 517

Parasocially busted

By Anonymous - 14/09/2025 20:00

Today, I spotted a huge Twitch streamer at Whole Foods. I ran up to say hi but caught her making out with another streamer she just did a music video with… even though she’s supposedly dating someone else. She froze, I panicked, and bolted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 162

You deserved it 290

Final destination

By Anonymous - 21/09/2025 22:00

Today, I was giving a friend a ride to a party and I followed Google Maps blindly. After 25 minutes of driving, we pulled into a cemetery. The GPS cheerfully announced, “You’ve arrived at your destination.” I suppose it is in a way, but we didn't plan on being early to THAT party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 256

You deserved it 113

Great meeting you!

By Anonymous - 04/10/2025 09:00

Today, I met my online date at a café. As soon as I walked in, I walked straight up to the wrong person, and launched into a 2-minute ramble about how excited I was to finally meet him. He just blinked and said, “I’m married.” My actual date was sitting right behind me, albeit a similar but not as good looking man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 465

Out of the frying pan…

By Anonymous - 16/10/2025 20:00

Today, after a five day bout of severe chronic constipation, I decided to get some orange juice and increase my water intake. The good news is that I'm no longer constipated. The bad news is that I've got diarrhea now. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 110

Hi Chris!

By Anonymous - 18/11/2025 12:00

Today, my coworkers surprised me with a birthday cake. It was really sweet, until I realized it was for another “Chris” who works in accounting. They only noticed after I blew out the candles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 74

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend of almost a year, and to whom I intended to propose on Thanksgiving, dumped me because her husband will be returning from Iraq soon. And he wants to have a "talk" with me. I didn't know she was married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 326

You deserved it 3 894

Today, I found out my bank charged me $50 for not having any money. Way to go bank, way to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 194

You deserved it 4 159

Today, my cousin taught me how to make dinner. My cousin is in first grade and I'm in college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 503

You deserved it 41 201

Today, I had to clean human excrement at work when the fitting room turned into the shitting room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 800

You deserved it 2 819

Today, my daughter got home from her first date, angry at me because I scared her date so much that he left halfway through. I swear I didn’t do anything except shake his hand and remind him her curfew is 10pm. Am I in the wrong here? FML

I agree, your life sucks 525

You deserved it 130

Today, I was running late for work and grabbed what I thought was my Stanley mug of coffee. Halfway to work, I took a big swig only to realize I had grabbed my son’s thermos of chicken noodle soup, which I then spat out. My car now smells like a deli, and I'm still uncaffeinated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 122

You deserved it 577