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Hey guys, just a quick follow up. Turns out she had help from my dad who grew up with four brothers that had huge pranking wars. I'm going to stop it at this. No more pranking. And I agree. She should've got this on tape then I could give you guys the link and prove I did the ice bucket challenge. (Sort of) thanks!

By Anonymous - 26/07/2014 02:06 - United States - Deatsville

Today, I have really painful pimples on my upper lip. I'm a professional trombonist, and every note causes excruciating pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 551

You deserved it 5 202

By danielle887 - 07/07/2011 05:53 - United States

Today, I decided to pay a surprise visit to my family after I got some work leave. I drove over and knocked on the door, and a young couple answered. Apparently, my entire family decided to move to Texas, and didn't bother to tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 021

You deserved it 3 391

By supertango500 - 11/03/2013 18:56 - United States

Today, I figured I needed to clean my room. I ended up finding my $135 calculator that I'd accused my ex-boyfriend of selling for gas money. That's also the reason I dumped him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 084

You deserved it 76 321

Bon voyage!

By greaaaatt. - 25/07/2010 05:45 - United States

Today, I found out that I get to spend the next two weeks at my grandparents' house, which smells like cat litter, while the rest of my family takes a cruise through the Caribbean. They can't afford to take a ninth person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 082

You deserved it 2 933

By Good choice cat - 24/02/2014 19:05 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I learned that I'm the only person in my family that our new cat likes. She sleeps on my bed and always sits in my lap and despises everyone else. I'm allergic to cats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 721

You deserved it 4 517

I heard that

By Anonymous - 25/04/2011 09:20 - Ireland

Today, I organised a romantic day trip for me and my boyfriend to some tropical gardens. I packed lunch and paid for the tickets. He decided to bring a friend, who doesn't speak English. The only thing that he said that I understood was that, "Your girlfriend eats a lot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 320

You deserved it 4 509

Sorry

By brokeforever - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Latvia - Riga

Today, I found out how much those tiny dogs cost when my German Shepherd ate one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 131

You deserved it 12 937

First!

By karma - 28/01/2009 18:36 - Canada

Today, I almost had an orgasm. Unfortunately, he had one first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 206

You deserved it 7 485

By Anonymous - 21/12/2010 20:51 - United States

Today, I went and bought my wife a new cell phone for a Christmas present. She called me five minutes later saying she got a notification e-mail thanking her for her purchase. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 910

You deserved it 11 609

In distress

By jdch_99 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, the pharmacist warned me that my antibiotics might cause slight gastrointestinal distress. The fact that I have been on the john for the past 90 minutes drenched in sweat would lead me to believe our definitions of "slight" are a bit different. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 844

You deserved it 1 714

By anon - 20/11/2015 00:53 - New Zealand

Today, I found my expensive lingerie I thought I had lost. In my 15-year-old brother's room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 667

You deserved it 2 232

By Anonymous - 06/11/2010 11:45 - Australia

Today, my brother flicked a huge bug onto my foot, making me freak out and fall into my outdoors pool. The water was so cold that I started hyperventilating. My brother left to "get help". I finally managed to get out, and found him watching TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 341

You deserved it 5 610

Awkward much?

By iskalion - 10/10/2015 05:39 - Canada - Grande Prairie

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents over lunch. Unfortunately, I showed my dad her Facebook profile beforehand and he wouldn't stop making cracks about her duckfacing. It started with, "Don't let her eat the bread, it'll puff up in her stomach and kill her", and ended in tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 470

You deserved it 5 463

By hey-ooo - 28/10/2009 01:15 - United States

Today, I was sitting in the cafeteria with my friends when I suddenly passed out due to my hypoglycemia. When I woke up, I discovered that I was still in the same spot and my friends had abandoned me to go to class. Also, my stuff was stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 835

You deserved it 2 852

By Anonymous - 30/03/2011 16:37 - United States

Today, I told my crush of two years that I love him. He responded with an, "Aww, I'm sorry." and a pity hug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 675

You deserved it 9 920

By Anonymous - 29/11/2013 15:37 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I actually thought of faking my own death to get away from my girlfriend and her insane, overbearing family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 847

You deserved it 7 848

By topfisherman - 05/02/2010 20:17 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to have fun at school. So, we went into the locker room. We were making out for a couple minutes when the door opened. It was the principal, who also happens to be her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 770

You deserved it 42 269

Still relevant

By FMJoblessL - 04/02/2010 05:02 - United States

Today, I am jobless after graduation. Ironic, since when I started college with my education degree, I was congratulated, told of the teacher shortage in my state, and how quickly I would be able to find a job. Three years in, the economy tanks, and the state issues a teacher hiring freeze. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 698

You deserved it 2 952

By Lilly - 30/10/2012 18:45 - United States

Today, my husband and I found out that our dog was pregnant. He now refuses to have kids with me for at least two years, because he wants to raise the puppies without any "distractions". FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 984

You deserved it 4 385

By Anonymous - 29/10/2012 10:32 - United States - Levelland

Today, after I gave birth to our first child, my husband looked at the doctor and seriously asked, "When do you circumcise the baby?" We had a baby girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 825

You deserved it 2 710

By unknown - 24/01/2010 15:27 - France

Today, my boyfriend told me he hasn't showered since our first date. We've been dating for three weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 273

You deserved it 4 822

By woopwoop - 18/04/2009 01:22 - United States

Today, while standing in line at the grocery store, I noticed that myself and the woman in front of me were wearing the same shirt. As she was about to leave, I said to her "Hey! I'm wearing that shirt!" She turned to me and replied, "Not in THIS size you aren't." FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 237

You deserved it 10 900

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my Mom found out that I've been intimate with one of my best friends in the past. We used protection, it never went anywhere, and we ended it amicably, but she still gave me a huge lecture. Later, she high-fived and congratulated him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 722

You deserved it 505

Today, I got cut from my track team. My coach told me it was because my sprints were "too fast" for his liking. Huh? FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 403

You deserved it 3 868

Today, for my birthday, my friend bought me a book on how to lose weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 391

You deserved it 3 397

Today, the summer camp I work at had its annual scavenger hunt, wherein the counselors hide and the kids look for us. It was my first year there, so some of my colleagues showed me the "best hiding spot." Two hours later, still undiscovered, I realized they just wanted to get rid of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 611

You deserved it 3 104

Today, I’m starting my 28th year with 28 cents on my bank account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 553

You deserved it 12 789

Today, I came home in tears over finding out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. I told my seemingly sympathetic dad everything. His advice was to lure them both to our house with the promise of a three-way, after which he'd "kill the shit" out of them. Real mature, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 782

You deserved it 6 989