The Top

Her maid of honor is already married, and she's not getting married for the second time. I just married her brother. And btw, I'm planning her wedding with her mother, not her.

By Anonymous - 27/09/2010 15:07 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. I got a graphing calculator and my period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 600

You deserved it 4 800

By hadtocleanthemess - 28/06/2011 12:35 - Canada

Today, my dog got his head stuck in a container, panicked, and shat himself all over the living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 896

You deserved it 4 207

By verasam01 - 25/02/2011 00:37 - United States

Today, I took a picture of myself and put it on Facebook. After I did so, I realized that in the background, you can see my crush's Facebook page up on my laptop. He tagged himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 818

You deserved it 51 782

So romantic

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I realized the only reason my boyfriend is dating me is because he has a pimple fetish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 335

You deserved it 5 364

By Anonymous - 22/09/2010 01:31 - United States

Today, at work I was bored so I started to doodle on MS paint. My boss walks by and asks me to join him in his office. When I do so, he fires me for drawing offensive material. I drew a rainbow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 459

You deserved it 78

By elsatheannoyed - 12/11/2014 04:34 - United States - Santa Clara

Today, like any other day since that stupid movie Frozen came out, people have been asking me if I want to build a snowman. My name is Elsa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 130

You deserved it 4 543

Geography

By Anonymous - 14/07/2012 22:47 - United States

Today, I had to slowly explain to my boss that in some parts of the world, it's currently winter, due to the different hemispheres. He scoffed, accused me of "making shit up," and said that if I took him for a fool again, I'd be looking for a new job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 575

You deserved it 2 375

By annoyed - 29/07/2010 08:02 - United States

Today, I came home from vacation to discover that one of my friends had broken into my house, painted my room a hideous color, ruined my hardwood floors with the paint, and left huge mess for me to clean. When I confronted her about it, she called me ungrateful. Everyone I know agrees with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 660

You deserved it 4 167

BoondockSaint9 tells us more.

BoondockSaint9 0

Friday 30 July 2010 1:13

Hey, this is the OP...just made an account to clarify this. She painted my room black, then tried to paint turquoise stripes over it. The hardwood floor might be fixable, yeah, but getting the black paint out of my white carpet...? Not so much. Not to mention she broke my patio door to get in...and she tried to poor the extra paint down the drain in my bathroom sink, so that's all clogged up. Needless to say, she's not my friend anymore...if I can get her to pay for the damages and a painter to fix my room, I won't press charges.

By Anonymous - 09/03/2010 08:57 - United States

Today, my roommate confronted me about my eating disorder. She described in length how emaciated my chest has become and how she wants to help. Except I don't have an eating disorder. My sternum is deformed and I have only recently become confident enough to wear low-cut tops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 642

You deserved it 2 647