Hands on the wheel

By Username - 05/10/2011 00:02 - United States

Spicy
Today, on my way home, my girlfriend started sexting me, telling me that she was waiting at my house. In my rush to get home to see her, I got pulled over and had to be patted down. He found no weapons, but he did find my stiffy. FML
I agree, your life sucks 41 989
You deserved it 12 675
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Top comments

ollie179 21

What's this? A gun? A knife? You people make me sick. It must be a gun, it has a sort of rounded tip. Wait...hang on. My mistake...

302 6
RockstarRN 10

Just be honest. If it was a guy cop he would probably understand why you were rushing. Hope it was worth the ticket!

183 14

Comments

tsim_fml 0

The cop was most likely gay if he was touching your 'stiffy'

11 64
Chunkylover76 4

Not really! It all depends on where OP has it tucked! If it's down and to the side, Officer Smooth Hands would brush by it searching OP's inner thighs. And if he's got it pulled up, it would most likely be found when OP's waistband is searched. Neither of which has anything to do with the officers sexual orientation, and everything with properly patting down a subject thoroughly for his own safety!

25 1
karagarren 8

I think a good cop would check there too to be safe. I'm sure there are people who hide weapons down there... o.O sounds risky though

12 0
ShyAnn29 14

27 that's true, I've heard some women will stick things up their vaginas, so the cops have to check everywhere. I'm sure that's not the first time that's happened to cops though

7 2
Mr_Alarm 12

Reminds me of that newspaper headline: "Crack found in man's buttocks"

20 0
ck11_fml 1

but why in the hell did he need to be searched, anyway? cops are supposed to have some semblance of a reason for that shit.

3 1
borkchop1992 15

that gun has the power to shoot stds at people

90 9
hyden121 2

Haha. I guess you can skip the foreplay when you get back to your house.

43 1
NoNotTheFace 8

Sir, I believe you are having a concealed weapon. Please get out of the car and hand over the small pocket pistol you've hidden in your crotch area.

64 2
enonymous 8

It's only a pat down if it last under 30 seconds any more is just foreplay...

54 1
lluliet92 0

#10....omg totally funny lol

1 11
s0m3guy2010 21

Did you tell him that you carry your own personal tripod at all times?

19 1
nickeabaganisima 0

Lol Like ur status

1 1
quickdog93 4

I call bs on this. I get so nervous whenever I even hear a olive siren. You'd lose that boner in 3 seconds after getting pulled over. And secondly, if you were only speeding a cop would have ZERO reason to pat you down unless you did something to initiate it.

0 0
DHoffmann 9

Tell him it's an emergency and you'll pay him back with nudes later, bro.

21 3