Intimacy: Hands on the wheel

Hands on the wheel

By Username - 05/10/2011 00:02 - United States

Today, on my way home, my girlfriend started sexting me, telling me that she was waiting at my house. In my rush to get home to see her, I got pulled over and had to be patted down. He found no weapons, but he did find my stiffy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 989

You deserved it 12 675

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Same thing different taste

By Victoria - 21/10/2010 18:10 - United States

Today, I got pulled over by a state trooper for speeding. When he saw I had something in my pocket, he began to ask if it was a weapon. After arguing for a few minutes I was put in handcuffs. I was too embarrassed to pull the tampon out my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 856

You deserved it 48 374

Sticky fingers

By FlickedOff 2023 - 01/12/2023 06:00

Today, my FWB and I were on a road trip. His dumbass got us pulled over by the cops, and he decided it was the perfect moment to start fingering me. Worse yet, I got off in between visits from the cop. He took his license and ticket with his fingering hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 171

You deserved it 642

By well then... - 15/06/2013 05:04 - Canada - London

Today, as I was crossing to the US, I got pulled over by border patrol for looking "suspicious". The female cop searched my purse and found a condom. She smirked and said, "I doubt you'd ever need that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 438

You deserved it 4 797

By arctic1 - 27/05/2009 09:45 - United States

Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 339

You deserved it 68 780

Hello hello hello

By Bonnie and Clyde - 08/05/2015 02:18 - United States - Humble

Today, my boyfriend and I got busted by a cop for having sex in his car. When the cop sent us on our way, we went home and the garage was open, so we called the cops thinking someone was in the home. No one was in the house, and we got the same cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 184

You deserved it 9 405

Kinda sus

By kmf - 10/08/2009 19:06 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were starting to get hot and heavy in my truck at our favorite park. We started going at it and we were both butt naked when I saw a car pull into the lot. Not only was it a cop car, but the first thing the cop asked my girlfriend was, "Are you being held against your will?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 192

You deserved it 14 413

Caught red-handed

By Anonymous - 30/11/2020 20:04

Today, my girlfriend and I got busted by the cops having sex in a dark parking lot near the beach. As if that wasn't bad enough, as I was trying to talk my way out of a ticket, one of the cops peeks into the car window and I hear my girlfriend awkwardly giggle and say, "Hi daddy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 870

You deserved it 757

By loveade11 - 12/01/2010 19:28 - France

Today, a police officer caught my girlfriend and me having sex. The officer was my dad, and we were butt naked in his new Ford Expedition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 732

You deserved it 35 689

By Khrixas_069 - 18/06/2011 07:10 - United States

Today, I was about to make love to my girlfriend at the local park when a cop caught us. I had to give him our information and hold a conversation with "Fire and Ice" lubricant on my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 731

You deserved it 58 724

By tigerbyrn - 30/05/2016 15:35 - Canada - Scarborough

Today, as I was about to meet my girlfriend's parents, she thought it would be funny to grab my junk and give me a hard-on right before they walked in. I couldn't hide it quickly enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 098

You deserved it 2 102

ollie179 21

Wednesday 5 October 2011 8:40

What's this? A gun? A knife? You people make me sick. It must be a gun, it has a sort of rounded tip. Wait...hang on. My mistake...

RockstarRN 10

Wednesday 5 October 2011 8:37

Just be honest. If it was a guy cop he would probably understand why you were rushing. Hope it was worth the ticket!

Comments

bringingsexybak 0

Wednesday 5 October 2011 17:12

Both;) haha gotta luv the simpsons

killakiwi 1

Wednesday 5 October 2011 17:21

You deserved it, Driving while texting even if only reading. I hope you got a nice big ticket.

bubo_fml 10

Wednesday 5 October 2011 17:24

"Officer, I'm cocked & loaded w/a hair trigger...Handle it gently or it'll go off in my boxers!"

zombiekitten87 12

Wednesday 5 October 2011 17:35

Why did you have to be patted down for speeding?

j_cat187 19

Wednesday 5 October 2011 17:59

Tell the officer you where gonna get laid, hence the speeding.

bringingsexybak 0

Wednesday 5 October 2011 18:11

Both.;) haha gotta love the simpsons

SammySteel 6

Wednesday 5 October 2011 18:31

You're a hard one to pat

GoArmy6624 7

Wednesday 5 October 2011 19:50

He patted you down for speeding? Obviously someone hasn't read the Bill of Rights.

phatmac21 8

Wednesday 5 October 2011 20:20

I hope he was impressed ;-)

cajekraze 7

Wednesday 5 October 2011 20:47

why did you get patted down? you must've done something more suspicious than speeding...or he wanted to cop a feel after seeing the swell

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Miscellaneous Family Health Love Frustration Religion Relatable Awkward School Work Porn Money Transportation Cars Cheating Intimacy Sex Ironic Drunk Dentist Kids Parents Birthday Cute Death Painful I need your advice Sextoys NSFW Bodyshaming

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