The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

By Anonymous - 26/03/2013 14:22 - United States - Audubon

Today, my cat learned the hard way what the bathtub is for. While I was in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 947

You deserved it 3 991

Good question

By fuck you pikachu! - 18/07/2022 00:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found out the rumors are true: my girlfriend is in fact cheating on me. I’m not sure what’s worse, the fact that she got busted for sex in a public park, or the fact that they’ve met up there several times to play Pokémon Go. Is that even a thing anymore?! FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 548

You deserved it 230

Bursting out

By Myth Confirmed - 26/10/2023 10:00 - Philippines - Makati City

Today, I overheard my brother telling my son and his male cousins, who all think he's a cool uncle, that, "Only women can sneeze and fart at the same time." I decided to intervene, and gave him a scolding of a lifetime in front of them. Let's just say, I had to sneeze while in the middle of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 667

You deserved it 460

By Not-pregnant - 20/04/2014 17:21 - United States - Melbourne

Today, my dad made me stick my gut out and walk around awkwardly, just so I'd look pregnant and let him get away with parking in an "expectant mothers" parking spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 648

You deserved it 4 897

That's kind of abusive

By Tea gurl - 23/04/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend “accidentally” spilled a cup of hot tea on my lap at the dinner table. I had to get treated for second degree burns, because the skin on my lap was heavily saturated with the stuff. Apparently, he’s still mad at me for buying a male coworker a present for his birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 667

You deserved it 104

Drilled

By dammit - 10/08/2010 05:19 - United States

Today, there was a fire drill at my school. I was in the bathroom taking a dump, and if that wasn't bad enough, I got suspended for two days for 'improper procedure during a fire drill'. I didn't know you could get suspended for taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 421

You deserved it 4 389

The only way to have a decent conversation

By Anonymous - 18/07/2022 22:00

Today, I realised I'm one of those people who can talk without caring if anyone is listening. I was telling my husband about something, and noticed he was asleep. I checked our living room camera. He was asleep when I got home and I just started talking, for 20 minutes, without realising he was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 1 304

By Millian2 - 08/04/2012 02:10 - United States - Plymouth

Today, I learned that when you take off your sweatshirt, it can get stuck in your braces. I was in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 053

You deserved it 3 718

By Anonymous - 18/03/2013 18:42 - Canada - Victoria

Today, I woke up with a giant red rash all over my face, so puffed up that I could hardly open my eyes. The doctor said it was probably from some of the compounds found in most makeup. I'm just getting into theatre and have auditions coming up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 218

You deserved it 4 022

By sherronj - 07/06/2011 03:26 - United States

Today, I announced to my family that I will be trying out for the next season of America's Best Dance Crew. They responded by laughing hysterically and my mother said "You guys suck, good luck making it past auditions". FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 334

You deserved it 7 553

By liz1234 - 23/03/2009 00:11 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. His mom called to him from the next room telling him dinner would be ready soon, he needed to move his car, etc. They had a 5 minute conversation...while he was still inside me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 261

You deserved it 8 148

Creepy

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, in my psychology class, the creepy guy who sits beside me every day leans over and says, "I have an upset stomach, I may have to use the bathroom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 298

You deserved it 2 536

Encourage your kids, damn asshats!

By The bassist - 17/05/2021 04:01

Today, months after buying my first bass guitar and taking bass lessons using my own money, I realized that my parents refused to buy me an instrument, claiming that I sucked at it. What actually happened is that they didn't feel like paying for some "teenage bullshit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 902

You deserved it 172

By PhailedMidterm - 12/03/2013 19:03 - United States - Mattapan

Today, I was at the library doing research for my midterm. All of the computers were in use, so I decided to use my laptop instead. Ten minutes later, I was confronted and kicked out. My offense? Unauthorized use of the library's so-called "Free Public WiFi". FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 125

You deserved it 3 188

By swim5 - 31/03/2012 12:22 - United States - Tempe

Today, my boyfriend of 3 months broke up with me because he is moving. He's only moving 20 minutes away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 533

You deserved it 3 506

Weird flex, but OK

By Anonymous - 21/05/2021 11:01 - Canada - Burnaby

Today, I realized it is my life goal to get kicked out of a fast-food restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 247

You deserved it 885

Inappropriate behavior

By start waxing - 23/07/2022 14:00

Today, for the third time, I had to tell my stepfather to stop using my razor. It seems when I told him last time that I use it on my armpits, that only encouraged the behaviour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 847

You deserved it 123

By Happy 20th! - 28/07/2010 05:48 - United States

Today, it's my 20th birthday! Happy birthday to me! My boyfriend threw a beer can through my back wind-shield after breaking up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 827

You deserved it 4 608

By lemonjuice - 18/03/2009 06:22 - United States

Today, I was at a Chinese restaurant, I'd forgotten my glasses and had a migraine. I was straining my eyes, squinting and rubbing my temples to alleviate my migraine. I was kicked out of the restaurant and banned henceforth because my waitress thought I was mocking her eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 509

You deserved it 10 686

lemonjuice tells us more.

lemonjuice 0

Friday 20 March 2009 4:45

There are very few Chinese restaurant areas, this was definitely the best for your dollar. Yeah I did try to explain myself but the manager as well as her mother and son came out to yell at me. I just couldn't deal with that while I had a migraine, I shouldn't have been there anyways, MSG often gives me migraines, so FML again.

By ohcrap - 28/09/2009 04:10 - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's father for the first time. We were at a restaurant and my bofriend kept playing footsie with me under the table. When my boyfriend excused himself to go to the restroom, the game of footsie was still going on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 084

You deserved it 4 614

By Noname - 17/03/2009 20:35 - United States

Today, I had a gymnastics meet. I thought I was done with my period, but when I was up on the beam warming up my routine, one of my coaches called me down and told me that I apparently wasn't. My coach goes around asking my teammates moms if they had any pads. My dad caught this all on tape. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 934

You deserved it 7 684

Bit of both

By Anonymous - 25/05/2021 22:01 - Australia

Today, at the age of 30, I was diagnosed with both sciatica and ADHD. I don't know whether to feel really old, or really young. FML

I agree, your life sucks 828

You deserved it 92

That one embarrassing friend

By Tarik C - 06/08/2022 18:00

Today, while scouting a promising investment opportunity, my friend who escorted me kept referring to the area as “the hood” at full volume as we walked the street. Now I’m supposed to open a storefront there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 740

You deserved it 161

By FMLer - 27/05/2011 20:57 - United States

Today, I found out that since I stopped shaving my legs, my boyfriend and his friends have started referring to me as a Wookiee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 422

You deserved it 62 895

By marsbar - 15/03/2009 05:07 - United States

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was moving his hand from his thigh to my chest but on the way he sort of squeezed my stomach. When I asked him why he did that, he told me that "his fingers got stuck under my roll." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 761

You deserved it 20 115

Grab it while you can

By Arabian_Soap - 31/05/2021 08:01 - Australia - Mermaid Beach

Today, I was walking through a rich part of the city and saw 2 dollars on the ground. I didn't pick it so people wouldn't think I was poor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 303

You deserved it 1 223

No need for white knights

By jpaylay - 31/07/2022 22:00

Today, my sister's boyfriend of over a year broke up with her. As her brother, I instinctively wanted to beat him up, but he is too much of nice guy for me to be able to hurt him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 259

You deserved it 1 078

By Not_High - 23/03/2012 06:18 - Canada - White Rock

Today, I was accused of being high. Why? Because I was playing with a milk bottle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 984

You deserved it 5 291

Not_High tells us more.

Not_High 9

Friday 23 March 2012 23:17

For everyone wondering, there were multiple teachers who accused me. Then they proceeded to contact my parents on account of my 'strange behavior'

By MSURebel70 - 16/07/2010 23:48 - United States

Today, I found out I've been incorrectly sorting thousands of papers for the past two weeks. My boss wanted them sorted by date, but the co-worker who instructed me said to sort them into alphabetical order just to watch me fail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 981

You deserved it 3 377

By Anonymous - 01/03/2013 16:35 - United States

Today, I received a chain-mail text that vividly described what "Tanya" would do to me in my sleep if I didn't forward it on. I'm so paranoid that I did just that. I also realized that accidentally forwarding such things to your boss can get you fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 973

You deserved it 51 835

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Annoying Hospital Work Management Language DIY Miscellaneous Relatable Mysterious Awkward Cars Embarrassing Cooking Coworkers Love Anniversary Divorce Transportation Health Surgery Healthy Lifestyle Growing old Technology Money Ironic Animals Relationships Horses Jealousy Birds

The Top

The Top

Today, I found a Google search for "erectile dysfunction" in my browser search history, along with pages about treatments for it. I'm a woman, and I live alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 274

You deserved it 3 831

Today, I woke up to every window in my house packed with snow. It was so bad that I thought I'd been snowed-in, and I started freaking out. It took two hours and multiple phone calls before I found out that my neighbor had taken our prank war too seriously and staged the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 216

You deserved it 13 447

Today, I got a letter from my mother-in-law stating that demons made her spread rumors about me all over my hometown before my wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 048

You deserved it 2 516

Today, I was sitting with a friend who moved back into town, and he told me about how he hooked up with a girl at a bar last night. I asked him if she was hot, he responded "Yeah, I have a picture of her on my phone." It was a picture of my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 425

You deserved it 2 924

Today, I was partnered with this really sexy guy for an audition. He says, "Am I really stuck with you? I can't even stand being seen with you in public!" I start cursing him out really loud, but then I realize that he's only reading the script. Everyone was staring, and he called me a crazy bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 195

You deserved it 71 427

Today, I was having lunch at a cafe. There was an attractive guy looking at me from another table. I smiled back and gave a little wink. A minute later he approached me. I introduced myself and asked if he wanted my number. He said, "Um, no but what are you eating? It looks really good" FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 220

You deserved it 21 888