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By awesome - 23/03/2011 00:18

Today, my friends thought it would be hilarious to show me Marley and Me the day right after I had to put down my dog. I had my dog for 11 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 508

You deserved it 4 252

What just happened?

By What did I do last night? - 07/11/2022 10:00 - United States

Today, I've been experiencing a phenomenon where I wake up in the middle of the night, check the time, realize it's the middle of the night, and go right back to sleep. Every time I wake up after falling back asleep, I feel as though me waking up earlier was just my imagination. My own brain is gaslighting me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 708

You deserved it 131

By everore - 25/12/2012 18:12 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, my brother learned how to fake cry. I've been catching shit for everything I've done and said near him ever since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 097

You deserved it 3 474

Toys R Us

By J…… - 07/02/2009 21:16 - United Kingdom

Today, I went looking for a childhood doll - I remembered that my mum kept her in her bedside cabinet. I could see the doll at the back, but there was stuff in the way, so I reached in and took some of it out, only to find I was holding one of my mum's toys… a big black rubber cock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 286

You deserved it 7 012

It's mine now

By Anonymous - 26/04/2020 20:00

Today, my best friend's boyfriend stole her car, so now she wants my car, the one that I just bought from her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 689

You deserved it 151

Spectacle

By chunderful202 - 24/12/2012 08:46 - United Kingdom - Romford

Today, I woke up with a hangover from hell. My clothes were stained with vomit, I was propped up on the sofa with a bowl between my knees, and my hair tied to one side. My mum was taking photos to send to Grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 815

You deserved it 41 574

NSFW

By Pornstartled - 03/11/2022 14:00 - Netherlands - Zutphen

Today, my manager called when I was watching porn. I picked up after pausing the video, but somehow the video kept playing. I'm pretty sure she definitely heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 282

You deserved it 1 443

Dogs 4 Life

By RIPFelicity - 21/08/2021 00:01

Today, my boss wrote me up for appearing "depressing" to customers. I told her that I was upset because my dog had to be put down yesterday. She told me, "Aw that’s sad. But guess what? That dog ain’t gonna pay your bills and put bread on your table. So cut the emo crap or you’re fired." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 713

You deserved it 251

By cleangirl - 14/03/2011 23:45 - United Kingdom

Today, my new boyfriend was at my flat for the first time. He picked up something in the bathroom and said 'What the hell's this?'. I told him what it was for, and he said 'You girls and your weird female products. Who needs all this stuff?'. It wasn't a female thing. It was shampoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 567

You deserved it 4 627

By apple - 28/02/2010 18:57 - United States

Today, I had to clean out my room because I was having a sleepover. Only, I've not been in here for months since I've spent every night in my mom's room because I'm too scared to sleep alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 084

You deserved it 32 240

Bubbles

By soapgirl - 13/08/2009 16:07 - Philippines

Today, my mom was gifted with a toiletry basket. I grabbed the lotion and used it without asking. When I went out, it began raining hard. I got wet and noticed my skin got very sticky. Turns out the lotion was actually body wash. People were wondering why soap bubbles were coming from my skin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 438

You deserved it 65 088

By d.stack - 12/08/2009 23:14 - United States

Today, I ran sound for my ex's wedding rehearsal since I was the only sound tech in town. Her dad was late for the rehearsal, so the pastor had me to walk her down the aisle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 804

You deserved it 3 997

By jules - 10/03/2011 07:53 - United States

Today, an older man sat next to me while he ate his lunch. He dropped what I assumed was his cutlery. Wanting to help out, I picked it up off the floor. It was his teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 253

You deserved it 5 047

My drip

By Anonymous - 11/08/2009 15:33 - United States

Today, the dry cleaner next to my house went up in flames. I went outside to look at the fire, as I looked on in amazement I realized I had dropped off all of my work clothes at the cleaners two days before. I was supposed to pick them up today, but was too lazy to walk the 10 feet to the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 862

You deserved it 67 046

By FML - 02/02/2009 18:27 - United States

Today, I was having sex with a girl. After we finish, she tells me she already has a boyfriend, and that his penis is larger than mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 872

You deserved it 10 208

Instadrama

By Anonymous - 15/05/2020 20:00

Today, after suspecting that my boyfriend was cheating while I was out of town, I came across an Instagram picture of him with another girl. I found out that he told her he was single. When I confronted him in a comment, the girl’s friend replied, "He clearly likes her more than you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 791

You deserved it 606

Ambulances ain't cheap

By Mom - 29/03/2024 09:00 - United States - Maryland Heights

Today, I went into labor, and my husband wasn't answering his phone. I called my sister to ask her to drive me to the hospital but she said she'd only do it if I paid her $1000. I had to dial 911, and almost gave birth in my bathroom in process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 827

You deserved it 130

Bad day

By meranda_johnson - 13/12/2012 08:58 - United States

Today, I have a cold. I can't begin to count how many times I've sneezed throughout the day, but I can count how many times I've sneezed so hard that I've peed myself: twice. Once while I was at work helping a customer, the other while sitting on the couch next to my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 856

You deserved it 2 564

Leave me alone

By Antisocial, I guess - 23/11/2022 04:00 - United States

Today, I got yelled at for having a set of headphones around my neck at all times, because it "makes me seem disinterested." Two things: 1. I have established myself as a very good listener among my peers; 2. I'm autistic, so I need the headphones readily available at all times to cope with loud environments. FML

I agree, your life sucks 891

You deserved it 146

Party zone!!

By helloworld92 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I hung out with my crush for only the second time at his apartment. He was having a party. After a few sips of my green apple Smirnoff, I puked up the chinese food I had eaten earlier all over his new couch in front of him and a bunch of people I didn't know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 581

You deserved it 8 270

Not so BFF

By Anonymous - 24/11/2022 16:00 - United States - Spring

Today, I asked out the guy I like, and he said yes. Later, I found out that he used to date my BFF and he broke up with her right before I'd asked him. I left him saying he should have told me earlier and that I would be weird if we dated. I talked to my BFF about it and she got mad at me. She literally didn't even tell me about them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 755

You deserved it 235

By Anonymous - 23/02/2010 15:20 - United Kingdom

Today, I discovered everyone at work refers to me as 'The Man-Lady'. I work in a supermarket's beauty department. FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 40

Roomies

By merrymary - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I moved in with my new roommate. She's a vegetarian, and won't let me put my meat in the fridge because it will "contaminate her food". FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 177

You deserved it 6 148

Wakey wakey

By sacked - 22/02/2010 19:51 - United States

Today, I was woken by my alarm. I got really tangled up in my blankets, and struggled frantically to untangle myself so I could turn off the alarm. I not only kneed myself in the face, but I accidentally punched myself in the nuts too. Hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 380

You deserved it 24 040

Thanks for your help

By Anonymous - 26/11/2022 12:00 - Germany - Emden

Today, I asked a gynecologist if there’s any help for my boobs feeling like giant bruises one week out of three. Her reply was, “If you’re not willing to take pain killers for it, it can’t be that bad.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 809

You deserved it 216

By burnnnnn - 22/02/2010 01:31 - Ecuador

Today, I was walking with a friend after buying two cups of steaming hot coffee. While crossing the busiest street in town I tripped and fell, spilling the coffee all over me. My friend didn't notice I fell right in front of her and tripped over me spilling her coffee on me as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 486

You deserved it 2 818

By Kyle - 05/01/2012 06:58 - United States

Today, I jokingly mocked my dad about his age. He jokingly poured milk all over my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 929

You deserved it 35 986

Cruel

By Anonymous - 29/11/2022 02:00

Today, we were supposed to go to one of my husband's coworkers' party, but he had to go alone because we couldn’t find my prosthetic leg anywhere. I eventually found it, in the shed. The only way it got there was if my husband put it there on purpose so I couldn’t go. I think he’s embarrassed of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 602

You deserved it 113

CREEPY!

By Anonymous - 21/10/2025 22:00

Today, my father-in-law confessed during dinner that he watched me and my wife have sex that morning through the window. He even more awkwardly brought it back up later that evening to say I seemed very good at it, and tried asking for details about me and my wife’s sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 602

You deserved it 90

By Anonymous - 05/12/2012 10:52 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, my pregnant girlfriend gave me back the ring I'd used to propose with a week ago. Her reason? She only said yes because she was worried the real father of the baby wasn't going to stick around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 009

You deserved it 2 882

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The Top

Today, my new roommate moved in. It seems that instead of using toilet paper like a normal human being, she instead opts to use the nearest towel in reach. I found this out when I went to dry off with mine after a shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 662

You deserved it 2 242

Today, I was watching TV. During a very long commercial break, I found my brothers PSP charger next to me. Out of boredom I put my tongue on the end on the metal. Not only did it fry my tongue but found its way to my metal filling in my tooth. I now have a sore tongue and a throbbing toothache. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 189

You deserved it 80 611

Today, I am 10 years clean from an opiate addiction. It’s also been 10 years since I began suffering from severe restless legs syndrome, to the point I cry from frustration and sleep deprivation almost every night. I’ve tried several medications, they don’t help. A recent injury has made me realize opiates do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 943

You deserved it 147

Today, I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. I go on Instagram to find that the girl I rejected for her just announced her engagement. This girl literally moved mountains for me for years and my selfish ass didn’t wanna go out with her, all because my girlfriend was hotter. I’m a dumbass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 198

You deserved it 2 754

Today, in order to save money, instead of going to the car wash, I decided to wash my car at home. While sponging the roof, I slipped on the soapy driveway and ended up sliding under the car, getting soaked and covered in suds. My neighbor saw the whole thing and couldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 158

Today, the cafe lady misnamed me Michael. I corrected her and jokingly exclaimed that Michael must be really handsome if she mistook me for him. She simply responded, “No, not really.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 144

You deserved it 408