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Naughty boy

By baddog - 22/08/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, my dog started barking during a work video call. I picked him up to prove he was harmless. He immediately sneezed directly into my face, then licked my mouth. My microphone was still on, and everyone heard me yell, “WHY?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 44

You deserved it 37

Knackered

By Jim - 31/08/2025 00:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I fell asleep on the train after a long day at work. I woke up when someone gently tapped my shoulder. I opened my eyes to see people smiling at me. I'd been snoring so loud that the conductor had said, “Please wake Sleeping Beauty up, this is the last stop.” I had drooled on my tie and missed my actual stop by an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 156

Take your time

By Anonymous - 12/09/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, while brushing my teeth before a date, I sneezed so hard that toothpaste flew all over my clean shirt. I was already running late, so I panicked and tried to wipe it off with water. It left huge wet spots. I showed up looking like I had just lost a fight with a giant toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 122

You deserved it 299

Stinky

By Barney - 19/09/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, while in a bathroom stall at work, I pulled out my phone to play Candy Crush. Somehow, I hit the volume button, and my phone blasted a YouTube ad for men’s body spray. The whole room went silent. Then I heard someone say, “You need it, son.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 93

You deserved it 410

Small talk

By Rob - 24/09/2025 20:00

Today, I was in an elevator with a bunch of people in suits. It was so quiet, I tried to break the ice by joking, “So… who farted?” The doors opened immediately and everyone walked out without a word. I was left alone in my own shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64

You deserved it 621

You OK, bro?

By Anonymous - 28/09/2025 09:00

Today, at the gym I loaded way too much weight on the bench press. Halfway through my set, I got stuck with the bar on my chest, squealing like a squeezed rubber duck until a stranger rescued me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93

You deserved it 485

Trapped

By Embarassed - 01/10/2025 22:00

Today, I wished my best friend a happy birthday with a long, heartfelt post on social media. Turns out her birthday is next week, she'd just set a trap by changing the date on her profile. I was so confident that I even added, “Finally remembered this year!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 187

You deserved it 366

My BFF

By Vicky - 12/10/2025 15:00

Today, I took my dog to the vet. He sat on my lap the whole car ride, licking my face and acting like my best friend. As soon as we got inside, he turned into a Tasmanian devil and pissed on my shoes, all while looking at me like I'd betrayed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 142

Not so smooth criminal

By Ughhhhhh - 14/10/2025 09:00

Today, I got burgled. Not only did he steal my TV and game consoles, but he took a huge diarrhea dump in my underwear drawer and wiped his ass with my tailored suit. The dry cleaner won't accept it because it's a biohazard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 558

You deserved it 64

Obsession

By Perfectionist - 20/10/2025 12:00

Today, it's been a week since I was supposed to be moved. I've had to work over because of network, data issues, and now a computation that's slightly off. The computation is optional, and there's no one at the federal office to even accept the report, but my stupid brain won't let me stop until it's fixed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 193

You deserved it 253

Why not both?

By Christine - 05/11/2025 09:00

Today, my 6 year-old daughter saw me putting on makeup and asked, “Mommy, are you trying to look less tired or more alive?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 357

You deserved it 121

Take the help you can get

By Anonymous - 07/11/2025 03:00

Today, I realized that no matter what kind of mental break, even just needing someone to vent to about night terrors and fears, my husband and mom will threaten to call a 72h psych hold on me if I so much as cry or be emotional at all. Then they'll forget me for two weeks and say "it's not a big deal." It makes someone want to die. FML

I agree, your life sucks 436

You deserved it 115

It's the most wonderful time of the year (nearly)

By Anonymous - 17/11/2025 22:00

Today, ever since the day we met, me and my wife haven’t cared about Xmas at all except for exchanging a few gifts. Well I don’t know what happened but I got home from work and she had bought £1800 worth of Xmas shit and decorated every room and the garden. In November. What? Why? FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 94

Safe travels

By Anonymous - 21/11/2025 12:00

Today, as I was traveling in Japan, out of boredom in the middle of the night, I downloaded a dating website and was cheated out of over 30,000 yuan, which was equivalent to my monthly salary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 106

You deserved it 623

Buzzed

By Head Cold - 07/12/2025 12:00

Today, after I watched my girlfriend get her head shaved in preparation for chemo a few days ago, I took the clippers and buzzed my long, well kept hair, gave her a loving hug, reminding her that, "We're at this together." She later broke up with me because I, pretty much, "look like shit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 566

You deserved it 117

Get back here

By JANES - 18/12/2025 03:00

Today, my senile grandad saw me and thought I was cutting class, so he pulled his belt off and came after me. While I was trying to get away, his pants fell off and he tripped over them. I'm now getting the blame for "making him have a fall". FML

I agree, your life sucks 441

You deserved it 73

I'm fine, I swear

By Duped - 06/01/2026 15:00

Today, I realized the reason my neighbor keeps smiling awkwardly at me is because I’ve been waving enthusiastically at their security camera every morning, thinking it was a motion-activated light. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 357

Nice try

By Not a thief!! - 11/01/2026 22:00

Today, I was grocery shopping and treated myself to fresh flowers. At self-checkout, I scanned everything, paid and left. An employee ran after me to ask if I’d paid for the flowers. I’d scanned them as bananas, paying 68 cents instead of $12. I awkwardly scuttled back inside to “fix it.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 105

You deserved it 545

Hot wheels

By Anne - 26/01/2026 03:00

Today, I went to a café that claimed to be fully accessible, as I use a mobility aid. The ramp was technically there but so steep, I needed help. Three strangers helped push me up while I apologized, laughed nervously, and tipped coffee onto myself at the top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 84

Dream house

By Anonymous - 29/01/2026 15:00

Today, my wife wanted more space, so we moved to a new house. I signed a more expensive one-year lease and went through a huge move. Everything would’ve been fine if she hadn’t broken up with me one month later. Now I’m trying to renegotiate the lease and sleeping on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 420

You deserved it 75

Hard work

By Maths - 02/02/2026 03:00

Today, I was helping my kid with homework after work. I tried to Google “third grade long division explained simply.” Autocomplete filled in “because I don’t understand it either,” which I read out loud without thinking. My kid stared at me and said, “So… who’s teaching who?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 117

You deserved it 366

Spice of life

By mustanggt - 11/02/2026 00:00

Today, I hit rock bottom. I waited too long to go to the grocery store and am out of almost everything. There's no salt left. What can I even cook to be edible without salt? FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 445

Brave

By Shyboy - 14/02/2026 15:00

Today, I worked up the courage to ask a question in a packed lecture hall. The professor repeated my question, except he'd misheard me and rephrased it into something wildly incorrect. The class laughed. Instead of correcting him, I nodded. Now half the class thinks I don’t understand the difference between correlation and causation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 152

You deserved it 261

Relaxed and chill

By Anonymous - 19/02/2026 22:00

Today, my husband walked in, lit a cigarette, burped, farted, opened two beers at once, then sat down in his armchair in his boxers to watch anime. My three best friends sat on the sofa thought it was hilarious while I was mortified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 443

You deserved it 110

Gross

By Anonymous - 21/02/2026 20:00

Today, I learned what my husband's "little side hustle" that he started is about. He's been using his gaming PC to generate disgusting AI porn movies with shit like monsters fucking women and other sick shit. It's like a sleazy Breaking Bad. Hope he enjoys the movies, because he's never getting sex again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 227

You deserved it 273

I mean, come on…

By Anonymous - 28/02/2026 22:00

Today, a friend is refusing to pay her final portion on the vacation we’ve been planning for over a year. She's met a new guy and he’s uncomfortable with her going on a girls' trip. We’ve been planning this trip longer than she’s known him and it’s too close to the date for us to get a full refund. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 52

Odd family

By Anonymous - 15/03/2026 03:00

Today, my wife demanded a divorce because I returned custody of my nieces and nephew to my brother, who has spent the last few years recovering from a horrible car accident. My wife wanted us to keep and adopt them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 535

You deserved it 75

LOL what?

By Anonymous - 20/03/2026 12:00

Today, I realized that even if I want to have cute fun and admit when I was wrong, I still get "adulting sucks, get over it" when I joke that I "don't wanna grow apart or up too fast that you don't need me." Jesus, I realized after that there's no such thing as real love anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 354

Secrets and lies

By Nicky - 27/03/2026 15:00

Today, my husband had a 'come to Jesus' moment where he confessed he has been lying to me our entire marriage about everything, from relationships with women I have suspected to what he ate for lunch. He does not know why he lies about the little things, he said he wants to "know something that you don't." FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 64

Sick

By Nicky - 31/03/2026 03:00

Today, my husband was sick so we ordered out and watched a baseball game. He dozed while I did chores and listened. Near the end of the game, I sat down with my phone to look at pics of the protests. He told me to put my phone down. He was furious. I "don't respect him" and I "make him feel small in our marriage." FML

I agree, your life sucks 532

You deserved it 77

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The Top

Today, I met an American guy at a bar. I felt flattered when he said, "You know what they say about Swedish girls, all so beautiful." After a pause, he filled in with, "What the fuck happened to you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 855

You deserved it 3 533

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend, when my upstairs neighbor decided to take the longest piss known to man. He moaned the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 707

You deserved it 4 846

Today, while at a psychiatric hospital working as a student nurse, I discovered one of the patients had developed an unhealthy obsession for me. He was admitted for stalking and abusing a girl who looked just like me. It's only my first week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 500

You deserved it 1 907

Today, I rear ended a cop while talking on my cell phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 605

You deserved it 91 227

Today, the entire back room of Walmart smelled like cat piss. No one else complained, as they all claimed they couldn’t smell a thing under their masks. I, on the other hand, have a headache and nausea from the overpowering scent despite my mask. FML

I agree, your life sucks 911

You deserved it 146

Today, I set up my phone to take a time-lapse video of the sunset. When I checked the footage later, all I saw was me running back and forth because I’d forgotten my keys and wallet multiple times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 187

You deserved it 489