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Bad start, bad end

By Sarah - 02/01/2026 00:00

Today, I was on holiday over the Christmas period and ended up with food poisoning. I spent most of the time on the toilet. I think I’ll stay home next time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 63

Scap

By Anonymous - 02/02/2026 22:00

Today, my mum got annoyed and screamed that I should appreciate her more, all because I had to get my car scrapped and wouldn't let her friend who'd offered me 100 pounds less than another scrapper. I'm broke and we're in a cost of living crisis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 64

Communication breakdown

By Anonymous - 10/02/2026 00:00

Today, I had to take my life into my hands and tell my wife that when she was yelling at me earlier, she was yelling at me in her own language, which I’m still not fluent in, so whatever it was that upset her, I still haven’t fixed it because I didn’t understand the instructions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 454

You deserved it 111

Good neighbors

By S. from 45B - 13/02/2026 15:00

Today, I moved into a new place. I wanted to be a good neighbor so I baked banana bread and knocked on the door across the hall. The woman looked terrified, said “No thank you,” and closed the door. Building security later asked why I was “soliciting food.” Turns out there’s been a string of fake delivery scams in the building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 66

How romantic!

By Anonymous - 15/02/2026 09:00

Today, it’s Valentine’s Day. My boyfriend promised me that instead of a packed chain restaurant we would have “dinner under the stars.” We ended up having Slurpees and Slim Jims in the 7-Eleven parking lot. He called me ungrateful for not appreciating his “romantic gesture.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 406

You deserved it 159

Sad boat

By Anonymous - 22/02/2026 15:00

Today, my best friend died in a car accident. I'm currently on a cruise with my family and my parents refuse to pay for me to go home early, which means I'm likely going to miss the funeral. FML

I agree, your life sucks 594

You deserved it 86

Bad week

By Anonymous - 26/02/2026 03:00

Today, just a little bit after midnight, my mom sends a Facebook post saying my stepdad is in the ER and is unable to walk. I'm a night owl, which was why I was up. This is after the rest of my family went to bed due to being sick with the new flu variant days ago. It seems like this week is just bad luck for my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 61

Cruise away

By Anonymous - 03/03/2026 12:00

Today, my mom booked my family a $250 spot for a dinner cruise. I'm a type 1 diabetic in diabetic ketoacidosis. I told her that I needed to go to the hospital as this could kill me. Her response? "WHAT ABOUT THE $250 I PAID FOR THE CRUISE?!" I guess she cares more about the money than the fact I might die. Thanks mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 81

Have a nice flight?

By anonymous mom - 08/04/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I took my toddler on a flight alone for the first time. I packed snacks, toys, everything. Thirty minutes after takeoff, he threw his juice straight onto my lap, then screamed for the exact snack I'd forgotten. The passenger next to me offered tissues and said, “First time?” I nodded, covered in sticky apple juice, for the next two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 167

Teacher bust out the sad smiley face

By Anonymous - 10/04/2026 00:00 - United States - Belmont

Today, I got my multivariable calc final back, only to realize that the ten points I got off was for putting 10 + 15 = 35 on a problem. My teacher wrote ten question marks and “No???? 25???? :(“ next to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 390

Who is this and what do you want?

By Anonymous - 19/04/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, out of nowhere, several spam calls started calling my cellphone number. Every single one of them about health insurance. I didn't know why they were calling me or how they got my number. After a bit of questioning, it turns out my dumb dad used my name and cellphone number while trying to look for info. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375

You deserved it 72

Faux pas

By Awkward - 20/04/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, visiting my partner’s family for the first time, I offered to help cook, saying I could chop the vegetables. Five minutes later, I nicked my finger, dropped the knife, and instinctively said a very loud curse word in front of their very traditional grandparents. Everyone froze while someone went to get me a bandage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 283

You deserved it 166

They grow up so fast

By NoGrandkids - 06/05/2026 20:00 - Germany - Berlin

Today, my daughter said she would never ever have kids because then she'll bleed through her vagina or get stitches on her stomach. She turned 7 last week and learnt this at school from friends. I'm yet to have the "periods" talk with her. Now I'm scared to start it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 100

Get back here

By Ubermensch - 10/05/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, I picked up a passenger from the airport who insisted he was late. Drove fast, dropped him off, felt efficient, then noticed his phone on the back seat. After circling trying to find him, I ended up back at the airport, where he was waiting because I’d taken him to the wrong terminal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 128

You deserved it 325

Outside is bad

By Anonymous - 12/05/2026 03:00 - United States - Wheeling

Today, I went outside for the first time in a week and ended up tripping over something, busting my lip and nose, and breaking a tooth. I ran away in a dazed and confused panic while dropping all my stuff. Not going outside again for a while. FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 154

Wake up call

By Anonymous - 22/05/2026 20:00 - United States - Atlanta

Today, as I was trying to fall asleep, I was jolted awake by my oldest cat who'd decided it would be perfect to power-puke all over my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 298

You deserved it 87

Just swallow it

By Crazy kid - 18/06/2026 15:00 - United States - Yuba City

Today, I was in class when I coughed up so much snot inside my mouth. It was so gross, I couldn’t talk. I raised my hand to go over to the sink to spit it out but I couldn’t talk and he didn’t understand, so I just got up and walked over. A few kids in the back saw me do it and said, "Ewwww." Everyone stared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 280

You deserved it 105

Some more news

By Anonymous - 22/06/2026 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he thought about having kids and, without a pause, he went, “Ew, no thanks.” I’m pretty sure I’m six weeks pregnant so, yeah… FML

I agree, your life sucks 175

You deserved it 403

Noise annoys

By Stacey02 - 23/06/2026 22:00 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, a quiet afternoon at the library turned stressful when my phone started blasting music. Every attempt to silence it somehow increased the volume. After seconds of panic, I realised the sound wasn't coming from my phone. It was a kid's toy buried somewhere in my backpack after a visit from my niece. The reading room people still glared at me like I did it on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 266

You deserved it 79

Undisclosed annoyance

By Hdbelle - 13/07/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I waited on hold with an undisclosed government office for nearly two and a half hours, sitting through 45 minutes of Terms and Conditions, only for the clerk to finally answer, say “Hello” once, and then hang up on me before I could even respond. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 92

Urbex is risky stuff

By Curiosity nearly killed me - 18/07/2025 12:00 - Netherlands - Amsterdam

Today, I was riding my bike when I passed a derelict house that recently burned. Curious, I dismounted and went inside. I stepped on a nail, and while I was staggering in agony, I hit a weak spot in the floor and broke my other leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 791

Mucky

By Anonymous - 30/07/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I made a protein shake at the gym. I somehow didn't screw the lid on tight enough, so when I took one huge gulp, the shake exploded all over my face, shirt, and the gym mirror. Now I look like I lost a fight with a chocolate milkshake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 150

You deserved it 377

Lactose intolerant

By ClintBEASTw00d - 19/08/2025 12:00 - Canada - Surrey

Today, at the gym, I attempted to deadlift after binge eating ice cream last night. I need new underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 545

Hair care

By Anonymous - 28/08/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, after spending a week detangling my hair (It took a week because my hands have nerve issues) because it felt like my scalp was glued to my scalp from not being taken care of, I cut it all off. My hair got tangled in the device twice and eventually revealed a burn on my scalp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 111

Long day, long ride home

By Jennette - 13/09/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I fell asleep on the train after a long day. I woke up to find that I’d been drooling onto the shoulder of the stranger next to me for at least three stops. He said nothing, but when I stood up, there was a wet patch shaped like my face on his sleeve. FML

I agree, your life sucks 281

You deserved it 108

Burger, everything burger

By HANGRYGAL - 15/09/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I went through a drive-thru and ordered enough food for three people. The cashier asked if I needed extra napkins “for the group.” I panicked and said, “Yes, for the kids in the back.” There are no kids. Just me, alone, eating like a human trash compactor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 452

Oh no…

By Nervous - 02/10/2025 22:00

Today, a woman told me she liked my shoes. My social anxiety peaked so I panicked and said, “You too!” She wasn’t wearing shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 247

You deserved it 146

Hero

By Anonymous - 13/10/2025 15:00

Today, I saw a guy struggling with weights at the gym so I tried to help. I grabbed one side of the barbell to “steady” it and instantly realized it weighed about as much as a fridge. I dropped it, tripped over the bench, and took out a water bottle display. He just said, “Thanks, hero.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 402

Small talk hell

By Kellie - 06/11/2025 09:00

Today, I told my boss her new haircut made her look younger. She smiled and said, “Oh, thank you!” I tried to double down on the compliment and said, “Yeah, like... 20 years ago younger!” She stopped smiling. It turns out that would’ve made her twelve. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 522

Classic

By Mortified - 09/11/2025 22:00

Today, I tried to secretly take a photo of a cute guy on the train. I forgot my flash was on. He looked straight at me, smirked, and said, “If you wanted my picture, you could’ve just asked.” I got off three stops early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 559

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The Top

Today, I told my girlfriend over MSN that we had to talk. I log on to facebook and the first thing I see is that she changed our relationship from "In a Relationship" to "It's Complicated." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 649

You deserved it 11 488

Today, I got a call from my child's preschool saying that "Mindy keeps saying she sits on her daddy's lap and plays with his peter." My daughter meant 'puter, as in computer. Now the school is worried my husband is a child molester. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 170

You deserved it 3 194

Today, my husband used the vacuum cleaner. Proud of him for this first-ever initiative, I congratulated him. His second initiative was to stick the nozzle on my ass, yelling, "Liposuction!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 035

You deserved it 5 583

Today, I was in line at a checkout. I have quite a few facial piercings and 1/2" gauges in my ears. The very heavy cashier asks how big my gauges are and then starts telling me about how she recently got her clitoris pierced and how sometimes she has orgasms behind the register. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 249

You deserved it 13 729

Today, on the one-year anniversary of my best friend committing suicide, my boyfriend of 2 years decides to dump me because he wants to focus on his skateboarding career. He doesn't even know how to skateboard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 394

You deserved it 223

Today, I was told I was disrespectful for letting a parent know that her son was disrespecting adults. FML

I agree, your life sucks 923

You deserved it 82