The Top

Yeah this was in June. - SORRY! I tried to submit it earlier this year, but it wouldn't work. And my parent's cuss around me. A lot. lol. Oh and did I forget to mention? My mom's the one who dragged me to the auditions. And he came up to me AFTER.

Self report

By banana12321 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Fresno

Today, I thought I had gotten away with throwing a party while my folks were gone the night before. They came home and I was as sweet as possible. I could tell they were not buying it, but I thought I was in the clear. Later, they told me I had drunk-dialled them and spilled the beans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 269

You deserved it 30 969

Support system error

By PissedAtLife - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was invited to a counseling group for people with emotional problems. I brought the permission slip home for my mom to sign, only for her to accuse me of being a hypochondriacal, lazy, selfish bitch. And my friends wonder why I have problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 795

You deserved it 3 330

That went well

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff

Today, I tried to stage an intervention for a friend who abuses drugs. I ended up with my hair on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 987

You deserved it 4 377

By blegh - 16/01/2009 04:57 - Switzerland

Today, I reached for my beer and took a huge swallow before I realized that I had picked up my friend's tobacco spit cup. "Vomit" is not a strong enough word to describe what happened next. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 871

You deserved it 6 283

Why not?

By Anonymous - 02/01/2009 15:53 - France

Today, my girlfriend confessed to me that she wants to dress me up in her clothes, with a wig and makeup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 285

You deserved it 5 570

By Anonymous - 29/09/2013 17:23 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, a girl who's in charge of a group project that I get graded on, asked if Bill Gates was a Founding Father. She was totally serious. I'm screwed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 445

You deserved it 2 886

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, a guy came to install a modem in my apartment. He needed to get to the jack behind my TV stand, so I helped him move it. Once the stand was moved, I saw a used condom that was hidden underneath. My cat must have pulled it out of my garbage weeks ago. There's no way the guy didn't see it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 509

You deserved it 3 850

Today, I found out my boyfriend cheated on me with his boss so he could get a promotion and "provide" for us. This from the guy who made me quit my job because he said he made enough money to support us both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 789

You deserved it 3 830

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. We were feeling a little naughty, so we started talking dirty. I was really into describing a sweaty sex scene, when I heard my dad cough. He had picked up the other house phone to make a call, and had heard it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 760

You deserved it 78 387

Today, I went to get an MRI for preventive care. The diagnosis was great, but I ended up having complications with the contrast, so now I have terrible muscle pain and have to see more doctors. I have mixed feelings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 667

You deserved it 113

Today, I was in a serious meeting with my boss and a client when I remembered a dumb meme my friend sent me last night. I couldn’t stop myself from snorting. Everyone stopped and looked at me. My boss said, “Is something funny?” Nope. Not anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 528

Today, at my godmother's funeral, I got a panic attack causing explosive diarrhea. After the service, I ran to the bathroom and absolutely nuked it. I heard everyone outside calling for me so I quickly flushed the toilet and it struggled. So I flushed again. I left that bathroom with two inches of water on the floor and rising. FML

I agree, your life sucks 312

You deserved it 109