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By anon - 31/07/2014 03:12 - Canada - Goderich

Today, my father tripped over the dog and hit a wall. He was so convinced his arm was broken that we waited for 3 hours in emergency to find out he had a bruise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 811

You deserved it 3 449

By lifeguard down - 01/08/2010 04:23 - United States

Today, while at work I tripped and fell in the pool while moving a waste basket. I nearly drowned and had to be saved. I don't know which is worse the fact that I nearly drowned or the fact that I'm a lifeguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 729

You deserved it 13 333

By Anonymous - 29/03/2014 03:02 - Canada - Rosthern

Today, while at work, I went to unlock the washroom for a customer. Normally we don't allow customers to use the staff washrooms, so I was as surprised as the guy I found sitting on the toilet when I opened the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 254

You deserved it 4 162

By argh - 20/03/2012 08:16 - United States - Houston

Today, I woke up to the faint memory of being drunk enough to draw dicks on my own face in permanent marker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 114

You deserved it 33 511

By alaina2001 - 07/05/2015 22:22 - United States - Massillon

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because someone asked him if we were dating and he lied and said no. He said he didn't want to be a liar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 548

You deserved it 2 698

By whoneedsdumbcars - 14/08/2009 08:29 - United States

Today, at a restaurant, I noticed a really hot girl leaving with her friend. A few minutes later they came back, laughing uncontrollably, and announced that some moron forgot to put on their parking brake and the car was rolling into the full parking lot. It was my car. They watched me chase it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 396

You deserved it 39 769

By Anonymous - 24/02/2011 08:56 - United States

Today, my boyfriend snuck into my house and hid in my closet. Knowing that I have a phobia of people jumping out of closets, he nonetheless thought it would be funny to see how I'd react. I had a panic attack and was taken to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 339

You deserved it 6 862

By cs - 13/02/2011 02:21 - United States

Today, the snowblower found my lost phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 809

You deserved it 4 983

By gali-ma - 07/02/2015 12:52 - Australia

Today, I posted a photo on Facebook of me at a club with some friends. The first comment it got was "Just got a stiffy. 10/10." Thanks for that, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 570

You deserved it 3 626

By derve - 07/11/2012 23:48 - United States

Today, as my girlfriend and I were finishing up a romantic dinner, she gazed into my eyes for a moment and said, "You know, sometimes you look like a character from Sesame Street." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 247

You deserved it 2 181

By Anonymous - 05/08/2013 21:36 - Sweden - Falun

Today, my mom's dog saw a cat in our yard. I watched as he tried to jump at it, only to smack face-first into the window. He did this twice more before curling up on the floor and whimpering pitifully. When my mom came in and saw him there, and me laughing, she accused me of beating him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 746

You deserved it 7 337

By xRyu - 09/10/2014 00:30 - United States - Denver

Today, I found out via a voicemail from my boss that my hours are being cut. He said, "They said I can't fire you, so you'll only be getting 20 hours a week. Starting today." Who'd they give my other 20 hours to? The one person that calls off sick almost daily and is never on time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 251

You deserved it 2 850

By stinky skunk - 05/09/2011 04:04 - Canada

Today, my dog ran away. It was dark, so I couldn't see very well, but I ran after him anyway. Thinking I had caught up to him, I grabbed him. It wasn't my dog. It was a skunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 719

You deserved it 6 208

By Anonymous - 22/05/2013 05:38 - United States - Livingston

Today, due to my allergies I can't stop sneezing. It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for my hemorrhoids making each sneeze feel like I'm getting a cactus shoved up my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 220

You deserved it 3 869

By I'm donnnneeee - 21/09/2015 03:26 - United States - Slidell

Today, I finished a 6-part project. It took me 7 hours of straight work because my partner decided I should do it alone. I then learned that the reason my partner did not help me was because the teacher e-mailed the leader of every group, saying the project was cancelled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 618

You deserved it 2 442

You should see someone

By HereForJAMMF - 09/11/2016 17:50

Today, I've actually developed a crush on a guy I never intended to crush on, and also can't have. For one he's married and utterly devoted to his wife. And even if that weren't true, he's so far out of my league I need binoculars to see him. And to top it all of? He's fictional. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 415

You deserved it 6 338

By honeynuggetviolin - 01/05/2013 00:31

Today, I spent hours playing my guitar and singing in the street, hoping to make some extra cash. About 3 hours in, I realized some punk had been walking around with a hat taking money as if he was with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 989

You deserved it 5 749

By so_this_is_me - 13/08/2015 17:12 - Canada - Brampton

Today, my love life is so pathetic that when I got a sample of cologne in the mail, I kept sniffing it just to remind myself what a guy smells like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 867

You deserved it 3 561

Lil Tooth

By randomusername99 - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I got a new dentist. You know how most dentists play soft, relaxing music? Well this guy seems to like rap a lot, and it's kinda hard getting your teeth cleaned to the sound of bullets going off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 232

You deserved it 4 844

By taylorbrown97 - 07/06/2015 19:05 - United States - Mount Vernon

Today, a customer called the Chinese restaurant where I work and complained about her takeout order not including donuts. After informing her that we don't have them, she started to curse at me while citing the website as proof. She thought wontons were synonymous with donuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 875

You deserved it 1 641

taylorbrown97 tells us more.

taylorbrown97 23

Monday 8 June 2015 20:39

Hi guys, OP here! To clarify, by donuts she meant those "Chinese" sugar donuts that you can get at cheap buffets (at least where I live, in rural Ohio). Instead, we are relatively more of a high end Chinese restaurant, a family owned place that could be compared to PF Changs. So there is no way we would have those cheap donuts anyways! But for whatever reason she thought that fried wontons were the same things as those fried sugar donuts. She was incredibly upset and basically demanded that we give her the fried donuts that we supposedly offered on our website. Basically, working as a server/host in a restaurant is fun when you get to deal with unreasonable people! Thanks for the publish!