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Bummed out

By Anonymous - 26/09/2023 10:00 - United States - Steubenville

Today, I finally decided to open up to my supervisor about my horrible depression. I was crying my eyes out in her office when she announced that she had to leave and go to a meeting, leaving me to cry alone in her office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 569

You deserved it 406

Playing the long game

By Anonymous - 24/04/2021 17:01 - Canada - Stoney Creek

Today, after 9 years of loveless marriage, my wife confided in me that she was always an introvert and depressed person, but pretended to be outgoing and fun loving with me up until our marriage, so she could marry me just to lift herself up from low class to high class society. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 356

You deserved it 138

Lost in translation

By Anonymous - 20/06/2022 22:00

Today, my girlfriend got a sexy new tattoo as a surprise for me. It’s on her boob in Japanese, next to a pair of sexy lips, and she claims it says "Oral Queen." I'm fluent in Japanese so I wish she'd asked for my help first, because it actually translates to "Mouth Ruler" which is not sexy at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 012

You deserved it 252

Halved

By Anonymous - 04/09/2019 14:00

Today, I went to the hair salon to get a fresh trim before receiving my master's diploma. The hairdresser managed to shave off half my eyebrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 655

You deserved it 121

Make your mind up

By Anonymous - 07/05/2021 22:00

Today, my ex was talking about getting back together. I say I’d be willing to talk and ask him to explain what he wants from me, to see if there’s any common ground, but he replied, "I just mention something and you immediately attack me with this emo crap! I already regret even thinking about it!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 947

You deserved it 189

Funny how?

By WTF, Mom?? - 13/10/2023 09:00 - United States - Collegeville

Today, one of my coworkers decided it'd be funny to tell our boss that I made creepy comments about his teenage daughter. The worst part is that the aforementioned lying coworker is my mother. I wish I was joking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 850

You deserved it 118

Don't know, don't care

By Anonymous - 30/06/2022 00:00

Today, I called my mom to let her know that my father, her ex-husband, suffered a series of mini strokes. Her reply was essentially, "Oh that sucks. Are you still taking your grandmother to lunch sometime this week?" Dad lives halfway across the country. FML

I agree, your life sucks 786

You deserved it 179

Hidden

By fml9124 - 20/09/2019 14:00

Today, I saw a scorpion crawling across the kitchen floor. While trying to swat it towards the middle of the floor to prevent it from escaping as I looked for something to kill it with, my cat came to investigate. Kitty thought I was playing with a new toy and joined in by batting the scorpion under the oven. I know it's plotting its revenge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 394

You deserved it 186

What have been up to?

By Middle Age Divorced Dad - 29/07/2022 22:00 - Canada - Kanata

Today, while picking up one of my older kids from school, I started talking to another parent. He commented that it had been quite a year in the kindergarten, because every day his kids come home telling stories about two girls, Hannah and Pi, and all the things they did that day. Hannah is my daughter, Pi is her nickname. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 218

In the bag!

By hiccups - 16/05/2021 14:02

Today, I had a job interview. I thought it was going pretty well, until I got the hiccups. The interviewer immediately said, "Yeah, I think we’re done here," and sent me away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 116

You deserved it 93

The birds and the bees

By Anonymous - 04/08/2022 18:00

Today, I was having the "sex talk" with my mom because I really want to have sex with my boyfriend. My dad overheard us and is sulking. The only reason he hasn’t said anything like, “I’ll kill the boy” or, “Not until you’re married” is because he’s scared of my mom. Now everything is awkward at home FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 131

You deserved it 330

Great party

By Anonymous - 05/05/2025 22:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I attended a party, thinking it was hosted by my friend. I showed up, mingled, had some drinks, and even played a couple of games. After about an hour, my friend called me and asked where I was. I'd crashed the wrong party. Everyone there was nice about it, but now I can never show my face there again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 212

Dream baby dream

By lani - 24/05/2021 00:00

Today, and since I decided to cut back on unhealthy foods, my last five dreams were literally just slideshows of junk food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 803

You deserved it 137

Check your closets, folks

By Spooked - 19/11/2023 04:00 - United States

Today, I was woken up in the middle of the night by an alarm on my phone going off. Thinking it was warning me of an incoming weather emergency, I checked it. It was a Silver Alert near me. Why wake me up for this? FML

I agree, your life sucks 169

You deserved it 502

Stop talking, stop talking now

By Anonymous - 03/08/2022 18:00

Today, I abandoned my wife at a family party when her sister's husband cornered me and began telling me about his amputee fetish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 315

You deserved it 197

Weird family

By Anonymous - 31/05/2021 17:01 - United States - Bettendorf

Today, I found a picture on my phone of me and my best friend that I didn't take. Turns out my dad did, from behind, and it got onto my Google photo backup, which means that he was logged in to my Gmail from his phone when he did it. And my family wonders why I don't trust them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 098

You deserved it 129

Intervention

By Anonymous - 31/05/2021 02:01

Today, my sister got in a screaming argument with my girlfriend, who then dumped me. My whole family started celebrating. Apparently, they staged the argument to get rid of her because no one liked her, and I should be grateful they did me such a big favor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 414

You deserved it 218

Sticky fingers

By FlickedOff 2023 - 01/12/2023 06:00

Today, my FWB and I were on a road trip. His dumbass got us pulled over by the cops, and he decided it was the perfect moment to start fingering me. Worse yet, I got off in between visits from the cop. He took his license and ticket with his fingering hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 174

You deserved it 654

Perfectionist

By Carlweezer5296 - 31/05/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I was working on a middle school project that needed to be at a 900 percent or above, this being my math level. I take a 8th grade algebra class so I needed mine to well be a 900, and after months of working I'd got it there. I got one answer wrong and it sent me to 860, where I’ve been for the last 12 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 298

You deserved it 133

Mom of the week

By please come home - 30/11/2023 22:00 - United States

Today, my son spilled his milk at the table. My wife got in his face and screamed that he took her body, her career, her friends, and her life from her, then stormed out of the house. He won't stop wailing and crying, she won't answer her phone, and I'm completely shattered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 016

You deserved it 239

Getting on

By Anonymous - 11/06/2021 05:59

Today, after much measuring with a tape measure, comparing with my sisters and even asking my husband for his opinion, I'm forced to admit that without a bra on, my boobs now sag so much my nipples hang down to the level of my belly button. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 000

You deserved it 134

Don't look

By Anonymous - 10/06/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I realized I had accidentally swapped phones with my coworker. She now has access to my search history, which includes: "Can cats sense shame?", "Is it OK to eat expired hummus?" and “Why do I hate my coworkers so much?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 434

US healthcare is ****** up

By Teethsuck - 18/08/2022 16:00 - United States - North Pole

Today, I went to the dentist two years after having a front tooth knocked out because I could finally (barely) afford the $4000 bill for an implant. They checked me out and told me that my teeth have shifted to the point that I’ll need braces before receiving an implant, for another $4k bill. I’m sick of looking like a hick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 998

You deserved it 129

Bunch of amateurs

By Anonymous - 14/12/2023 09:00 - Australia - Wacol

Today, I got my 9 year-old daughter back from a sleepover at my mum's. My 17 year-old niece was also staying there at the same time, and heard my daughter complaining that her fringe was in her eyes. My niece decided to cut my daughter's hair. There are now chunks missing and it's all uneven. No one asked my permission. FML

I agree, your life sucks 490

You deserved it 175

The bloat

By Oral fixation maybe? - 15/06/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I realized I need to cut back on drinking. Not booze, but water. I compulsively drink so much water that my body is bloated from water absorption and I have to pee constantly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 157

You deserved it 302

Under pressure

By Anonymous - 16/06/2021 03:59

Today, I became aroused when slight pressure was applied to my throat. I was having an ultrasound done to have my thyroid gland and a lump under my chin looked at by an old male doctor. My mom was present. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 044

You deserved it 175

Odd choice

By Anonymous - 22/08/2022 16:00

Today, I put "Jesus Christ" as a reference on an application, because all the fields needed to be filled in order for the submission to go through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 619

You deserved it 481

A day to remember

By Disappointed - 16/12/2023 22:00 - United States - Piscataway

Today, I arrived at my best friend's wedding and found out that my invitation was no longer valid. His brother tried to explain that they'd decided to make the ceremony for family members only, then two our classmates popped out to say hello. They're not related, neither to my friend nor to his fiancée. FML

I agree, your life sucks 680

You deserved it 129

Never annoy the driver

By Anonymous - 26/08/2022 14:00

Today, my husband went to pick my mom up from the airport, but apparently they got in one of their arguments on the way home, so he dumped her at a Starbucks and came home without her. He won’t even tell me which Starbucks, and when I rang her she gave useless directions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 207

You deserved it 304

Interested parties

By Anonymous - 20/12/2023 06:00 - Canada - Mont-Saint-Hilaire

Today, one of my guy friends, who I’m not interested in romantically, asked me out on a date. This is the third time a "friend" has asked me out on a date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 552

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The Top

Today, my mother told me she thinks it is time for me to move into my own place. I agreed with her and went to look at studios/flats online. She later came into my room, saw me looking at places and then got pissed off at me, saying that I hate her for wanting to leave her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 312

You deserved it 702

Today, I fell asleep for an hour in the bathroom while taking a dump. I had to convince everyone I went for a walk during lunch since no one saw my car leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 985

You deserved it 25 479

Today, my mother tried to have a conversation with me. While she was taking a piss. With the bathroom door wide open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 012

You deserved it 4 879

Today, while I was running in a cross country meet, a bug flew into my right eye. Then, a bug flew into my left eye. Not wanting to lose a neck-and-neck sprint, I tried to run blind. I hit a pole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 618

You deserved it 8 946

Today, I was walking on the boardwalk with my mom when an old man came up and asked me to marry him. He promised he would buy me a Mercedes if I did. The man was homeless and delusional. My mom told me I should take the offer because it would be the best offer I could get. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 793

You deserved it 3 233

Today, while reorganising my very extensive book collection, I found my 16th century Bible had about 15 pages glued together with what I suspect is 30 year-old raspberry jam. My son might be 36 years-old now but he’s going to get it when I see him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 168

You deserved it 383