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Leave me alone!

By Can I have some sleep? - 14/11/2024 12:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I texted my mom and had to explain to her that calling me repeatedly at 2 a.m. because you're bored and want to talk is not really a good idea. Seriously, nothing happened, she just wanted to chat because she had nothing else to do. Her response to my message? She started calling me again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 456

You deserved it 98

Latergram

By Anonymous - 21/06/2023 10:00

Today, I made it halfway through saying "Happy Father's Day" before he interrupted to send me to do an unimportant chore. When I finished, he’d opened the beer I'd bought him, despite it being 7:30am, but he was convinced it was a bribe because I wanted something from him. I don’t know why I bother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 851

You deserved it 111

What is this?

By Anonymous - 01/07/2026 03:00 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, I sent my ex nudes and then asked him if he saved them, only for him to reply with, "Nah, they weren't nude enough." Mind you, he cheated on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 425

Nice catching up with you

By Anonymous - 05/05/2022 16:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I messaged a crush (it was mutual and we adored each other) from five years ago, just to talk. He seemed happy and we had a good convo talking about how our lives have changed, until he said, “Uh I seriously don’t remember you though, lol. Thanks for the follow, though”. then left me on seen and unfollowed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 854

You deserved it 202

Not that into you

By Anonymous - 27/06/2023 12:00

Today, my girlfriend won’t give me oral because she doesn't like pubes, so I trimmed them; she refused again because they felt prickly, so I waxed them. Now she says I look like a little boy. If she doesn’t want to suck cock, why won’t she just say so instead of hinting she might if I shaved? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 366

You deserved it 421

What?

By Anonymous - 01/12/2024 03:00

Today, my daughter got home from her first date, angry at me because I scared her date so much that he left halfway through. I swear I didn’t do anything except shake his hand and remind him her curfew is 10pm. Am I in the wrong here? FML

I agree, your life sucks 536

You deserved it 136

Fill her up

By Anonymous - 03/02/2021 19:55

Today, I'm nearly done with my cortisol treatment for a persistent multi-day migraine. Good news: it actually stopped for the last two blissful, pain-free days. Bad news: apparently anything less than the maximum dose of cortisol doesn't prevent me from getting a new migraine. Here we go again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 901

You deserved it 86

Or does he?

By Anonymous - 09/02/2021 00:30

Today, I read a message from someone on Instagram asking if I wanted to "hook up with a nice guy sometime." It was my uncle – he doesn't recognize his own family before messaging them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 102

You deserved it 75

When there's a will, there's a way

By Anonymous - 18/12/2024 09:00

Today, we needed a new TV after our old one died. My husband decided to splurge and ordered a 110 inch TV. It just got delivered and my husband now knows just how big 110 inches is. There is no wall in our house this thing will fit on, and the returns process is crazy complicated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 183

What have you done now?

By Anonymous - 19/07/2023 03:00

Today, my dad was sat on my laptop in the living room trying to learn how to do some rewiring around the house when he, and I quote, ”clicked on the thing.” My laptop is now riddled with so many viruses it’s basically a house brick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 743

You deserved it 151

Don't judge a book by its reader

By Anonymous - 20/12/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I made the mistake of uttering the phrase "I’m not like other girls" at work when discussing how I prefer staying in and reading over going out to a bar. Now none of the other girls in the office will talk to me and are calling me a "pick-me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 164

You deserved it 764

Survivalist

By John Johnson - 10/04/2022 02:00

Today, a friend moved into my new house. He was a great roommate years ago, but COVID seems to have driven him mad. He brought a huge stockpile of non-perishable food, and keeps talking about "fortifying" the house. He's trying to build a composting outhouse right now. Send help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 917

You deserved it 235

Unforgettable

By Anonymous - 05/05/2022 12:00 - United Kingdom - Cambridge

Today, I got asked, “And you are…?” by a senior colleague while in a morning meeting at work. I’ve been working here for 3 months and I've already introduced myself multiple times to them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 876

You deserved it 123

Betrayal #4474

By Anonymous - 10/01/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I discovered that all the times my boyfriend says he's in the bathroom with horrible diarrhea, he's actually sitting there smoking crack and talking to other women. I've dedicated everything in my life to him. I feel so brokenhearted and defeated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 746

You deserved it 180

By Pierced - 30/05/2017 18:00

Today, my mother accused me of getting another lip piercing done on the sly to spite her. She finally realised I have more than one and won't believe I've always had two. Thanks for noticing, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 134

You deserved it 449

The X factor

By May need earplugs - 05/08/2023 08:00 - United States

Today, my roommate sings in his room a lot. He has a horrible singing voice, but his dog trying to harmonize with him by howling at the top of its lungs makes it even more unbearable. Worst duet performance ever. And he does it every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 729

You deserved it 134

Nice guy

By Anonymous - 08/05/2022 06:00 - United States

Today, my friend fixed me up with a guy from her workplace. I'm painfully shy, so I really appreciated it and was looking forward to meeting him, since she described him as very sweet. Once the date got started, he continuously made fun of my speech impediment, until I finally left in tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 581

You deserved it 127

Waterworks

By Anonymous - 18/01/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I took an allergy skin test and turns out I’m allergic to dogs. Three weeks ago, I adopted a new puppy to help with my depression, but within a few days I was coughing, sneezing, and having watery eyes. I’ve previously had a dog for 10 years and I was never allergic to it. I don’t wanna give the new one up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 481

You deserved it 97

Do you guys even talk to one another?

By Anonymous - 14/08/2023 18:00

Today, my wife pretended she was going to suck my knob, but then bit it so hard she drew blood. Apparently, she saw the texts from my “girlfriend”. The texts were actually from our elderly neighbour, who asked me to feed her cat while she visited her daughter. She thought “feed my cat” meant "illicit sex." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 105

You deserved it 127

Too passionate for me

By Mutton - 08/03/2021 17:01

Today, during one of my wife’s very infrequent amorous moments, she headbutted me and split one of my front teeth in half. I now have two teeth where there used to be one, and I can see the exposed nerve in the crack. Yes, it’s as excruciating as it sounds FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 458

You deserved it 116

Confused?

By UghIgiveup - 18/08/2023 04:00

Today, the new person that I was supposed to train didn't show up for the second time in a row. They only had one session with me, and nobody is able to tell me what I'm doing wrong. This is the third time in two years. I give up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 539

You deserved it 119

To each their own

By Anonymous - 30/04/2022 04:00 - United States - Omaha

Today, I messaged my two best friends for emotional support. I don't normally do this, as I feel like I'm bothering people, but I was having a breakdown. One never replied; the other said, "Everyone is having a hard time" then talked about her own problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 992

You deserved it 158

Always check for ****

By Anistoncole - 13/03/2021 20:01

Today, I was showing why we picked the colour in our posters and ads for my department. I used a video to explain; I hadn't watched the full video. I skipped to halfway through and there was a picture of a naked woman with starfish on her tits. Everyone kinda went silent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 274

You deserved it 1 319

How the other half lives

By Anonymous - 03/09/2023 04:00

Today, it's been a year since my divorce. My deadbeat bipolar ex-wife is on her third boyfriend. I'm raising both our kids solo and, despite trying, have not even been able to land a single date since we seperated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 746

You deserved it 125

You do you

By JesstheMess - 22/02/2025 00:00 - United States - Albertville

Today, dieting is making me depressed and I'm so hungry. I don't even care about losing weight, but my boyfriend is and he's doing a low fat diet with me for my health, so I'm going to do the low calorie thing with him. I also feel like I'm not doing well enough in the gym and it's hurting so bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 212

Unhealthy

By Anonymous - 10/09/2023 04:00 - United States

Today, I realized that for 31 years I have been defending our children to their father. Our oldest is 31. FML

I agree, your life sucks 500

You deserved it 228

First time?

By Anonymous - 23/02/2025 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I had such a realistic dream that I was about to be hanged by the neck until I was dead. I was dropped through the hole and I felt the noose snap my neck at the exact moment I woke up. I ended up crying in my wife’s arms for a solid five minutes. Now I’m afraid to sleep, maybe forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 529

You deserved it 131

By misi - 22/06/2019 16:00

Today, my mother threw a fit because the psychologist she got me suggested I visit a psychiatrist. Apparently, it's my fault because I "choose" to be so "crazy". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 778

You deserved it 135

Feral baby

By sad cat owner - 26/02/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I had to make the difficult decision to get rid of my cat. He's terrible around unfamiliar people and always attacks them on sight, completely unprovoked. He even does this to my niece, who isn't even a year old. Still, he's such a sweetie despite his lack of people skills, so I feel like shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 277

Help!

By Krissy - 01/04/2021 19:59

Today, at work on the front desk at a dental office, there was a massive system glitch. I'm now currently recreating appointments for around 300 patients, on top of checking out the patients that are currently in today from their appointments. FML

I agree, your life sucks 916

You deserved it 67

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The Top

Today, me and my dad were in a sort of prank war. I decided to get him back for one last time tonight, so I hid in his office to scare him. This would have been okay had I not caught him watching porn. I had to hide for an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 181

You deserved it 3 858

Today, while at my boyfriend's house, I needed to use the bathroom. I decided to be a good girlfriend and leave the seat up for him. He later yelled at me for not putting the seat down because he needed to take a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 989

You deserved it 8 911

Today, I was discharged from the hospital after having scrotal surgery. When I got home, the anesthetic had worn off, but I felt okay. Then my dog jumped up at me, paws slamming straight into my nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 697

You deserved it 2 518

Today, my boyfriend drove me home. I mentioned how I had recently started my period and he freaked out, saying I would "leak" through my tampon onto his seat. He made me sit on towels all the way home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 732

You deserved it 6 560

Today, I got on a crowded bus and was forced to stand. The bus made a sharp turn, so I reached for a pole to hold onto. Without looking, I grabbed the pole. It was wet and moist, but I nonetheless held on until the turn was done. I turned to see I had also grabbed a large man's nose and had squeezed it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 292

You deserved it 912

Today, I had a school band concert in which I was doing a clarinet solo. I had a Laffy Taffy before the concert. Little did I know part of the wrapper got stuck in my hair. I went through the whole concert like that and I was so embarrassed when I found out afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 738

You deserved it 302