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Call CPS?

By ToxicNeighbors - 31/05/2025 12:00 - Germany

Today, my neighbour is a doctor and has a 2 year-old son. He has a stomach infection and has been crying non stop day and night for a week now. The woman is not taking him to the hospital or giving him medicines, because it's "just diarrhea" and will "go away." The crying is driving me mad. I can't sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 63

That's kinda sweet

By rond9 - 06/06/2021 04:01

Today, after spending the night with my girlfriend for the first time, I discovered why she would always want to rush home after dinner dates. Her stomach gurgles so loudly after eating, I can hear it in the next room over, with the TV on. This apparently happens no matter what she eats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 880

You deserved it 157

Team Insomnia

By tp. - 08/06/2021 01:59

Today, my parents made me wake up at 7 a.m., like every morning. When I woke up exhausted, my mom rolled her eyes and said, "It’s called going to bed earlier." I went to bed at 10 p.m. last night. I fell asleep at 5 am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 951

You deserved it 237

I don't wanna, I don't think so

By Anonymous - 10/08/2022 00:00

Today, I had to fire an employee for the first time in my life. She broke something that keeps breaking on its own, but she didn't report it. HR made me fire her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 011

You deserved it 127

By ImprovTeacher - 16/06/2019 14:05

Today, I was teaching a small group of improv students. I asked one guy to do a monologue, and laughed to myself while he did so. I said, "Sorry, I'm just laughing at the way you're doing it." He then got upset and pointed out that he had a speech impediment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 700

You deserved it 2 431

Panic attack

By Anonymous - 18/06/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I was shopping when I got charged at by a really big dog, causing me to panic and fall. The store won’t do anything because the cunt of an owner lied and said it’s her “service dog.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 106

Tough choice

By Anonymous - 29/08/2022 10:00

Today, I escaped my husband's snoring by going to sleep on our sleeper couch, only to be welcomed by an excited mosquito population, which sounding like, "Happy hour guys, she's on her period, let's suck this eternal source of blood!" I went back next to my husband and I didn't sleep, but at least wasn't being bitten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 840

You deserved it 173

The sound of silence

By hearing too much - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, the walls in my house are so thin that I heard my roommate yell from the bathroom upstairs, "Hear my butthole roar." Now I’m scared to use the bathroom after him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 071

You deserved it 293

To snitch or not to snitch

By bioloss - 21/06/2021 14:01 - United States - New York

Today, I found out my mom is sleeping with my boss. My dad doesn’t know yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 455

You deserved it 95

Major escalation

By animal cruelty - 24/06/2025 15:00 - Netherlands - Amsterdam

Today, I complained about a wasp nest in the yard. My boyfriend said he'd take care of it once the sun went down. That evening, I looked outside to see him pour gasoline on the nest and set it on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 170

Deadbeat

By Ryley Jenna - 23/06/2021 11:01

Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me for a year. He doesn't see how texting and sexting counts as cheating. While I cleaned, cooked, payed all our bills and went to school, he didn't work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 201

You deserved it 284

I want to break free

By Anonymous - 02/09/2022 16:00 - India - Delhi

Today, I realised that I still don't know what to do with my life, since my parents have taken decisions for me my entire life, and are forcing me to a field of study which requires enormous amount of dedication and years, which I have no interest in, but still have to do because I don't know what else to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 815

You deserved it 559

From 100 to 0 real fast

By Anonymous - 26/06/2021 08:01 - United Kingdom - Buckley

Today, my fuckbuddy is hot as fuck; the kisses and touches are intense. We went to bed for the first time and I was expecting fireworks, since everything else so far has been like nothing I've ever experienced. He came before we even started. Twice. I have a fuckbuddy that I can't fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 519

You deserved it 452

Grumpy face

By Anonymous - 29/06/2025 22:00

Today, my daughter confidently told me that I’m not allowed to ignore her when she’s sulking on purpose. That’s not how it’s supposed to work. Clearly this child has spent too long listening to my ex-wife and her coven of brain-dead cackling witches, AKA her mother and aunties. FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 162

Nice guy

By Anonymous - 09/07/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, there is a reason women don’t like self proclaimed “nice guys.” A guy I turned down years ago took pictures from my breast cancer journey and used them as props during his podcast/video to tell his disgusting fans I deserved cancer for rejecting him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 677

You deserved it 90

Seems reasonable

By Anonymous - 17/09/2022 22:00

Today, my new girlfriend tried to get me to quit being a gynaecologist because she says touching vaginas all day is low-key cheating on her. Lady, it took years of training to get this job, which I take very seriously, and we’ve only been on 4 dates. Between my career and you, I ain’t gonna choose you. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 802

You deserved it 145

**** paddleboarders

By Anonymous - 13/07/2021 06:01 - United States - Miami Beach

Today, some paddleboarders screamed bloody murder and called marine patrol on my family's friends, because the paddleboarders thought they were going to get hit or run over or whatever, even though they were politely asked to move out of the way multiple times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 805

You deserved it 237

It's political correctness gone mad!

By Anonymous - 30/09/2022 03:30

Today, my wife threatened to leave me for "bodyshaming" our daughter by giving her a bicycle for her birthday. I bought her a bike because she's been asking for one for months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 396

You deserved it 108

Parents react to announcement [GONE WRONG]

By Anonymous - 05/10/2022 00:30

Today, I came out as bisexual while we were in the car. My mom started crying behind the steering wheel, driving at 85 mph. She later told my dad, even though I asked her not to. My dad said, "Give it a month, he'll grow out of it." I realized I was bi 4 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 207

You deserved it 398

Anger issues

By Flash - 25/07/2021 14:01 - India - Bangalore

Today, I found out why my girlfriend has been angry with me ever since I moved in with her. Apparently, she is pissed that I taught her cat how to play fetch and keep treating him like a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 018

You deserved it 186

Customers from hell

By natalie the witch - 13/10/2022 22:00

Today, while stocking the shelves, a customer demanded I ring up his stuff. I’m not a cashier and therefore don’t have a login code to do so, so I told him as such. He then pulled out a knife and threatened to stab me if I didn’t ring him up. I’m currently writing this from the ER. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 288

You deserved it 95

The internet hates you

By Anonymous - 28/07/2021 11:01

Today, I had to cancel my vacation in Norway, which I had been planning for 2 months and had cried and stressed over all that time because this was the first vacation I'd ever planned myself. Now YouTube won't stop showing me ads about visiting Norway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 898

You deserved it 209

Right in the kidneys

By still single - 28/07/2021 22:01

Today, after spending three weeks in the hospital for a kidney infection, I found out the girl I have been dating now has a girlfriend. I guess that’s why she couldn’t visit me this whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 982

You deserved it 83

No means no

By Anonymous - 19/10/2022 22:00

Today, I got beat up at the bar. Why? I politely rejected a guy's sexual advances, so he turned to physical intimidation. I'm a soft-spoken 5'6 straight male. I've been ghosted by every woman I've talked to in the past two years. The only attention I've gotten is from men who can't take no for an answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 130

You deserved it 124

Hashtag Not All Men, but quite a few, eh?

By Anonymous - 30/10/2022 22:00 - United Kingdom - Cambridge

Today, I was having some fun with a guy, but I had to fake orgasm twice just so he would get out of me it was that shit. Third guy in a row. FML

I agree, your life sucks 572

You deserved it 1 187

The struggle is real

By Any mouse - 06/03/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I'm a 46 year-old woman who hates online dating, and who is now single again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 204

BIKES!

By Anonymous - 09/03/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I started working night shift at my new job. It was also the day the kid across the road from me decided to start riding the loud dirt bike he got for Xmas in circles over their lawn, during the hours when I need to sleep. His parents refuse to do anything, and won't take him anywhere else to ride. FML

I agree, your life sucks 486

You deserved it 143

Small world after all

By Anonymous - 15/09/2025 20:00

Today, I am now living a nightmare. The house on my left side was just bought by my cheating ex from years ago who I never wanted to see again, and the house on my right side has just had an offer put on it by my boss, whom I despise for being a lazy, entitled rich mama's boy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 476

You deserved it 99

We've all been there

By Anonymous - 18/03/2024 12:00 - United States - Austin

Today, I thought about her again. I want her back, even though I know I shouldn't. She did a lot to hurt me, but did even more to love me. Sometimes I just want the old her back, if that's even possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 234

You deserved it 473

Just go already!

By i…… - 07/11/2022 14:00

Today, I told my dad to go to the doctor, as he’s been hacking his lungs up every minute for a month, and I've not had a decent night’s sleep since then. He insists he’s not sick, and my mom yelled at me because she sleeps in the same room and is able to sleep through it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 895

You deserved it 90

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The Top

Today, I shut one of my breasts in my car door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 116

You deserved it 10 278

Today, I found out my kids only remember my birthday because it's the password on the iPad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 638

You deserved it 5 829

Today, my future mother-in-law finally admitted that I'm "not the girl for her son" and that she will do anything to break us up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 443

You deserved it 2 908

Today, I asked my boyfriend if I looked alright for our date. He said, "Honey, you look fine, just don't go out in public like that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 069

You deserved it 6 261

Math is hard.

I agree, your life sucks 500

You deserved it 141

Today, my after-school community center received a complaint from an upset parent and they’re threatening to “sue” for traumatizing their child. Apparently, someone replaced all the books in the Little Free Library with the Kama Sutra and pornography books. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 121

You deserved it 178