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Am I a good person?

By Anonymous - 05/04/2024 00:00 - United States - Rock Springs

Today, I have found that I have feelings for my best friend's wife. She is beautiful, caring, and downright a good wife. She does have issues, like mental issues, but she talks to me and she comes to me for comfort. I have thought it would be nice to just hold her hand even. Am I a jerk or not? I want her bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 191

You deserved it 998

Beware what you wish for

By germified - 08/09/2021 17:01

Today, my kids and I have been ecstatic about them being back in school. After a year on Zoom, they couldn’t wait to get back into the classroom because every day they bring home something new and interesting. This time, they brought home a cold so bad it’s knocked me flat on my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 982

You deserved it 172

**** my shit up

By Anonymous - 07/12/2022 04:00

Today, I got a haircut and it was messed up for the fifth time in a row. FML

I agree, your life sucks 655

You deserved it 189

Criminals

By Jonny - 22/09/2021 20:01

Today, I heard from my little nephews that in school, the father of one of their peers has his arms all covered in tattoos. Their grandpa told my nephews to stay away from people with tattoos, as they were likely criminals and wanting to kidnap children. He doesn't know I have a tattoo in my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 918

You deserved it 193

By but why - 21/08/2018 23:30

Today, when it started raining, I remembered that I'd left my kitchen windows open. I hurried to close them, but slipped in a huge puddle and slid into the wall, making a huge hole in it with my knee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 562

You deserved it 384

Pipe down Mariah

By Confidenceruined - 28/12/2022 18:00

Today, we were at a friend’s birthday party and it was time to sing Happy Birthday. My crush was there. Wanting to impress him, I started out-singing everyone with runs and riffs. Someone said, “It’s just Happy Birthday, it’s not that serious, wannabe American Idol.” Everyone, including him, laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 267

You deserved it 2 391

Frittering it away

By Anonymous - 13/10/2021 13:59

Today, I've been with my boyfriend for 6 years, and I just found out he has an OnlyFans, on which I found he messages girls, and talks to one specifically nearly regularly all year. I have no idea how much he's spent on there, but a lot: tips, requests, di** ratings. This is only a small part, and we just got a house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 475

You deserved it 199

Hypocrisy

By AfraidOfToxicity - 21/07/2020 02:02

Today, I had a friend quit every friend group we shared, all because I refused to show him favouritism in my D&D campaign, after I changed the rules to reduce favouritism between everyone, because he'd complained. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 454

You deserved it 176

Come back

By Anonymous - 01/11/2021 01:59

Today, after I got into an argument with mom's boyfriend, telling him to piss off because no one wanted him, and he did so, saying he was done putting in wasted effort, now he's gone I realise how much he did for us, or that his share of the bills paid the rent. We may lose our house because of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 211

You deserved it 2 773

Girls gone wild

By Anonymous - 22/01/2023 15:00 - United States

Today, the only girl who seems semi-interested in me is my ex-girlfriend, who bails out every time we make plans to meet up. I deserve to be treated better, but better wants nothing to do with me. Genuinely kind girls tell I'm too short, or assume I have ulterior motives. I hate hookups and dating in your twenties. FML

I agree, your life sucks 759

You deserved it 274

Romance is dead

By Anonymous - 20/01/2023 00:00 - Australia - Peakhurst

Today, on my 11-year anniversary with my wife, I bought her a nice necklace and we went to an Indian restaurant where we had the most sensational banquet meal. When we got home, I suggested we made love, to which she replied, "I don't like you enough to do that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 670

You deserved it 244

Slippery slope

By Anonymous - 20/02/2023 05:00

Today, I went skiing for the very first time and spent more time falling down than actually skiing. Despite the fact that I'm up here in the mountains for another week with my family, I'm never trying that again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 553

You deserved it 381

Better Red than Dead

By hypocrite much?! - 22/11/2021 01:59 - United States

Today, my rabidly pro-life friend has been touting off about, “My body, my choice” because of the proposed vaccine mandates. When I reminded her that she’s always been against women making choices about their bodies, she screamed I was a murdering, commie bitch. Thanks, friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 321

You deserved it 381

Foolproof

By Anonymous - 25/07/2024 16:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I received a package addressed to my husband. I thought it was a surprise gift for me, so I excitedly opened it. It turned out to be a 3-foot tall realistic-looking penguin. Confused, I asked him about it. He sheepishly admitted he'd bought it to scare off the neighbor's cat, who's been using our garden as a litter tray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97

You deserved it 760

Grossed out

By Anonymous - 10/11/2018 14:00

Today, I was helping this girl to the nurse’s office because she was so sick that she could barely walk. About halfway there, she stopped and vomited on me. My jaw was dropped in shock when she threw up on me again. A little went into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 829

You deserved it 357

By sluttyfox - 31/10/2018 14:00

Today, I was excited to finally receive my Halloween costume in the mail after the one I ordered back in September got lost in transit. Upon reaching my mailbox, I saw the lock had been broken off and my new costume had been stolen. The party is tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 137

You deserved it 234

Kidmaxxing

By Good mom - 05/03/2026 03:00

Today, my husband and I had a huge fight. I have a son from a previous relationship who he loves, but he wants more kids. My son is 9, almost 10, he's so used to being my baby that I can't bring myself to take that from him by having another baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 949

By Anonymous - 11/07/2019 02:00

Today, I felt so lonely that when I was watching a ghost show, I wished my house was haunted so at least some sort of presence was with me, even if it was in another dimension. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 610

You deserved it 278

Hangry

By Anonymous - 18/03/2026 12:00

Today, I realized that my diet has gone completely bust. If I try to limit the amount of food that I eat, my stomach is growling and keeping me up at night, when my sugar isn't crashing and turning me into a food vacuum cleaner eating everything in sight. I'm not starving myself, I'm trying to control my portions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 333

You deserved it 93

Forever the bridesmaid

By Anonymous - 21/10/2020 14:02

Today, after watching my roommate and her boyfriend be all lovey dovey for months, I now have to watch two of our other friends flirting as well. I'm painfully single and have been struggling to change that for years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 049

You deserved it 237

Facts over feelings

By Anonymous - 23/10/2020 20:03 - United States - Springfield

Today, I noticed that my mom still has me saved in her phone with my married name. I told her she could change it back to my maiden name. She said, "Not until it's legal!" My husband and I have been separated for more than 2 years and my divorce will be finalized in 2 days. She still won't change it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 172

You deserved it 236

Thanks, Marley

By Anonymous - 30/10/2020 08:08

Today, I made sure my puppy went number 1 and 2 before taking them into a pet-friendly store. In the store, two ladies awed at my puppy, but as I picked him up I didn't notice he'd shat on the floor until they pointed it out, giving me a dirty look. Other customers glared as I picked up his smeared shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 029

You deserved it 288

Lie by omission

By Anonymous - 19/04/2023 18:00 - United States - Moyock

Today, I found out the guy I was talking and mutually flirty with is married. I was under the impression that he was divorced, up until when he told me that he's married and assumed that I knew. He says he's in a loveless marriage because his wife cheated and they're staying together for their little kid. WTF? FML

I agree, your life sucks 851

You deserved it 170

Grow up!

By UpTheDuff - 20/04/2023 18:00 - United States - New York

Today, after a necessary medical procedure that rendered my birth control ineffective, I found out I’m pregnant. I was already planning to break up with my manchild boyfriend, and when I told him this, his first response was, “What will my parents think?” Parents with whom he still lives at age 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 617

You deserved it 823

Lucid

By Man Shamed - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United States - Hyattsville

Today, while using the bathroom in a small coffee shop, I somehow passed out sitting on the toilet. There is nothing more jarring than waking up to the vicious banging of 7 angry, urine-filled patrons attempting to break down a door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 730

You deserved it 1 273

You tried

By Anonymous - 25/11/2020 23:06 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, I'm in my late thirties, I quit my dream job to go back to school in hopes of providing a better future for my family. All my wife does anymore is bitch about how she has to support the family and do everything. I just found out that my grades aren't good enough to continue my college program. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 127

You deserved it 747

Police protected wedding

By Tiana - 14/03/2022 02:00

Today, my stepfather currently has a restraining order of 1 Km because he kept on stalking me and my fiancée. I'm getting married in a week and I just found out that my mother invited him. I need to think fast on how to stop this scumbag from showing up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 063

You deserved it 87

Roll with it

By Anonymous - 21/05/2023 22:00

Today, my girlfriend of over a year told me the reason we've only been intimate once in the past 8 months is because she thinks she might be asexual. I love her, but I miss the intimacy we had when we first started dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 198

You deserved it 241

Beggars can be choosers

By Rebecca Palermo - 14/12/2020 11:03

Today, I saw a girl asking for money on the median of an entrance to a parking lot with her dog. Later, I bought a box of dog treats for her. I drove up and handed it to her. She rolled her eyes and said, "How the hell am I supposed to carry that?" I sat there in stunned disbelief with the box she refused to take. FML

I agree, your life sucks 983

You deserved it 237

Shitpants blues

By Anonymous - 24/12/2020 02:01

Today, I recently started taking some antidepressants and they have been working really well for me, except for the fact that they have made me crap my pants twice now. Both times in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 985

You deserved it 91

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The Top

Today, I decided to improve my posture by sitting through all of my classes with my shoulders and back completely straight. Pretty soon I couldn't move my shoulders at all. I had to go to the chiropractor. It turns out that in trying to improve my posture, I misaligned my spine instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 403

You deserved it 6 697

Today, I talked to my ex on AIM after not speaking to her since we broke up two years ago. The conversation lead up to her asking how I feel about her. So I poured my heart and soul out to her, because I still love her. She immediately logged off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 057

You deserved it 32 844

Today, I broke up with the girl I'd been dating for two months because she started smoking. This is a deal breaker for me. I just found out from her friend that she started smoking for the sole purpose of getting me to break it off and now plans to quit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 661

You deserved it 7 902

Today, I had just finished making myself an ice cream cone when my cat puked all over the floor. I set my cone on the counter while I cleaned up, and when I finished, my cat was licking it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 895

You deserved it 642

Today, my close friend messaged me, asking if she could still move in. I don't remember the conversation we had saying that she could move in in the first place. I live in a one bedroom apartment. I have no idea what to say. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 296

You deserved it 224

Today, I baked my boyfriend his favorite cookies for his birthday. Well, I tried. I followed the recipe, but they somehow turned out diamond hard. When he tried to bite into one, he chipped a tooth. Instead of being mad, he laughed and said, “At least you tried.” Now I’m stuck with inedible cookies and a dentist's bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 150