The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

Quite the doozy

By Anonymous - 07/05/2024 12:00 - United States - Riverside

Today, my wife has moved into the guest room and has been giving me the cold shoulder ever since I asked for a paternity test for our kids. She swears she’s never cheated, so what’s she so offended for? Women make no sense. FML

I agree, your life sucks 199

You deserved it 1 693

Duh

By psb1990 - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, a guy on the street introduced himself as a photographer with a project about women's feet and asked if he could take a photo of mine. He showed me his Instagram, which looked legitimate at a glance, so I agreed and followed him. Turns out it's a fetish account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 552

You deserved it 4 530

By Double Standard - 12/10/2018 15:30 - United States - Menasha

Today, my boss yelled at me for having Facebook open at work. That's fine, I closed it and continued on with my work. In a meeting later on I could see the reflection of my boss's laptop screen in a mirror behind her desk. For two hours, I watched her scroll through her Facebook feed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 924

You deserved it 450

By bootycall:( - 15/02/2017 22:00 - United States - Oxnard

Today, I went on what I thought was my fifth date with a guy. We finally got intimate and it was amazing. As soon as it was over, he said : "Sorry babe, I should get going. I have a date tomorrow and I'd hate to be tired for it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 977

You deserved it 1 278

By Anonymous - 08/03/2019 12:00

Today, my teacher told me that unless I went into medicine, math, or engineering, I would never amount to anything in life. This wasn't even two minutes after I told him I want to be an author. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 084

You deserved it 405

By Anonyme - 19/09/2010 04:44 - Algeria

Today, I’m on a mission in Africa. My company driver is so old, deaf and half blind that I have to scream what is written on all the road signs at him, and tell him to which way to turn… so he can point the car in that general direction and hope for the best. FML

I agree, your life sucks 610

You deserved it 66

Soft as snow

By Snow White - 22/05/2017 22:00

Today, I'm so pale that I managed to get a sunburn while sitting in a bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 069

You deserved it 428

Freaked out

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, my son was crying and refusing to sleep in his room because a spider ran along the wall, and it's now hiding somewhere. He’s 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 026

You deserved it 547

By winks - 09/11/2016 19:06 - United States - Reno

Today, I got into a car accident that was my fault. The other driver was my professor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 562

You deserved it 1 748

By Anonymous - 13/08/2019 20:00

Today, my friend was extremely constipated when he used my toilet. I'm now having to go buy a new toothbrush, because he used mine to dig out his shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 242

You deserved it 170

By Anonymous - 25/08/2016 00:36 - United States - Westerville

Today, I need a new mattress. Last night, I slept on the floor. It was the best sleep I've had in a while. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 777

You deserved it 1 029

By sadmama - 23/02/2018 15:00

Today, I found out that while my mother-in-law claimed to be babysitting my son, she was actually dropping him off at an unlicensed “day care” in a shady part of town so she could go out. How did I find out? The house was raided by police. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 823

You deserved it 349

By chickenflavouredlaptop - 09/04/2018 01:30

Today, I received my new laptop in the mail and put it on the kitchen counter, where my family charges all our electronics. My mom then decided to make soup and spilt chicken broth all over my new laptop before I even got the chance to turn it on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 089

You deserved it 1 057

By Nojob - 06/06/2018 15:00 - United States - Bronx

Today, on my way to my job interview, the man who was supposed to be interviewing me slammed into my car because he wasn’t paying attention. He fired me for raising his insurance premiums. I got fired before getting the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 225

You deserved it 208

Get out

By Anonymous - 23/09/2020 14:01 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to break up with me again, and actually offered me gas money so that I would leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 535

You deserved it 2 056

By LikeAndreTheGiant - 14/02/2017 04:00 - United States

Today, I noticed my doctor has freakishly huge hands. This normally wouldn't have bothered me were I not there for a prostate exam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 962

You deserved it 557

By Anonymous - 18/02/2019 18:00

Today, I found myself crying my eyes out over my two favourite fictional characters' deaths. It happened over 6 years ago and has affected me more than real peoples' deaths. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 710

You deserved it 1 000

By mstannyngdogevr - 01/03/2017 00:00 - United States - Orlando

Today, my fiancé and I moved into a new home a few houses away from our previous one. We were excited about not hearing our roommate's dog howling non-stop anymore. We can hear him from the new house. Very clearly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 971

You deserved it 1 956

The scene

By Goober - 05/06/2023 06:00

Today, I found a curly hair in my fries at a restaurant. It was disgusting, so I screamed at my waiter. To my surprise, they kicked me out of the restaurant for, "making a scene". They wouldn’t even replace my fries. When did the customer stop being right? FML

I agree, your life sucks 216

You deserved it 3 367

By Quelestvotreprobleme? - 29/03/2013 09:14 - Turquie - Ankara

Today, I checked in at a hotel, got the keys and went up to my room. However, there seemed to be a problem, so I went back to the front desk. “Excuse me, but there’s already someone in my room!” The reply I got was, “So, what’s the problem?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 710

You deserved it 51

Pavlov's service

By please stay on the line - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I was sitting in the break room when my boss came in and yelled at me about a mistake. Because I've worked in customer service for years, I instinctively responded with, "I'm terribly sorry to hear that, sir. I hope you'll still consider us in the future." FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 194

You deserved it 984

Dude! Come on!

By CreeperKiller2000 - 29/05/2017 00:00

Today, I woke up really out of it, and as I was walking into the kitchen, I stubbed my toe on a tile. I sat down, then got up and stubbed the same toe against the table, went over to the kitchen and stubbed the same toe on the same tile again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 088

You deserved it 1 232

By crazyhair docare - 08/07/2019 16:00

Today, after a lifetime of weaves and extensions, I felt brave enough to wear my natural hair to work. As soon as I clocked in, my manager yelled, “Holy shit! What happened to you? Stick your finger in a socket or something?” I was then sent home for being, “Out of uniform.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 541

You deserved it 312

By ForeverYoung - 17/08/2019 12:00

Today, I got mistaken for a high school freshman. It’s my 23rd birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 442

You deserved it 253

Bottom line

By strangeprincess - 09/09/2019 16:00

Today, I had to put my cat to sleep after she was in an accident. While I was crying hysterically, the vet asked me for $230. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 918

You deserved it 316

The audacity

By fuckthat! - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United States - Madison

Today, my soon-to-be ex-husband had the audacity to ask if the woman he cheated on me with could be in the delivery room while I give birth to our baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 619

You deserved it 417

By Peach - 05/12/2017 15:00

Today, my husband finally decided to help with the laundry. He washed a pen and it exploded in the dryer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 209

You deserved it 462

By SomeGuyInNY - 16/12/2017 15:00 - United States - Poughkeepsie

Today, I volunteered to tend bar at a friend's charity event. I was called incompetent and had a drink thrown at me for stirring a martini instead of shaking "like they do in James Bond". I've been tending bar for 30 years and have never had a drink thrown at me before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 800

You deserved it 339

By radiantum13 - 09/06/2016 02:33

Today, I got yelled at by my supervisor for getting an hour of overtime yesterday. The reason I had an hour of overtime was because that same supervisor made me stay late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 118

You deserved it 1 065

By Fucked4life - 18/04/2018 20:30

Today, I've been dating my boyfriend for 6 years. I've had a really bad week and am feeling depressed, and he knows this. He's also just decided to tell me he has a two-month-old daughter. We do not have an open relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 288

You deserved it 487

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Photography Mysterious Neighbours Cute Relatable Family Love NSFW Sex Intimacy Mental health Ironic Embarrassing Haircut Money YouTube Wake up Messy DIY Awkward Cheating Pregnancy Kids Birthday Cats Animals Kittens Dogs Parenting

The Top

Today, I had to explain to my boss that DVI ports are not the same as HDMI ports. When I showed him the HDMI cable, he said, "Oh! You mean USB!" He's an engineering manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 783

You deserved it 1 788

Today, I found out that after reuniting with an old boyfriend, getting close with his two year old son, and moving closer to him to properly be a part of their lives, he got back together with his ex-wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 431

You deserved it 6 234

Today, I found out that not only does my sister consider Fox News "reliable" but her husband has been buying Trump merchandise. They owe me $1,900 but they're literally giving a millionaire money instead of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 240

You deserved it 453

Today, it’s only been a few months but I’m seriously considering leaving my husband. His kids were fine during weekend visits, but now that they live with us they’ve become absolutely insufferable fucking monsters. He won’t discipline them, and when I try they, tell the most awful lies about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 608

You deserved it 247

Today, I found out my family doesn't actually use the secret codeword we've had since childhood for when we’re in trouble. They've just been saying it around me for years because they thought it was funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 105

Today, I woke up earlier than most days, I spooned my wife, gently massaging her back and letting her feel I was ready for play. She finally woke up, got dressed, and didn’t give a damn. I had to work it out myself once again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 223

You deserved it 304