Your everyday life stories

IdRatherNot - 10/06/2016 00:57 - Puerto Rico - San Juan

Today, my uncle called telling me he needs the family getaway house (the one I practically live in now) to spend the weekend with his wife. I'm pissed because I was going to have my first time with my girlfriend this weekend and I couldn't tell my family why I actually needed the house so bad. FML.

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bat_girl18 - 10/06/2016 00:19 - United States

Today, my boyfriend left for a cruise with his roommate and his family. Everything would have been great if it wasn't for me getting left behind because of work. I had a free ticket to go with him, but my boss wouldn't let me off for that long FML.

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is it still me that makes you sweat - 09/06/2016 23:13 - United States - King George

Today, at my job as a camp counselor, I met some really cool kids that I would love to be friends with. Too bad I'm an 18 year old girl who recently graduated from high school, and the kids are a couple of 11 year old boys who recently graduated from the fifth grade. FML

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babyscarface - 09/06/2016 20:45 - United States - Anaheim

Today, I walked in on my 11 year old sister-in-law holding my 10 month old, in the middle of telling her twin brother, how easy it would be to break my sons little toes but that she wouldn't do that because it would be too messy. FML.

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Pluffzee - 09/06/2016 19:53 - United States

Today, I was about to confess to the guy that I liked, but before I could get a word out of my mouth, he told me that he loved me like a sister. FML

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anonymous - 09/06/2016 19:12 - United States - Wilmington

Today, I needed to pee at the gym. One of my headphones fell in the urinal. FML

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chidisstillfly - 09/06/2016 18:45 - United States - White Plains

Today, I made lunch for myself and my dad complained I never cook for the family but when I cook for the family, no one wants to eat. FML

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Drooley - 09/06/2016 17:20 - Germany - Weilburg

Today, I fell asleep in my colleague's car while driving home. I drooled. FML

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skeletondrummer - 09/06/2016 16:23 - United States - Lake Oswego

Today, I told my son to watch for the repair man as I went to change clothes. He asked, "is that him?" and I came out in just my panties to see. He opened the door and I flashed the repair man. He won't stop winking at me. FML

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Anonymous - 09/06/2016 16:15 - United States - Aurora

Today, I'm a gay male. I have to go to my best friend's (who I am in love with and have been since we were kids) wedding to watch him marry a girl he met 3 months ago.

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neglected - 09/06/2016 16:08 - United Kingdom - Chard

Today, my dad asked me what my name was. FML

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Anonymous - 09/06/2016 15:56 - United States - Allen

Today, my boyfriend messaged an old crush. He got a new phone yesterday and left the old one home with me. He must've forgotten his old phone was still linked with his facebook because every message she sent back gave me a delightful ding agreeing to meet up at that he was single.

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AnnaMuffin - 09/06/2016 14:24 - Netherlands - Leiden

Today, I got a letter from my school, stating: 'Congratulations on graduating!'. Then I got an email, saying they sent the wrong letter. FML

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llamapartyy - 09/06/2016 14:23 - Netherlands - Roermond

Today, my ex-boyfriend tried to smoke italian spices because he thought it had the same effect as weed. He even acted like he was stoned. FML

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bee unhappy bee unhealthy - 09/06/2016 14:15 - United States - Black Mountain

Today, my best friend's mom backed her car into my dad's. It turns out when she climbed into the car, she sat on a bee. This was the second accident the car had been in since I hand washed it a few days ago. The first was my dad hitting a motorcycle. FML

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slowly dying - 09/06/2016 14:11

Today is day 4 of being severely sunburnt on my back. I can't sleep comfortably and now have knots in my shoulders. I can't leave the house because I can't wear properly fitting clothing. And I smell terrible due to the treatment and not being able to shower. Moral of the story: wear sunscreen. FML

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Grossedout - 09/06/2016 13:58 - United States - Naples

Today, I walked out to my garage where my other refrigerator is kept to get one of my favorite limited edition sodas. There was a rat in the fridge. FML

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Jacoder23 - 09/06/2016 13:57 - Philippines - San Juan

Today, I clicked okay when I got an alert saying that my computer was shutting down. You'd think that after programming for a few years you'd at least know when to click cancel. FML

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Fireballs - 09/06/2016 13:52 - United States - Woodbridge

Today, after taking time off of work because my mom was hospitalized for a life threatening condition, my mom asked me if I was having a nice vacation from work. FML.

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Red_Dead_Rock - 09/06/2016 13:18 - United States - Jackson

Today, while I was sexting my girlfriend she afterwards said "hi this is the dad of your girlfriend" FML

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Fireballs - 09/06/2016 13:12 - United States - San Francisco

Today, after months of looking, I finally found a house to buy (that I just love). Found out it's on the same street as one of my employees that I want to fire. FML.

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anonymous - 09/06/2016 09:50 - United States - Inverness

Today, I got my hours cut at work. I wouldn't be so upset about this if it weren't for the fact that the newly hired 16 year old (who spends all shift on his phone) gets full-time hours and now makes more money than me as my subordinate. FML

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anonymous - 09/06/2016 09:12 - United States - American Fork

Today, 90% of my body is covered in a red, peeling, and painful sunburn. Including my eyelids and nipples. FML.

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KingSquisher - 09/06/2016 07:49 - United States - Grass Valley

Today, I learned the hard way that pork jerry caked in Sriracha isn't only spicy on the way in. FML

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NoCar - 09/06/2016 02:23 - United States - Tampa

Today, A woman was destroying her cheating boyfriends car. As I was leaving the cafe I realized it was my car. I've been single for three years.FML

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skyttlz - 09/06/2016 02:18 - United States - Longview

Today, I told my boyfriend that the preschool I work at is a peanut-free zone. He then went on a rant about how people these days are "too accommodating" and if he wants to send his kid with peanuts, he damn will. FML

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Caleb Swisher - 09/06/2016 02:14 - United States - Salem

Today, I was making small talk with a player on my baseball team, and I was pointing out a coach I had seen last year yelling and harassing his players. I was telling my teammate how mean and crazy the coach was. He turned and gave me a dirty look, and said "That's my grandpa." FML

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tattoo - 09/06/2016 02:13 - Australia - Dandenong

Today, I went to see a specialist doctor. He began by checking my heart and breathing which required lifting my shirt up which he then saw my tattoo. He then stated that tattoo removalists will be making the big bucks when tattoos are no longer cool. What the hell? FML

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ihatelife - 09/06/2016 02:08 - United States - Dublin

Today, my boyfriend of a year now broke up with me because his friends were making fun of him for dating me. He literally tells me "I can't handle being made fun of this much" FML

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clumsysauce - 09/06/2016 01:48 - United States - Oklahoma City

Today, I want to get in my car, twisted my ankle in a crack on the road and fell down. Worst part was I had my keys in my hand so I literally keyed my own car on my way down. #FML

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I spent an hour meticulously crafting the perfect text to ask my crush out. Just as I hit send, I realized I'd accidentally sent a screenshot of the conversation to my crush instead. Now they know my level of commitment: zero. FML

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Today, I was looking through my roommate's room trying to find a DVD, when I stumbled upon a bundle of pictures of me showering and sleeping. FML

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Today, I was almost hit by a bus, missing me by a few centimetres, and only because I jumped back the moment I heard its horn. I was using the zebra crossing, and the lights were green for me. FML

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Today, I started my new job at a security company. In the first 15 minutes there was a bomb threat. FML

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Today, I didn't realise that after leaving my ex for someone else that I would need to be a therapist for all of his friends. He was such a garbage human being that he not only drove his friends away, but they all contacted me because I was the only one who "truly understood" how self-absorbed he was. FML

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Today, I was playing with my hedgehog and he started licking my face. I thought it was super cute, until he latched onto my eyelid with his teeth. He then created a ball of saliva and blood and coated his body in it. FML

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