The Top

I did get it resolved as we have a police officer in the parking lot before and after school. He vouched for me as he saw the guy doing the burnouts through his windshield. Thanks for the comments!

By onionrings - 08/06/2015 00:53 - United States - Gainesville

Today, I found out that my husband really thinks onion rings are seafood. He's 36. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 598

You deserved it 2 539

By AIienware - 30/06/2015 15:33

Today, at my job at a ceramics store, I was loading a $300 statuette into a woman's car when I saw a dismembered foot in the trunk. I was so startled that I dropped the statuette and it shattered. Turns out the foot was fake and now my boss says I have to pay for the damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 598

You deserved it 6 134

By GetHardOrGoHome - 31/03/2012 04:22 - United States - Chardon

Today, I visited my gynecologist. As she had her fingers inside me she decided that was the perfect time to say, "I absolutely love your socks!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 598

You deserved it 3 505

By ThanksMum - 14/02/2012 11:56 - United Kingdom

Today, the only card I got for Valentine's Day was in my mother's handwriting, and she posted it through the front door herself. She still won't admit it's from her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 597

You deserved it 2 801

By Anonymous - 08/12/2010 02:38 - United States

Today, I was extremely constipated. This is a side effect of the medication I take to alleviate my stomach condition. Due to this same condition I can't eat much roughage. We have no laxatives or stool softeners, and I have been shitting bricks for three days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 597

You deserved it 3 527

By ambiiii - 20/08/2015 03:25 - United States - Marble Falls

Today, my niece started crying because she thought that someday she'll look like me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 596

You deserved it 2 053

By Anonymous - 07/09/2012 22:59 - Australia - Redland Bay

Today, my grandpa was visiting. My neighbors started blasting out rap music, as they've done nearly 24/7 for months, telling me to fuck off when I complain. He went over and screamed he'd gut them like fish if they didn't pipe down. They did. He's 68 and still more intimidating than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 595

You deserved it 5 043

By Anonymous - 14/09/2009 04:19 - United States

Today, I had dinner with my family at a fancy restaurant. They kept commenting about how cold it was and asked the waitress to turn off the air conditioning. When I got home, I realized the embroidered daisies on my undershirt made it look like I have giant protruding nipples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 595

You deserved it 6 006

By mouse_13 - 15/01/2016 06:28 - United Kingdom - Bicester

Today, my fiancée was asleep, so I decided to spoon her from behind and cup her boobs to wake her up nicely. She responded by yelling, "THE TOAST!" and elbowing me in the face whilst still asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 594

You deserved it 5 671

mouse_13_fml tells us more.

mouse_13_fml 9

Saturday 16 January 2016 4:52

OP here- really surprised anyone would think this was cruel, as we've ben together for a long time and therefore know each others boundaries! Makes me sad people have to see the negative in something that makes me smile!