The Top

Op here, okay my wife's mother died 2 weeks beforehand and my mom thought it would be funny to make a joke out of it. So yes the punch was for sure justified. I haven't spoke to my mom since and I'm happily married with my wife.

By rink.attendant.6 - 21/06/2012 15:40 - Canada - Dryden

Today, I saw my crush working the only open till at the grocery store. When she saw me approach her queue, she immediately called for more cashiers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 152

You deserved it 3 622

Small talk

By livvlynette - 27/02/2010 10:15 - Australia

Today, I went to a family funeral. Talking to my grandfather, trying to chitchat, he said, "You're gaining weight, aren't you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 151

You deserved it 4 278

By smarie09 - 06/03/2010 22:44 - Canada

Today, I accidentally downloaded a virus, which hijacked my email program. I somehow doubt the Dean at my university will thank me for my suggestion that he too could experience 100% natural male enhancement pills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 149

You deserved it 6 032

By robbyrabbit - 11/11/2010 07:41 - United States

Today, I went to the place I signed for yesterday to pay the first month's rent and get my keys. I looked around before I left, and used the toilet. I went back later to show my boyfriend and found the place flooded an inch with water coming from the toilet. It had been flooding for 7 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 149

You deserved it 4 749

By Anonymous - 28/09/2014 16:42 - Canada - Lethbridge

Today, I made up an ingenious plan to finally hook up with the guy I really like at a party. Well, the plan itself worked great. Too bad I got so drunk that I used it on the wrong person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 148

You deserved it 37 029

Hello Goodbye

By jobless and broke - 29/07/2015 18:40 - United States - Mesa

Today, I got fired from my new job on my first day. Why? Because I'm 19 and company policy says you have to be 21. But they can't ask how old you are. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 148

You deserved it 2 455

By Anonymous - 28/07/2015 01:27 - United States - Orlando

Today, my brother was telling me about my "sweet" and "pure" ex-girlfriend. Three stab wounds have already proven otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 148

You deserved it 1 914

By neoteck - 08/01/2009 07:55 - France

Today, I was talking to a charming young lady on MSN by webcam. She suddenly asked me to take my glasses off for a minute; I did so, and she said, "Oh never mind, you're still just as ugly..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 145

You deserved it 2 612

Panic!

By Bleach dat Blood - 20/07/2015 03:02

Today, I woke to find a pool of my own blood all over my pillow. Frantic to find the source of the blood, I rushed into the bathroom and tripped over my too-long pajama pants. Crashing to the floor face first, I broke my nose. Turns out I had just bitten my lip in the middle of the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 143

You deserved it 3 824

Reality check

By DerrickUhl - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Napa

Today, I finally turned 21, so my friends and I decided to go to a club. There, I met this hot waitress and we were really hitting it off. I ordered a drink. She replied, "No problem, kiddo." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 142

You deserved it 7 201

By everybodysfool - 24/12/2009 01:02 - United States

Today, after having an amazing intimate encounter with my boyfriend of two years, I put on an old pair of boxers I still have from when I was heavier. He thinks I'm cheating on him and doesn't believe I used to be fat. Now he won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 141

You deserved it 4 300

You're barred

By sarahhbear - 17/11/2012 06:42 - United States - Bryan

Today, my older brother thought it would be hilarious to sneak up and scare me in the grocery aisle at the store. I screamed and jumped, knocking half the shelf's contents all over the floor. We're now banned from the only grocery store in town. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 141

You deserved it 3 205

By katie06 - 28/10/2010 06:39 - United States

Today, my dad explained to me the "chain of command" for our house. McKinley, Mom, himself, Charlie, then me. McKinley is my two year old daughter and Charlie is the dog. He was dead serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 139

You deserved it 5 732

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was babysitting a little girl, and we were playing with dolls. After we fed her babies, we put them down for a nap. After a few minutes, I asked if they'd had enough sleep. She looked at me like I was a freak and said, "Uh, they're not real babies, you know…" FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 754

You deserved it 3 686

Today, I was working at IHOP serving a table full of drunk idiots. After an hour of taking care of them I went to clean up their mess to find the tip they had left me. On a napkin a girl had wrote "Here's your tip for the night: Don't play leap frog with unicorns." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 402

You deserved it 3 225

Today, I was leaving my job at a huge mall. I couldn't find my car anywhere, so I panicked and flagged a security officer. I cried while he drove me around for miles in the endless parking lot. Then, suddenly, I remembered. My friend had dropped me off in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 586

You deserved it 56 274

Today, I kissed my girlfriend goodbye at the train station when a familiar woman's voice screamed, "You unfaithful piece of shit!" My sister had just wanted to troll me, which ended with my girlfriend slapping me twice, kicking my balls, and calling me some absurd names. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 292

You deserved it 220

Today, my dreams are populated mostly by grocery store employees, people from NextDoor, my cat, and people I haven’t seen in 30 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 719

You deserved it 135

Today, I’ve finished all my cancer treatments but my body is putting me through the wringer again. I got my first period after not having one for nearly a year, and with it has come all sorts of hormonal issues including cramping, mood swings, hot flashes, and heinous BO! It’s worse than puberty! FML

I agree, your life sucks 792

You deserved it 99