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The all-time greatest FMLs

Stranger danger!

By Anonymous - 26/09/2024 16:00 - United States - Flagstaff

Today, I hugged a man I thought was my dad at the airport. It wasn't my dad. The man’s actual family stood nearby, watching me cling to their father for a solid 5 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 167

You deserved it 401

A smoke alarm speaks!

By Anonymous - 11/01/2024 12:00 - United States - Oak Park

Today, I’m so over my boyfriend smoking too many cigarettes, and I hate cigarettes. The smell is just disgusting and plus it makes my nose stuffy. And he gets ashes everywhere. Plus he always leaves his room a mess. Other than him being financially stable and fun, he's such a slob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 167

You deserved it 785

Excuses, excuses

By Alison - 14/05/2025 15:00 - United States - Toledo

Today, I sent an angry email to a client who has been ghosting us for weeks. I ended it with, “Frankly, your lack of communication is unacceptable.” Five minutes later, I got an angry text message, saying, “Hi, I’m currently in the hospital recovering from surgery. I’ll respond as soon as I’m able, so take a Xanax.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 166

You deserved it 686

Banished

By Anonymous - 25/11/2023 20:00

Today, I was on an early flight home after a night of drinking. I was sat in my seat when I started feeling sweaty and nauseous. I grabbed the puke bag and started gagging, then puking, and a really loud fart came out. Everyone heard it. The attendant switched me seat to sit alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 166

You deserved it 843

Third wheel

By sammy - 11/01/2026 20:00

Today, and since 2026 started, my two friends began liking each other and I'm very happy for them. The problem? They get so close (literally and figuratively) that they do things that make me feel left out (both subjectively and objectively). Everyone says it's normal, but when I was in love I never did that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 166

You deserved it 286

Teamwork

By Cheifs - 23/06/2025 22:00 - Australia - Darwin

Today, I joined a Zoom meeting and spent 10 minutes talking about my car issues to a group of strangers who were definitely not my usual team. I then realized I was in a webinar for bird enthusiasts who were too polite to interrupt me talking about transmissions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 166

You deserved it 448

Sneaky

By Wow - 15/01/2023 12:00 - United States

Today, my cat tried to steal my burger. She was successful. She grabbed the patty with her teeth and pulled it right out of the burger. I was too dumbfounded to try and stop her. I have a suspicion that she is hungry and I forgot to feed her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 166

You deserved it 1 084

Pushing it too far

By Anonymous - 30/04/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I realized I might have some issues. After some amazing, satisfying rough sex, I started having incredible pain. I went to the hospital and discovered I'd asked him to beat me so hard that he'd cracked a rib. FML

I agree, your life sucks 166

You deserved it 596

Prepare for trouble

By Anonymous - 27/11/2025 03:00

Today, I was walking in the street, and ahead of me was a girl with a flowing dress. It was windy and the dress lifted up, showing for a split second Pokemon underwear. Before I could stop myself, I said: "Pikachu, I see you." She turned around and slapped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 166

You deserved it 679

Social butterfly

By Rico - 20/05/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, an attractive coworker complimented my cologne in the elevator, so naturally I tried to respond smoothly. Instead of saying, “Thanks, it’s new” I somehow combined two thoughts and blurted out, “Thanks, I’m sweating.” We rode the remaining twelve floors in intense silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 166

You deserved it 271

Just perfect

By Lilly - 17/07/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, my coworker and I got caught having sex in the break-room. It was 6 p.m. and there was only him and me from our department in the office. Apparently, this bitch from another department in another fucking building decided it was the perfect time to make microwave popcorn, and our break-room was the perfect place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 166

You deserved it 1 054

Ambition

By Anonymous - 14/02/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I saw my ex, who had dumped me for not being “ambitious” enough. I'd said she was just a gold digger and would die alone. She looked amazing at the fanciest, most expensive restaurant in town, and was celebrating being made partner at her law firm. I was bussing tables. FML

I agree, your life sucks 166

You deserved it 881

This needs clarification

By wrongdecisions - 05/07/2022 16:00

Today, some guy I’ve been talking to showed up at my house while I was on video call with my boyfriend. I had to confess to a stupid situation I had no business being in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 166

You deserved it 1 798

Modernish rejection

By Liarssuckk - 24/06/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, the girl who rejected me because she said she was a lesbian got Facebook official with another guy. I called her out on her lying and she replied, “Take it as a hint, now get out of my Messenger before I call the zookeeper.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 166

You deserved it 774

Bonus

By Anonymous - 18/12/2025 22:00

Today, I finally got a bonus virtual gift card in my email that was thrown in for buying a new mattress. Except I've never used a virtual gift card before, I only have the vaguest idea as to how to use it. I actually googled how to use it because I was so clueless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 166

You deserved it 254

RIP my best friend

By Anonymous - 20/07/2025 09:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I put my phone in the dishwasher by accident. I'd left it on the kitchen counter with a bunch of dirty stuff and, distracted, loaded it in with the plates. I only realized it when the dishwasher started making weird noises. My phone was soaked and blinking with bubbles inside. It didn’t survive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 166

You deserved it 424

I'm gonna head out

By Shirlz - 22/12/2025 15:00

Today, I answered a question in a meeting that wasn’t directed at me. I spoke for way too long before realizing everyone was silent because the question had actually been rhetorical. My boss nodded slowly and moved on. No one mentioned it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 166

You deserved it 352

Policy of truth

By WalkofShame101 - 04/06/2023 22:00

Today, my parents took the car I was supposed to get for my graduation back. Note to self: Don’t fall asleep at your friend Diane’s house past curfew. PS: Don’t lie about being at Diane’s, because they called her mom, who said I wasn’t there. I was actually at my boyfriend’s apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 166

You deserved it 1 908

It's a small world after all

By Deadman - 25/02/2022 01:59

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend at the mall. The one who I faked my death to back in Texas so I wouldn’t have to tell her I was leaving for someone else. She moved to Florida too. What a small world. FML

I agree, your life sucks 166

You deserved it 2 569

No pain, no sleep

By Anonymous - 29/09/2025 09:00

Today, after going to the bathroom I went to bed. I have a very sturdy bookshelf that sticks halfway to the right of the door as I enter my bedroom. I had dumbly turned off the lights as I didn't want to bother with them before bed. I ended up kneeing the bookshelf, hard, now I'm wide awake and in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 165

You deserved it 273

Always ready

By Anonymous - 13/04/2025 12:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I'm working remotely. Every morning at 8:30, all staff announces, "Morning, I'm online" in a chat app. I woke up two minutes before work began and accidentally typed, "Morning, I'm awake." The app showed two other staff members (including the boss) typing their messages then suddenly they stopped. They'd seen my message. FML

I agree, your life sucks 165

You deserved it 352

Fonzie

By Anonymous - 28/10/2025 09:00

Today, I was in a crowded elevator and tried to discreetly take a breath mint. The little tin slipped from my hands, bounced off my shoe, and scattered mints everywhere. Everyone stared as I bent over, frantically picking them up, muttering, “I swear I’m usually cool.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 165

You deserved it 314

Walked into her trap

By yikes - 18/03/2023 10:00

Today, I learned the VERY hard way that if you’re gonna go onto your neighbor’s property, yell at them for parking on your side of the street, and threaten to call the city on them, then you should probably make sure she doesn’t have pepper spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 165

You deserved it 1 775

Extorsion, but kinda deserved

By Soon2beBroKe - 22/05/2023 06:00

Today, I'm now jobless and girlfriend-less. The cat got out of the bag that I impregnated my co-worker, who I’ve been secretly dating. What caused this? I didn’t have enough hush money to pay my other co-worker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 165

You deserved it 4 088

Martial artist

By Weakling - 02/02/2025 03:00 - United States - Staten Island

Today, we did board breaking at a karate demonstration. I was nervous about failing in front of everyone, but I kept my cool. Good news, I broke the board. Bad news, I started crying like a baby because it hurt my hand. I'm 26. FML

I agree, your life sucks 165

You deserved it 377

Move on, dude

By Anonymous - 13/11/2023 10:00

Today, it's been 4 years since I cheated on my boyfriend and we broke up. I've moved on within those four years, but I found out the reason I have such a hard time getting a new man now is because my ex, who still works the same minimum wage job, still goes out of his way to tell everyone he knows about our breakup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 165

You deserved it 1 516

Spatial awareness

By Anonymous - 21/10/2025 20:00

Today, I walked up to what appeared to be an automatic door. I stood for a second, waved my arms, but nothing happened. Then a guy came from behind me, pushed a clearly visible button under a clearly visible sign that read "Push to open." He said, “It’s OK, happens to everyone.” It doesn’t feel like it does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 165

You deserved it 314

First impressions

By Ethan - 04/12/2025 12:00

Today, my boss introduced a new hire and said, “You two will get along great.” I tried to make small talk, tripped over the recycling bin, and spilled paper everywhere. The new hire said, “So… is this, like, normal around here?” Unfortunately, yes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 165

You deserved it 259

Never going outside again

By Anonymous - 30/08/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, not only is my son a bully, but he's dumb enough to bully a kid whose parents both do martial arts. His mom is a cage fighter and his step-dad is a kickboxer. They're both huge, terrifying, and pissed off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 165

You deserved it 617

Overwhelmed

By Anonymous - 23/08/2025 12:00 - Australia

Today, and ever since I got pregnant, I hate how my husband smells. I hate his perfume, his toothpaste, his body odor, everything. When I tell him, he feels offended. I just want a hygienic man to be a little less hygienic, is that too much to ask? FML

I agree, your life sucks 165

You deserved it 512

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The Top

Today, I had to stifle a fart so my upstairs neighbors wouldn't hear it. I know this because I frequently hear theirs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 299

You deserved it 3 036

Today, I learned that the manager I switched jobs to escape 7 months ago will be my new boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 400

You deserved it 552

Today, during my second day on the job, I ate pasta with a pen in the backroom. My old job provided plasticware, and it never occurred to me to pack a fork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 392

You deserved it 1 613

Today, because I wouldn’t let my little sister have any more cookies, she snuck into my room while I was sleeping and superglued my lips together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 103

You deserved it 126

Today, while I was taking a test in class, there was a question that had everyone stumped. After what seemed like forever, the teacher finally noticed and said he'd typed the question wrong. I spent more than half the time I had to complete the test on a question that wasn't even written correctly. Yes, I failed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 463

Today, I finally got an offer for a salaried position with the company I've been working for as a contractor for the past two years. They offered less than what I make now, but hey, benefits! FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 125