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The all-time greatest FMLs

Go vegan!

By Anon - 28/05/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I posted in the family group chat, asking if there would be plant-based food options for the Memorial Day barbecue, since I am vegan. All they sent were laughing emojis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 297

You deserved it 874

Good boy

By Anonymous - 10/06/2026 09:00 - Ireland - Cork

Today, same as every morning recently, a neighbour's tabby cat showed up on my balcony. We've developed a routine where I say hello and he sits nearby for a few minutes. During the day, I learned it belongs to the woman I've been awkwardly avoiding in the elevator for two years. The cat likes me more than its owner does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 297

You deserved it 101

Jacked

By Gertland - 26/07/2024 16:00 - United States - Bakersfield

Today, I went to the gym and approached a machine I had never used before. After a few minutes of awkward attempts, an instructor came over and politely informed me I was using it completely wrong. The worst part? It was the stretching machine, and I thought it was for abs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 297

You deserved it 263

How is this my problem?

By Anonymous - 10/06/2025 09:00 - United Kingdom - Beckton

Today, my manager and I were talking about one of our new hires, who I have been getting on well with already. My manager is happy with the newbie's work, but not with their interactions with our coworkers. Yeah… that's on me. My bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 297

You deserved it 133

Sure about that?

By Anonymous - 27/05/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I told my dad that my boyfriend and I were thinking about moving in together. Without missing a beat, he looked at my boyfriend and said, “Brave man. You sure you want to sign up for 24/7 mood swings and hair in the drain?” My boyfriend laughed. A little too hard for my liking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 297

You deserved it 320

"Who wants a dessert?"

By Lewis - 27/12/2018 00:30 - France - Paris

I made a huge mistake...

I agree, your life sucks 297

You deserved it 89

Beautiful mind

By Anonymous - 21/03/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I failed a Rorschach test. How do you fail a Rorschach test? WTF. FML

I agree, your life sucks 297

You deserved it 118

Cough up

By Thilo Pieper - 24/10/2025 15:00

Today, I missed a free flight paid by the company I was supposed to work for, because I was sick. I was then told that I had to pay myself later. Should I have never gotten so sick that I had to miss that flight? FML

I agree, your life sucks 297

You deserved it 110

Lesson learned

By Anonymous - 02/05/2026 22:00 - United States - Palatka

Today, I came two times in a row, for the first time in my life. I'm 45 years-old and I was using my dildo on my myself. I was thinking of my ex, so that's proof my dildo is better. I've been missing out on myself for decades. FML

I agree, your life sucks 297

You deserved it 135

Why is the last mile the hardest mile?

By oldhabitsdiehard - 03/07/2022 14:00 - Netherlands - Wageningen

Today, I'm supposed to hand in my Master's thesis. I only very vaguely remember my enthusiasm of six months ago, but remember clearly that - this time - I was planning to start in time and avoid last-minute stress. Seeing the sun come up at 5 a.m. tells me that it was a tad too optimistic. Just ten more hours to go… FML

I agree, your life sucks 296

You deserved it 1 092

Whoops

By Anonymous - 08/01/2021 23:01

Today, I had a very important video call for my job. I hadn’t used the particular app in a long time so I hadn’t checked my screen name. Turns out the last time I used it was in March with my friends, and my name was "Euro Slut." My employers saw it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 296

You deserved it 1 127

Confusing

By Anonymous - 23/10/2025 00:00

Today, I messed up again. Every time I like a girl, something goes wrong, either because of me or my friend. She was supposed to hang out with us, but she brought a friend who’s my friend’s ex, and he wouldn’t go with her. I had to choose, and I chose my friend over an uncertain relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 296

You deserved it 236

Just swallow it

By Crazy kid - 18/06/2026 15:00 - United States - Yuba City

Today, I was in class when I coughed up so much snot inside my mouth. It was so gross, I couldn’t talk. I raised my hand to go over to the sink to spit it out but I couldn’t talk and he didn’t understand, so I just got up and walked over. A few kids in the back saw me do it and said, "Ewwww." Everyone stared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 296

You deserved it 111

Freudian slip

By Anonymous - 01/06/2022 14:00 - United States - Mandan

Today, I’ve been looking for a new job for a while now, after being at my current job for 6 years. I was offered an interview for a job I was really excited about. I went to text my boyfriend about the job interview and ended up sending the text to my boss instead. I guess the cat's out of the bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 296

You deserved it 1 152

Thoughts and prayers

By Anonymous - 16/04/2022 06:00 - United States - Granby

Today, I feel guilty masturbating to Russian porn on the hub. Then I feel even more guilty because that's just wrong, because people in Ukraine and Russia both have much bigger problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 296

You deserved it 1 211

Let's grow old together

By Eric - 20/11/2025 03:00

Today, I stood up wrong from the toilet, leading to me pulling a muscle in both of my thighs, just above the knees. This made me feel old, and even older when I immediately remembered this website from when I was still young. I'm 29 now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 296

You deserved it 122

Fridge Fail

By FML Approved - 24/10/2017 03:00 - United States - New York

Yeah... That was just stupid.

I agree, your life sucks 296

You deserved it 455

Hot hot hot

By Anonymous - 13/07/2025 20:00 - United States - Warren

Today, I visited my mom because I don't see her much due to her living 30 minutes away from me. They just recently fixed their AC. A few hours before I was about to leave, it broke again. I tried to be patient but it heated up to over 80 degrees inside, and I'm really sensitive to heat. Thankfully they weren't offended. FML

I agree, your life sucks 296

You deserved it 194

Love U 2

By Kellie99 - 03/08/2026 22:00 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, for some unknown reason, I called my boss "Mum" at the end of a meeting. She paused, smiled, and said, "Aww, love you too, kiddo." The rest of the team in the room lost it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 296

You deserved it 186

School sucks

By Anonymous - 08/03/2025 00:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I had a substitute for science and I was standing at the stationary table when some other guy came over and made the thing wobble. The whole thing fell over and I got all the blame. Then I was sitting with my friends at lunch but another friend came back right when my crush was gonna sit next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 296

You deserved it 150

I have needs

By Anonymous - 15/10/2025 20:00

Today, it's been a few months since my wife and I have been intimate due to her health, so I have urges but out of respect I don't act on. However, while I was showering, I was scrubbing my dick and I immediately busted all over the shower curtain. I had a walk of shame to inform my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 296

You deserved it 206

Overwhelmed

By Anonymous - 02/03/2023 14:00

Today, I tried to take a selfie with a famous celebrity, but I accidentally hit the video record button and recorded myself walking away from them instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 296

You deserved it 788

Classic manipulation

By Anonymous - 16/05/2026 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband admitted he sometimes gets me ragingly jealous of other women on purpose because when I’m jealous I put in more effort in the bedroom and it’s easier to get me to do anal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 296

You deserved it 487

Cool

By Pauline - 14/12/2025 00:00

Today, I bought a new shirt I thought looked cool. At work, three people complimented me, then each one added a variation of, “My dad has the same one!” By lunch, my confidence had left the building entirely. A coworker even asked if I’d gotten it from the “retro section.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 295

You deserved it 170

Slice of life

By Anonymous - 07/09/2025 15:00 - Netherlands - Creil

Today, my son was crying because he wanted to listen to a song that he and Daddy listen to. My husband is at work and I can't reach him. I've looked and looked for the song but I can't find it. My husband has such wack taste in music I don't know where to look, and my son is too upset to help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 295

You deserved it 71

Jason is a big wuss

By Jason McGinnis - 11/12/2021 07:39

Today, something bad happened and I posted an FML, only to have a caption with a judgemental comment thrown on the top by some desk jockey asshat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 295

You deserved it 955

When I ask a coworker for help

By Lewis - 04/12/2018 18:00

I must admit, sometimes I am the coworker...

I agree, your life sucks 295

You deserved it 92

By Steven - 14/07/2023 16:00

Today, I went for a drive to clear my head of relationship issues. That night, I got pulled over. Lost the car and my license. I texted my girlfriend, saying I was sorry; she left. Lost her too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 295

You deserved it 940

ASMR

By Anonymous - 28/06/2026 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend has a secret video folder of lesbians kissing from movies, TV shows, and games like The Last of Us, Arcane, Georgia and Ginny, and so on. He says it’s his ASMR folder because something about lesbian kissing noises is extra relaxing and helps him sleep. Yeah, right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 295

You deserved it 140

Change of plans

By Somebody fucking kill me! - 12/08/2025 12:00 - Mexico

Today, as I was going to hook up with a sex friend, I discovered that my pack of condoms was missing. Then I saw my sister chewing out her two 10-year-old twins, who'd found them in my drawer. This how my family, who had visited me for family dinner, found out about my sexual life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 295

You deserved it 129

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The Top

Today, a man approached my delivery van and asked for change for a $5 bill. I guess I should've expected him to grab the change and run off with the extra money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 737

You deserved it 6 655

Today, I called my seven-year old son to help me with the ice-maker on the fridge because it wasn't working. Without even pausing, he turned the child lock off and started laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 529

You deserved it 39 239

Today, I found out where my favorite shirt has been for the last six months. My ex-fiancé's new girlfriend is wearing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 445

You deserved it 2 405

Today, I finished doing a resume that I had spent three hours on. I e-mailed it to the business I was applying for, satisfied. I decided to look it over. The first thing I notice, I spelt my own name wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 263

You deserved it 54 473

Today, I was touching myself under the sheets at 2:00 a.m. when my very drunk dad walked into the room. I was afraid to move my hand for fear of getting caught red-handed, so I had a 30 minute conversation with him with my fingers still inside me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 538

You deserved it 949

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met online. We hit it off, and he invited me back to his place. As soon as we got there, his mother came out of nowhere and started interrogating me about "my intentions." FML

I agree, your life sucks 931

You deserved it 176