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The all-time greatest FMLs

By Lena - 03/03/2012 00:39 - France

Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was really trying to give me back my keys that I'd dropped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 825

Bye bye

By Dan - 17/11/2020 22:58

Today, I fell asleep at work. I got woke up by my boss with a coffee and a referral letter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 1 108

Not technically front row, then

By Jenny - 09/06/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, after I bought front-row tickets thanks to six months of saving, it was finally showtime. The person in front of me turned out to be really, really tall and wore a cowboy hat the entire show. Every photo I took looks like I paid $300 to watch the back of a hat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 91

What would you do?

By Anonymous - 28/05/2024 14:00 - Philippines - Bacoor

Today, I don't know what to do. I like my BFF, and I really don't know what to do. I want to confess my feelings for her, but I don't think she will like me back because we're only supposed to be friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 193

Looney tunes

By It does grow on trees - 21/12/2024 12:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I spotted a $20 bill on the ground. As I bent down to pick it up, the wind blew it away. I ended up running after it like a cartoon character, only to watch it get stuck up a tree. I did consider climbing up said tree, but with my luck I would've fallen off and had to pay 100 times more in hospital bills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 123

Little bundle of fluff

By Anonymous - 23/09/2025 22:00

Today, I have concluded that my new girlfriend is a cat. She ignores me 99% of the day, nuzzles me when she does want attention, gets the zoomies randomly twice a day, her snoring legit sounds like she’s purring, and when she gets real mad, she scratches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 115

Looking the part

By Steampunk Woes - 29/04/2024 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I did a themed circus performance, then went out to small club afterwards, still in my outfit. Three people asked me to join them and chat. Apparently they thought I was ''a strung out prostitute on ketamine'' and ''didn't want anything bad to happen to (me)''. I guess I looked like a Victorian-era hooker? FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 207

Body issues

By Anonymous - 27/05/2026 09:00 - South Africa - Brakpan

Today, while I'm in the depths of postpartum blues and insecurities, my grandmother in-law gifted me a size 22 pair of jeans that does not fit her. I'm a size 12. I started crying and fake choked so that nobody would notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 87

Donut scandal

By Not a Kevin here - 10/06/2026 15:00 - Philippines

Today, in the doughnut shop I usually go to, I bought 3 dozen to take home. A new clerk rang me up and, with an attitude, said the store is cashless only now. Despite me showing cash to pay with like I always do, I was judged by other customers as if I was a deadbeat. She then threw a fit for cancelling and returning the items. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 90

Catfishing for fun

By Anonymous - 24/09/2025 03:00

Today, I got tired of my girlfriend always leaving the conversation when we chat, so I changed my number and email address, and texted her under a different name. We talked for hours non stop. Should I tell her it's me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 142

Mom knows best

By Anonymous - 16/08/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, my mom once again told me that I'm too young and immature to get married, and that I don't know what love is. I'm 29, have a successful career, own my own home, and am financially stable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 67

You do you

By JesstheMess - 22/02/2025 00:00 - United States - Albertville

Today, dieting is making me depressed and I'm so hungry. I don't even care about losing weight, but my boyfriend is and he's doing a low fat diet with me for my health, so I'm going to do the low calorie thing with him. I also feel like I'm not doing well enough in the gym and it's hurting so bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 212

Read the room

By Anonymous - 11/10/2022 22:00

Today, I was teaching and a boy sitting in front kept laughing and smiling, even after I asked him to cut it out. I got so annoyed that I jokingly said I'd knock his teeth out, and asked him to leave the class. The kid went to the principal and told him I intended to hurt him. I'm a college professor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 1 540

Squishy or non-squishy?

By Rune - 09/02/2026 09:00

Today, I went to the bathroom. On my way back, I found a small piece of trash in the hallway so I picked it up. It was cat poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 110

You're next

By Anonymous - 16/05/2026 00:00 - United Kingdom - Alnwick

Today, a woman who badly needed to change her incontinence pad sat next to me on the bus. I could smell it through my mask. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 76

Group solidarity

By Anonymous - 31/05/2026 00:00 - United States - Cicero

Today, I was in group therapy, talking about my disordered eating habits and suppressed appetite from meds, and how I've been struggling to eat. One group member, who was definitely not listening to me, suggested I try Zepbound because his mom is thinner than me and she uses it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 86

Truth bomb

By Anonymous - 04/12/2023 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my 4 year-old daughter thought it was funny that the chicken on her plate and chickens on farms are called the same name. I had my mouth full so I couldn’t stop my rotten eldest son from saying, “That’s because chicken is dead chickens.” Cue her crying while my son cackled like a sociopath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 521

Short Queen

By Anonymous - 14/08/2024 16:00 - United States - Lafayette

Today, it's my 36th birthday. My boyfriend and I celebrated with a big group of our friends, our families, and their kids. Everyone there was taller than me, including my friend's 10 year-old son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 120

Recovery

By Anonymous - 20/08/2026 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I am recovering from surgery, so even though my mom could burn cold water, I was forced to let her cook for me. Thanks to her cooking, I’ve now shit my body weight in brown water, and I need her help to get on the toilet. She doesn’t always get me there in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 55

Cats with jobs

By Anonymous - 14/03/2023 15:00

Today, I sent my boss a picture of my cat instead of the report I was supposed to send. He replied, "Maybe I should've hired him instead of you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 981

Scarfing it down

By Anonymous - 25/03/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, my mom sent me home with some delicious-looking BBQ ribs because I'd missed a cookout due to work. I set them on the counter, intent on putting them in the oven, but had to make a quick run to the bathroom. I came back to find my roommate's cat sitting in the plate, covered in sauce, as he helped himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 435

Thank you, kind stranger

By naive - 10/07/2026 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I spent twenty minutes helping an elderly man figure out how to use the self-checkout. When we'd finished, he smiled, thanked me, then walked away… without paying for any of his groceries. The cashier assumed I was with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 81

Referees

By Anonymous - 25/06/2026 12:00 - United States - Newark

Today, my very very loud upstairs neighbor's children got ahold of athletic whistles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 57

Simply having a wonderful Xmas time!

By Anonymous - 10/12/2025 09:00

Today, I came home and told my husband that I got my own Christmas present so he would have something to give me at the family gathering. He asked me if it was wrapped. I said it was. He said, "Nice." No follow up questions at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 131

Rough patch

By Anonymous - 26/01/2026 20:00

Today, my husband won’t have sex with me anymore because he can’t be bothered. That’s been his excuse for almost three weeks, but he insists there’s nothing wrong, he just doesn’t want to. For reference, we had sex almost every day before this, so this is very abnormal behavior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 88

Is your dad called Jordan?

By emily - 22/06/2026 00:00 - United States - Denver

Today, my dad insists I have to deep clean my bathroom multiple times a day, because in his words: “Once a day just isn’t cutting it.” I have depression. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 104

You little devil

By Awakened - 07/01/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, my cat learned that smacking his feather toy against the metal barrel I store it in will result in a loud and irritating sound that gets me out of bed fast. Taking it out and putting it on the floor doesn't work, because he learned how to pick it up and drop it in the barrel. My cat is a goddamn genius. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 196

Was it worth it?

By Anonymous - 08/01/2026 22:00

Today, I was supposed to have my last interview for my dream job at a tech firm in Dubai. Instead, I spent my last few days in Dubai in hospital and now I am back in Denmark, on heavy antibiotics and painkillers, and two weeks sick leave away from a job I hate already. Then there's also a huge hospital bill to pay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 81

Check these out!

By Imdeadalready - 11/07/2023 00:02 - United States - Portage

Today, I meant to send a nice picture of the flowers my boyfriend got me set up in a vase on my nightstand. Turns out I sent it to his mom. My vibrator was in the shot. I'm mortified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 971

Brave

By Veronica - 25/01/2025 12:00 - Germany - Berlin

Today, I showed my new haircut to my friends. One of them said, "Wow, it’s brave to try something different." I didn’t realize that "brave" was code for "bad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 362

You deserved it 130

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The Top

Today, my dad got angry with me for not watching "Better Call Saul" with him, because he thinks it will help me with law school. He did this while I was actually reading for a class taught by the top health law professor in the country. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 484

You deserved it 1 325

Today, my 14 year old brother and 9 year old sister were fighting. My brother said "You suck!" to my sister, and she replied with "You swallow!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 850

You deserved it 3 712

Today, I had a one-night stand. After holding in my farts all night, as you should, I decided enough was enough and tried to calmly let one slip out. One did not calmly slip out; instead I shat myself in her bed. I was naked at the time, so was unable to hide it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 201

You deserved it 16 917

Today, I took the bus home. A bum sat next to me. Reeking with alcohol and sweat, he pulls out a pair of nail clippers and clips his grimy finger nails. With every clip, the nails would fly up and hit me. As I was about to ask him to stop, a nail flies into my mouth. I swallowed it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 134 846

You deserved it 13 393

Today, my husband has been isolating for 6 days in our bedroom, with me sleeping in the spare room, since his positive COVID test. I found instructions for how to fake the positive result on our shared iPad. He lied to get out of work, my birthday, and my parents' anniversary party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 061

You deserved it 271

Today, my application for a holiday role at a department store was declined because I was "not as qualified as some other candidates." I worked this exact same job at this exact same store last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 94