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The all-time greatest FMLs

Attitude

By Anonymous - 18/02/2024 00:00 - United States - Port Orchard

Today, I've decided that I am destined to be unhappy. I seem to get too invested in the ones who don't care. Including my current marriage, which is inevitably doomed no matter how much effort I put into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 207

Bent out of shape

By Anonymous - 28/06/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom - Clydebank

Today, I went for a massage because my shoulder's been hurting for months but I can't take decent painkillers because they'd react with my anti-depressants. It STILL hurts, but worse, across my upper spine, and I can't tilt my head back. I paid to look like The Hunchback of Notre Dame doing a swan impression. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 148

Bad guy, duh

By sonowwhatdoido - 13/04/2026 22:00 - United States - Greenville

Today, I was supposed to have dinner with my best guy friend, (He’s gay. It’s platonic) but he never showed up.I waited for 30 minutes in the rain, texted and called, but he’s not here. This is the day after he “pranked” me by telling me the guy I like likes me back. I have no idea what’s going on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 84

Pop off

By Anonymous - 24/04/2025 20:00 - Germany - Tostedt

Today, I couldn’t wait to get home and get my boyfriend naked, which I did. Although, to be honest, popping every single pimple in the rash on his back was not the kind of foreplay I had had in mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 128

Under the hood

By Anonymous - 03/04/2022 12:00

Today, I blanked and forgot to take out my piercing before going for my MRI, even though the nurses asked me multiple times to make sure I had no metal on me before entering, you know, the big machine made of massive electromagnets. The piercing was on my clitoris. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 1 723

On the ropes

By Nicky - 24/03/2026 15:00

Today, I'm in bed pretending to sleep because I don't want to see my husband. He's manipulative and a jerk to me some times. I just don't want to deal with him anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 174

Holy crap

By Anonymous - 14/07/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I’m at my third ER visit in a week for an extremely painful ovarian cyst. The people next to me are reading aloud from a Christian Science book. I’m in hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 93

By Mouhahaa - 09/05/2012 03:48 - France

Today, my wife stabbed my hand with a fork, making it bleed. I'd only tried to take some fries from her plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 384

Rural charm

By jlc82 - 17/02/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, the most exciting thing going on in my hometown is a that cow escaped its slaughterhouse transport, only to be put down by our highway patrol. He's got his own Facebook page and everything. Welcome to Ohio. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 137

Overenthusiastic

By Anonymous - 09/06/2025 09:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I tried to pick my wife up and put her on the worktop for some oral fun, and when I say "tried" I mean I failed. My back spasmed for the first time in my life and I sort of threw her into the fridge door. I’m now in agony, she’s mad that I “think she’s fat”, and the fridge has a dent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 138

It's the thought that counts, right?

By Anonymous - 10/05/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, I was once again sent tons of Mother's Day cards in the mail, even though my son died years ago and I've told people that I'm not a mother anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 94

Handle with care

By Frankly - 26/06/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, my dad and two of his hunting buddies started a true crime podcast. It's as bad as you can imagine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 124

Crybabies

By PooperParty - 05/04/2021 11:00

Today, I had an Easter Egg Hunt in my backyard for my kids. When they collected all the eggs, they opened them and to their dismay there was no candy inside. When I bought them, I thought they already came with candy. It’s been two hours and my kids won’t stop crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 1 842

Don't follow your dreams, kids!

By Anonymous - 06/07/2025 20:00 - Belgium - Schelle

Today, after years of study and hard work, I fulfilled my long time dream of becoming a neurologist. Too bad it took me so long to figure out I absolutely hate working in a hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 138

Daddy issues

By Tom - 29/12/2024 00:00 - Canada - Etobicoke

Today, I ended a relationship because she told me that I was "like a father." FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 146

Woowoo alert!

By Anonymous - 01/08/2025 09:00 - France - Nantes

Today, as a student in a science preparatory class and a geology enthusiast, I walked into a rare stone shop. A saleswoman was praising the healing properties of a piece of malachite to a customer. Curious, I looked over my shoulder and exclaimed, "Oh! Raw copper ore!" I got banned from the shop. Occupational hazard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 111

Bad romance

By wtf - 26/11/2022 06:00

Today, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me for not closing the door when I pooped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 1 383

Humblebrag

By Anonymous - 05/11/2024 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife is upset because at a party we took part in an X-rated 'Never Have I Ever', which exposed how filthy I was with past girlfriends, and how boring our sex life is. I’d done almost everything, while she, who’s only ever been with me, had only done 5 things off the list of about 40. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 352

Neglect

By Very caring parents - 26/02/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I'm staying at my parents' house. I was woken up by the fan in my bedroom falling down. I calmly picked it back up and went to bed, wondering why my parents weren't concerned at all. My mom said she figured it was nothing, and when my dad tried to say something, she retorted, "You didn't even wake up!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 117

I ate being proved right

By Anonymous - 06/12/2025 12:00

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of three years cheated on me with his ''sister-like friend." It's the girl I was always worried about, and half our arguments were about her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 89

See you around, then

By Joanna B - 25/09/2025 12:00

Today, at the end of my great grandmother's funeral, her daughter (my grandma) told me and my mother that she doesn’t have a reason to come back and visit anymore, and that everyone in her life is now gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 67

Gimme a human

By I HATE THESE BOTS - 03/01/2026 22:00

Today, I spent ten minutes annoyingly arguing with a customer service chatbot, demanding to speak to a real human. When a real human finally joined, they opened with, “So... I see you’ve been yelling at my robot.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 118

It's too cold for this shit

By Anonymous - 09/01/2026 09:00

Today, some absolute scumbucket cut the straps of the cover I put over my windscreen, so this morning it was completely iced over. It only delayed me by about 10 minutes but still… what a shitty thing to do to someone first thing in the snowy morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 54

Surprise, MFer!

By Anonymous - 04/09/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I went to use a public restroom. I walked into the first stall and found it occupied… by a raccoon. It hissed at me, and in my panic, I backed into a janitor's cart, knocking over the mop and bucket. I had to leave the bathroom drenched in dirty water while a crowd of people watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 108

Bad sign

By Kate - 17/10/2024 20:00 - Canada - London

Today, my doctor asked if I had any "unusual stress." I laughed and said, "I’ve been crying in the shower, does that count?" He paused, looked at me seriously, and said, "Yes. Yes, it does." FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 147

Couponed off

By Uber scammed me - 12/05/2024 12:00 - Sweden - Haegersten

Today, I was going to an event with my friends and I'd told them I could pay for an Uber since I had a coupon for 70% off. It was only going to cost 5 bucks, but later I looked at my bank statement and an additional 15 bucks was taken from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 114

By CatLitterLover - 08/02/2011 06:51 - United States

Today, I dropped my Xanax. It wasn't until after I washed it down with some water that I realized it was still on the floor and I had actually swallowed a pebble of cat litter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 133

How romantic!

By Anonymous - 15/02/2026 09:00

Today, it’s Valentine’s Day. My boyfriend promised me that instead of a packed chain restaurant we would have “dinner under the stars.” We ended up having Slurpees and Slim Jims in the 7-Eleven parking lot. He called me ungrateful for not appreciating his “romantic gesture.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 161

You look like you've seen a ghost

By Anonymous - 16/10/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I was being ghosted by the person I’d been talking to online for three months. I was heartbroken, but then I noticed a message notification pop up from him. Excited, I opened it up, only to see, "Sorry, wrong person." FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 108

Home renovation

By Anonymous - 22/11/2024 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was cleaning my lazy son’s bedroom when I knocked a full cup out the window, complete with a layer of mould. It landed on the dog, covering him in mouldy, milky coffee. He ran inside, shook it off everywhere, then rolled around to really make sure it was smushed deep into the carpet fibres. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 309

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, I rode my newly-purchased bicycle to Lowe's to look at flooring and back splashes for our upcoming remodel. Upon leaving the store, I found out that my bicycle had been stolen by someone who had bought a hacksaw from that store while I was shopping. They left the receipt to mock me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 587

You deserved it 804

Today, I found out that turkeys can fly. I also found out how much a new windshield costs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 165

You deserved it 2 952

Today, while at the beach, as a joke, I told my girlfriend that I was a shark. She then poked my eyes and punched me in the nose. When I started to get mad, she just shrugged and asked, "What? You're the one that wanted to be a shark. Don't you watch Shark Week?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 927

You deserved it 31 307

Today, my four-year-old son received a 20 Euro bill from his grandmother. Since he couldn't fit the bill into his piggy bank, he tore it up into a bunch of tiny pieces to make it fit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 559

You deserved it 600

Today, when I went to the bathroom, I found an earwig in my underpants. Yes, it was alive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 72

Today, my 5 year-old son told me that while I was at work, “Daddy was blowing up Aunt Heather’s balloons.” When I talked to my husband about this, he hastily told me it was for her birthday party. Her birthday is in July. Nice save… not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 101