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The all-time greatest FMLs

Secrets and lies

By Nicky - 27/03/2026 15:00

Today, my husband had a 'come to Jesus' moment where he confessed he has been lying to me our entire marriage about everything, from relationships with women I have suspected to what he ate for lunch. He does not know why he lies about the little things, he said he wants to "know something that you don't." FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 64

Watergate II: Pig in the City

By Anonymous - 06/06/2025 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I learned my hotel room had the shittiest blinds ever and that if you want true privacy you need to shut the curtains. I discovered this after three wives from the opposite windows complained I’d been flashing their husbands when I got out of the shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 132

Brave move

By Anonymous - 12/09/2024 14:00

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by sending a GIF. Not a sad one either. It was a GIF of some dude disappearing into thin air. Ten out of ten for originality, but come on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 85

Sorority

By New mom - 01/12/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I am five days postpartum and my sister came over to see me. After she refused to help me with dishes or do the laundry or grab dinner, I angrily asked why she even came. She replied, "Uh… to meet the baby? You're not entitled to my help, you know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 758

Sex ed failure

By Anonymous - 01/02/2025 20:00

Today, in the heat of losing our virginity, I asked him to “suck my clit, suck my clit, oh god please suck my clit.” He stopped what he was doing and asked me, “What’s a clit?” I almost strangled him. Don’t date boys homeschooled by single mamas, they’ll break your heart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 307

Stealth bomb

By gassy - 03/03/2021 11:01 - Australia - Morwell

Today, my boyfriend and I were setting up a desktop PC we'd bought second-hand. In the middle of this, he stopped, frowning, sniffed the air a few times and said we'd better give it a good dust, because it smelt like burning. I'd just farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 930

Free healthcare when?

By Anonymous - 22/04/2024 14:00 - United States - Warren

Today, after my dad hurt his shoulder, it turns out nothing is broken but we don't know anything else. He might have a rotator cuff tear, which will require surgery, and he's already been out of work for a week after he got rehired from being laid off. He's starting to lean on me financially and I get SSI only. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 117

Must stay productive

By Anonymous - 19/01/2026 12:00

Today, I experienced my third day in a row with visual aura causing a migraine. I informed my safety and human resources departments, who both offered help. When I went to tell my supervisor, she told me that women experience this all the time and I need to learn to deal with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 84

Little shit

By Anonymous - 12/12/2021 16:58

Today, while at a family reunion, I jokingly asked my 18-year-old son, "When are you and your girlfriend going to give me a grandson?" He then retorted, "When are you going to die?" I was unable to answer at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 1 763

Trash takes itself out

By Used - 02/12/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I went to wish one of my friends a happy birthday on his Facebook wall, only to see that I was blocked. Turns out, he blocked me because he'd developed a crush on me for some time and couldn’t stand seeing the posts between me and my new boyfriend. So basically I can only be his friend if I’m single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 189

USA! USA! USA!

By Anonymous - 04/02/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, yet another American sports team was shown to be monsters (New Orleans Saints). Helping to cover up children predators should be exposed, not swept under the rug. I hate being American. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 167

Don't let it come to this

By Anonymous - 27/08/2021 02:01

Today, we had the cops called on us because my son was panicking so much about his first COVID jab, his older sister got fed up, took him outside, put him in a headlock and choked him unconscious so the nurse could jab him. Instead, the nurse called the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 1 292

Keeping up

By guy - 18/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, lots of guys my age are confident and in the best shape of their life. I've been working out since high-school. However, since I turned 20, my body has become increasingly injury prone on my joints and tendons from wear and tear. I feel like I'm slowly breaking down and I'm only 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 99

Full of himself

By Anonymous - 21/05/2026 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, during a Tinder date, the guy spent a solid hour talking about the Tinder date he went on yesterday with someone else. Honestly, I only stayed to the end because the restaurant was excellent. The guy was actually confused when I split the bill and didn’t want to have sex with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 74

I didn't mean to hurt you, I'm sorry that I made you cry

By jenni - 06/04/2021 20:00

Today, my seven-year-old niece gave me a birthday card. Only she'd spelled my name as ‘Jenny.’ When I told her it was spelled with an i instead of a y, she cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 1 160

Jumping to conclusions

By Anonymous - 07/08/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I’ve been getting death threats after a former friend did a storytime online about me getting rid of my dog after having a baby. She completely left out I had no choice but to rehome my dog because my baby is deathly allergic and had to be hospitalized for breathing problems from the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 85

Little devil

By Girlie - 07/05/2024 00:00 - Canada

Today, I decided to treat myself to a relaxing bubble bath. Mid-soak, I heard a loud crash and realized my cat had knocked over a shelf, sending shampoo bottles and bath salts tumbling into the water. Now I'm stuck cleaning up a soapy mess instead of enjoying my spa time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 176

Malding

By Recessive Reece - 13/08/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I'm the only one in my family who doesn't need glasses and who isn't lactose intolerant. However, I'm the only one in my family rapidly balding at the age of 25. Even my grandparents on both sides have full heads of hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 85

Rude

By Fugly fat slob - 07/10/2025 09:00

Today, a drive-thru customer ordered a deal that includes fries and a drink with the sandwich. When I gave it to her, she screamed at me because she "didn't order fries." When I brought up that the deal includes them, she told me I should have "figured it out," called me a "fugly fat slob," and sped off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 67

Cut your losses

By Sober_smashley - 16/06/2023 10:00

Today, my alcoholic boyfriend, who's in jail for violating his conditional bond, told me I'd better not have even one drop of alcohol while he's gone. Oh, and he expects $250 of commissary each week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 648

Punching

By Sky Deleter - 04/03/2025 22:00 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents for the first time. My dad took one look at him, sighed and said, "You deserve someone better. Someone who is responsible, and has their priorities straight in life." Beyond upset, I told my dad that I love him. My dad disgruntledly responded, "I was talking to him." FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 212

Truth bombs

By Anonymous - 26/07/2025 12:00 - Trinidad and Tobago - Arima

Today, my mother-in-law came home drunk and said to my husband, "I told you not to bring a dumb girl home." I'm a kindergarten teacher with my own private school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 82

By peace_lost - 29/06/2009 22:59 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I walked to her couch while kissing with our eyes closed. Stumbling, we reached the couch and dropped our bodies, her on top of me. What I didn't know was that her kitty, Elvis, was napping. Elvis was very angry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 96

Let me down gently

By Anonymous - 30/06/2026 12:00 - United States - Corona

Today, you know how people say, “The worst thing she can say is ‘No’” when asking a girl out? I found out the hard way that that's a bold faced lie. I asked and she said, “Yeah, I’d rather use a freshly cut jalapeño as a tampon!” then burst into hysterical laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 69

Time flies

By Anonymous - 06/07/2022 22:00

Today, my husband asked if we could have more sex, because we spend every day together, but if he wanted celibacy, he’d have stayed single and spent time with his friends. He then pulled out a diary proving we’ve only had sex twice this year. I was completely unaware it was so infrequent. Whoops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 2 545

Boots on the ground

By Anonymous - 07/03/2024 00:00 - Canada - Gatineau

Today, I learned that my husband is getting deployed for we don’t know how long, and I’ll be left all alone, in a different country far away from home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 206

Baby you can drive my uninsured car

By Anonymous - 07/06/2024 12:00 - Australia

Today, a week after I lost my job, my car was written off by someone rear-ending me, and both parties weren't insured. I tried to look for a new job, but all of them require that you have a vehicle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 173

The squits

By Cliff - 11/10/2024 00:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I got food poisoning from a restaurant that I had chosen for our company party. Everyone who went blamed me for their predicament. I also had to run to the toilet every ten minutes while they were all mad at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 98

Leaky ballon knot

By Kelly - 21/01/2026 03:00

Today, as usual I am allergic to onions (I fart A LOT if I eat any). It seems there were some in my breakfast sausage meal as I spent the day having major diarrhea; I'm shitting once an hour. That would be okay if I'd stayed home, but my sister asked me to pick her up at school. Guess who shit herself while driving… FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 112

Should I stay or should I go?

By Anonymous - 26/07/2026 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend got drunk and said it was a shame that two handsome guys across the room were gay, because real men like that were perfect for marrying and having babies with. She has let me know many times she does not want to marry or have babies. Guess it’s just me she doesn’t want them with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 426

You deserved it 98

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The Top

Today, I went to celebrate Thanksgiving with my family. I watched as my uncle and his girlfriend snuck off to the bathroom together, where they stayed until someone else tried to get in. When they came out, she was wiping her mouth. I need new eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 116

You deserved it 4 117

Today, the crazy cat lady who lives next to me lost one of her cats. She sat outside with a whistle at 6:00 this morning and continued to blow her whistle for hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 943

You deserved it 2 728

Today, I was changing my shirt in the bathroom when I dropped it. It fell on my foot, so I decided to flip it up with my foot instead of bending down to get it. I flipped it, and it landed in the toilet. Which somebody had not flushed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 352

You deserved it 35 679

Today, I was working at the grocery store and a very old woman wanted to give me a tip for bagging her groceries. She slid a quarter into my pocket against my thigh as deep down as she could get it, then she gave me a smile and a wink. I was groped by a grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 403

You deserved it 4 441

Today, my boyfriend told me about a girl who he loved a few years ago. He said, "She was extremely beautiful, and I fell for her for a long time. But it's like with universities, everyone wants to study at Harvard but finally ends up in a regular university that they can afford." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 209

You deserved it 129

Today, I got an eviction notice. I confronted my roommate, who’s supposed to be covering rent with the half I give her. She said, “Uhhh, about that.. I got Lady Gaga orchestra seat tickets, do you mind covering rent for a while and I’ll pay you back?” She makes three times my income and I can’t afford rent by myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 421

You deserved it 148