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The all-time greatest FMLs

Time to get a bike!

By Anonymous - 10/03/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I have to get up at 6 a.m. each day to make it to a class at 8 because of commuter traffic. The college has decided to eliminate an entire parking lot right next to the building where my class takes place, to build a parking garage, which will take 2 years. The only open parking is a field clear across the campus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 136

By winneuse - 05/06/2015 02:30 - France - Allennes-les-marais

Today, for the first time since kindergarten, I won! I came first! Yes, I'm first on the waiting list for the M.A. degree I applied to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 452

You deserved it 53

Tilt

By Imwithstupid - 03/06/2024 00:00 - United States - Tulsa

Today, it's the third time this year I was recommended to meet someone because we're "so smart, we'll get along." At dinner, this person complimented how I'd do great in their graduate course on data science. I helped develop the degree program. I can't believe I missed pinball for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 452

You deserved it 265

Stars of CCTV

By Anonymous - 07/07/2024 12:00 - Australia

Today, I went grocery shopping and tried the self-checkout for the first time. I managed to scan everything except a bag of grapes, which I then dropped, causing them to scatter all over the floor. As I scrambled to pick them up, I slipped on a grape and fell flat on my back. The security footage must have been comedy gold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 452

You deserved it 144

Eff this, eff that!

By Anonymous - 31/03/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, my apartment neighbors just had a baby, meaning the only place I can have my morning Teams meetings when I'm not at the office is at my parents' house. Mid-meeting, as I was giving my report, my dad came up the hall, loudly dropping strings of curses. Even though I tried to mute my mic, my boss heard enough; hello, reprimand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 452

You deserved it 132

BPD

By The 3 C's of BPD - 19/03/2026 22:00

Today, my boyfriend is blaming me for his recent diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder. Apparently, I should have just kept on tolerating all of his explosive outbursts, instead of "forcing" him to start couples' therapy with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 452

You deserved it 77

Purple haze

By Not a good sign - 19/08/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, my mom has fibromyalgia. Besides chronic pain, another common symptom of this is frequent brain fog. I realized just how bad it can be today when she asked ME, with complete seriousness, "How old am I?" I thought I'd misheard, but nope - that's exactly what she said. This is more of an FML for her, but… FML

I agree, your life sucks 452

You deserved it 85

Overrun

By Anonymous - 30/10/2025 03:00

Today, after I warned my wife that keeping chickens wouldn’t be easy but no, she insisted on having 20 roaming around and at some point a wild cockerel got in, plus she clearly wasn’t finding all the eggs so a bunch of hidden eggs have started hatching. What once was 20 is now 67 and rising. FML

I agree, your life sucks 452

You deserved it 105

Sensitive

By Anonymous - 26/11/2024 00:00 - United States - Santa Fe

Today, I sneezed so hard in a café that I scared a toddler, who screamed, causing another patron to drop their coffee. It was a chain reaction of chaos, all thanks to my nose's sensitivity to the smell of knock-off perfume wafting from a dude at the table next to ours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 452

You deserved it 136

On the pull

By Anonymous - 09/06/2025 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, in a bar, I had to remind my brother that the bar was not open to the public, it was booked for a private party. Our family reunion in fact, so the girl he was “this close to pulling” was actually our Welsh cousin we’d never met before. He almost became a redneck stereotype. FML

I agree, your life sucks 452

You deserved it 98

Food for thought

By Anonymous - 23/12/2023 15:00 - Australia - Buderim

Today, after many years of being one of the best workers anywhere I worked, and being superhuman, I now have to accept that I may never be able to work full time again. Why? Because apparently I haven't been properly digesting food since I was 16 and I'm now 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 452

You deserved it 146

By [...] - 12/12/2013 14:28 - France - Vaulx-en-velin

Today, while waiting in the queue at a supermarket checkout, my three-year-old daughter yells out, "Mom! Mom! Is that a man or a lady in front?" Embarrassed, I reply, "Honey, can't you see that it's a... it's a... a..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 452

You deserved it 74

Gamer bros

By honey poopoo - 25/03/2024 09:00 - Germany - Landshut

Today, I learned that my friend is selling his PlayStation 5. A few weeks ago I bought a PlayStation 5 to be able to play with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 452

You deserved it 130

By anonymous - 19/07/2012 22:31 - United States

Today, I was at work when a cute guy came up to me and said he liked my shirt. In a desperate attempt to say something back, I said, "Thanks, I like your shoelaces." FML

I agree, your life sucks 452

You deserved it 62

Team none of them

By twihard - 11/09/2021 08:00 - United States

Today, I lost a bet with friends and now have to sit and watch all the Twilight movies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 452

You deserved it 941

Choose your moments

By Anonymous - 02/03/2026 03:00

Today, my wife did the 'flash me naked' thing while I was on Zoom with my boss and three board members. She then got mad I didn’t immediately make an excuse to end the call because, hello, board members, and even when I was done she didn’t want sex anymore because clearly I value work more than her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 452

You deserved it 90

Badass

By Anonymous - 07/02/2026 20:00

Today, my grandmother got caught trying to rob a casino. She was planning this for months, and is claiming I was an integral part of the heist. I'm fifteen and had no idea she was planning this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 452

You deserved it 69

Conflict Resolution

By FML Approved - 06/10/2017 03:00

This is basically me during every conflict I've ever witnessed.

I agree, your life sucks 452

You deserved it 114

Newsflash from beyond the grave

By Anonymous - 28/07/2024 22:00 - United States - Salem

Today, I found out my deceased grandmother never liked anything that I bought for her. She would never say anything to not hurt my feelings. The only reason I bought those things in the first place was because growing up she told me that she liked them. Now that she's gone, I'm hearing what she really thought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 452

You deserved it 106

Ball and chain

By Anonymous - 30/06/2026 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I got home and went to hug and kiss my wife. She actively dodged me and gave me a list of nine things she wanted fixed around the house while she was out with her sister. I’m writing this from a pub garden, surrounded by people who actually enjoy my company. Fuck her list. FML

I agree, your life sucks 452

You deserved it 301

By Anonymous - 10/04/2009 21:40 - United States

Today, for the first time ever, a woman saw my penis. I am 30 years old. The woman was my doctor. She snorted to cover a laugh and apologized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 452

You deserved it 48

Britain's got talons

By Anonymous - 15/01/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking down the street when a pigeon flew into my head and got caught in my hair. To make matters worse, a group of kids thought it was hilarious and started filming me with their phones while I screamed in terror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 452

You deserved it 116

Righteous fury

By Anonymous - 30/03/2025 20:00 - United States - Draper

Today, I found out my brother-in-law did time last year for being a pedophile. His mommy told my spouse to tell no one that he served time. I'm the sister-in-law and no one told the sister who has young daughters. The pedo is mommy's precious boy who can't do wrong. He did this time. How dare mommy protect him like that? FML

I agree, your life sucks 452

You deserved it 80

Take a seat

By Anonymous - 04/08/2025 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to sit on my bed in the pitch black and I somehow completely misjudged where I was standing in the room, so I missed the bed entirely and sat down on thin air. With nothing to stop me falling, I landed full bore on my ass and felt my coccyx snap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 452

You deserved it 150

Zoning out

By puppylove - 05/05/2020 08:00

Today, my mother found me staring at my puppy's asshole. She had apparently been standing there for 5 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 452

You deserved it 1 830

Lovely Rita

By Greg - 29/08/2020 05:01

Today, I went to lunch with a friend in her car. I told her to park in a lot that had signs warning that we'd be towed, saying, "They never tow anyone from here. In fact, if you get towed, I'll pay for it." When we returned, her car was gone. I had to pay $145 in cash to get it back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 452

You deserved it 3 681

ALIENS!

By Anonymous - 08/08/2024 09:00 - Australia

Today, I had to give a presentation on ancient civilizations. As a joke, my friend dared me to do the whole thing using puppets, which I thought it would be hilarious. Halfway through, I noticed the look on my professor's face and my classmates giggling. My professor has a phobia of puppets and I was the only one unaware of this fact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 452

You deserved it 174

Teamwork

By Anonymous - 07/12/2024 12:00 - Australia

Today, I spent ages cleaning my house, only for my toddler to spill a box of cereal right when I'd finished. As I cleaned up the mess, the dog dragged the cereal into almost every room. All the floors now have what I can only describe as "surprise crunch zones." FML

I agree, your life sucks 452

You deserved it 126

The whole tooth

By Anonymous - 13/04/2024 00:00 - United States - Lafayette

Today, I finally started feeling better after getting a tooth pulled last week. I also started something else: my period, while I was stuck in the dentist's chair during my follow-up appointment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 452

You deserved it 90

My client…

By Anonymous - 24/03/2026 03:00

Today, in court, I got a kid out of a prison sentence because I genuinely believed he was innocent. He and his mom were so happy, he even hugged me afterwards. It took me a minute to realise he'd pick-pocketed my keys and stole my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 452

You deserved it 192

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The Top

Today, I found out that people know when you're screenshooting their snaps on Snapchat, by the guy I have a crush on, asking me why I keep doing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 128

You deserved it 18 102

Today, I found out the real cause of what I assumed was a healthy increase in my teenage daughter's appetite lately. Some fine young gentlemen with a fat fetish convinced her start gaining weight so they could jack off to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 999

You deserved it 2 040

Today, I was looking after my parents house and their wiener dog, and fell asleep on the couch. The dog climbed onto my shoulders and rested behind my head like a doggie neck pillow. All was great until she farted right in my left ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 844

You deserved it 7 071

Today, my theatre studies professor played a soundscape, then had us write what we thought the meaning was. I thought it was a simulation of what schizophrenia was like. Turns out the teacher bet her friend she could convince us that a bunch of people speaking gibberish meant something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 723

You deserved it 594

Today, it's my third day in the hospital. On Monday, my mother grounded me for not going to school because I was “milking” a sore foot. On Wednesday, we finally went to the ER and it turns out I have a very bad infection in my foot. She refuses to come to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 391

You deserved it 230

Today, our internet is down so I told my daughter to watch a DVD instead. She looked at me dead in the face and asked what a DVD was. To think I even remember VHS tapes. Damn I’m getting old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 714

You deserved it 156