The Top

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The all-time greatest FMLs

It's time to grow up

By Lewis - 27/01/2019 19:00 - France - Paris

Noooooooo!

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 185

Am I the only one?

By Anonymous - 22/02/2025 22:00 - Netherlands - Utrecht

Today, all my coworkers are incompetent and I'm constantly fixing their mistakes. I've tried to help them to make fewer mistakes. They don't care. I've tried talking to their supervisors. They don't care either. I've been escalating matters step by step. I finally talked to the CEO about it. He doesn't care either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 150

No time to mess around

By ArkansasConspiracy - 26/10/2024 09:00 - United States - Cabot

Today, I learned that I'm not registered to vote. Apparently filling out the form and signing it in the county clerk's office was no guarantee and I was supposed to follow up until I received mail confirmation. It's now too late to fix. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 117

Outcast

By Anonymous - 10/04/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I found out the real reason I always had trouble making/keeping friends as a kid and why I wasn’t invited to anything. My parents were aggressive swingers and either successfully fucked, or came on to, every couple wherever we moved. Thanks, you horny bastards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 94

Well, actually…

By Anonymous - 26/04/2022 00:01 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, and almost every day, my mother tells me she loves me, and I say I love her back, even though I don’t. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 784

Skincare routine

By Anonymous - 22/08/2023 14:00 - United States - Cordova

Today, I found a DIY beauty hack online, so as I had nothing better to do and my skin is a mess, I gave it a try. I mixed lemon juice with sugar to exfoliate my face. Little did I know, I had a tiny cut on my cheek. The lemon juice made it feel like my face was on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 383

By Pwnedofthedead - 03/10/2009 15:34 - Canada

Today, I was walking to my friends Halloween themed birthday party in my zombie costume. Apparently, my crazy coke addicted neighbor found the costume too realistic. He tackled me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 38

Scarred for life

By Guess who's back - 10/07/2022 02:00 - Australia - Homebush

Today, in the morning, my wife and I were having hot but silent sex on my futon while our 3 year-old slept in his crib. It was going great until my turn to come when I released a loud, "AARRGHHHHHH". My son promptly got up, took one look at me and his mother's back, then promptly went back to sleep without a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 1 927

Trust

By No, I've never cheated - 20/03/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I found out just how bad my boyfriend's trust issues are, thanks to him being cheated on in the past. He actually had the nerve to ask his 6 year-old son if I had any other men come over while he was at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 135

And I oop

By Anonymous - 03/04/2022 16:00

Today, my mother-in-law, who I love to bits and also work with, came into my office, so I greeted her with our usual, “What now, you old bat?” expecting the usual, “Cost estimates, you cheeky young bleeder.” It wasn’t her, it was the company owner. My mandatory sensitivity training starts Thursday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 1 116

The struggle

By Anonymous - 06/08/2024 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my son came to complain that all he and his girlfriend do is have sex, yet never talk to each other. As his dad, I tried to give him good advice, but as his mom makes me miserable every time she opens her mouth, it was a struggle to think what to say. In fact, he’s living my idea of paradise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 219

No, you don't deserve it

By TooMuchLabor - 12/04/2026 03:00 - Germany - Berlin

Today, my husband abuses me emotionally and manipulates me, in front of our kids too. Now my 7 year-old daughter has started the same behaviour towards me. If I weren't such a coward, I would run far, taking her away, and wouldn't look back, but unfortunately I deserve it for staying I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 235

Boner killer

By Anonymous - 01/06/2024 20:00 - Netherlands - Meliskerke

Today, I woke up without back pain for the first time in a few weeks, so I thought it was a good day for a morning wank. When I was almost there, I felt a sharp pain shoot down my lower back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 177

Clomping hell

By Anonymous - 25/04/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, one of my roommates bought new cowboy boots. He insists on wearing them indoors. Every morning he paces up and down the linoleum areas of the apartment with the boots on until he absolutely has to go to work, waking us up with the clomping noises. I and my other roommate work night and graveyard shifts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 102

Twists and turns

By Anonymous - 12/12/2024 00:00 - United States - Denver

Today, my girlfriend got drunk and started crying, begging me to never break up with her, only for her to say 10 minutes later, "I don’t wanna be with you anymore." Then she asked me if she could buy me some pot, and, "Let’s watch movies." FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 123

Eyes on the prize

By Geeee - 30/10/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, my ex, who “didn’t believe in posting our relationship on social media”, has no problem posting his new girlfriend and showing her off. He acts like he won a very valuable prize with her, and I was left in the shadows for the whole year we dated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 136

Massive

By Anonymous - 28/10/2023 00:02 - Belgium

Today, I had my 28-week ultrasound. Baby is doing well, but has clearly inherited his/her father's growth genetics and currently measures at the 96th percentile. I'm a tiny woman (pre-pregnancy 105lbs). I'm screwed for the delivery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 153

Face reality

By Anonymous - 13/11/2020 17:02

Today, I realized I'm so lonely I would rather pretend I don't know I'm being cheated on than leave. We've been together a year and he's my virtual boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 957

Give it to me

By Anonymous - 20/11/2024 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my parents took my to hospital with headache, cramps, sweats and tremors. The doctor thought I was an drug addict in withdrawal, which, after some questions, turns out I am. I gave up fizzy soda last week and am in total withdrawal from caffeine and all the other addictive chemicals in soda. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 212

FML's Showdown #11

By Louis - 31/05/2017 17:25

Another chance for you to pick your winner of the week. So, who does it for you?

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 133

By Anonymous - 18/08/2019 22:00

Today, I needed to call my mom to get some info so I dialled the number on my work phone. Not 2 seconds after, my cellphone rang. I got super pissed off because I hate when people call me on my cell at work. It was me. I'd dialled my own number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 2 403

Don't panic!

By Anonymous - 19/07/2023 15:00

Today, I had a meeting with our partner company from Japan. I was instructed beforehand on bowing but when the time came I panicked, stood way too close, and headbutted their boss in the boobs. I was “politely” asked to leave the meeting. I’m so embarrassed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 779

Best seat in the house

By Rachey - 10/09/2024 00:00 - Ireland

Today, I was using the toilet at a friend's house when the toilet made a strange gurgling noise. Thinking it was just old plumbing, I flushed. The water started rising... and rising. Before I knew it, water, and whatever was in the toilet, began overflowing and flooding the bathroom. I had to go ask for help, and a mop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 130

Mother knows best

By ninithel - 25/11/2024 03:00 - United Kingdom - Hull

Today, I have fibromyalgia and ADHD. I either have no energy, no focus, or no energy for anything, or I burn out trying to do everything. Meanwhile, my mother is adamant that I can be "cured" if I stop eating sugar. I'm allergic to most sweeteners and she won't believe me, and thinks she knows better than my doc. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 125

The others were too polite

By #MeDD - 04/02/2023 02:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I caught my cousin's husband ogling me at a party. I decided to talk to him, but each time he'd avoid me. Eventually I confronted him about staring at me; he then pointed at the front of my dress, my nipple had slightly snuck out of my low-cut dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 1 923

Reminder

By Anonymous - 21/11/2023 10:00 - Australia - Wacol

Today, I was running a D&D game. I invited my nephew to come along to try and distract him, as his brother took his life two weeks ago. Stupidly, I had only skimmed through the module I was running (as I run multiple) and didn't realise that today's session involved gallows. Guess how his brother took his life? FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 330

These '80s nostalgia trends are getting out of hand

By Anonymous - 15/08/2023 04:00

Today, I was waiting for my boyfriend with wet celery, a flying helmet, a feather duster, and an egg whisk as an 'Allo 'Allo! themed sex joke. He didn’t get it so I had to explain it to him, which kind of ruined the joke. In the end we just spent yet another sexless night, bored, watching TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 357

Misophonia

By Phyllis - 30/01/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, it's almost a week since our intern started. We have an open plan office, so I can't help but hear her talk excitedly. This wouldn't be a bad thing if she didn't stop saying "it's giving…" and "like" every ten words. Our company doesn't allow headphones, so I'm stuck in hell, which, like, is giving, like, you know, pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 121

Nice attempt

By IHaveThePower - 21/09/2023 04:00 - United States

Today, I went down to my congresscritter's office to deliver some paperwork. Somehow, I'd forgotten the pocketknife I kept on me for hiking, from four years ago, back when I could walk consistently. The security guards were kind enough not to laugh at me, at least. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 224

Show some empathy

By Anonymous - 05/02/2023 22:00 - United States - Eagle Mountain

Today, and for the past 3 days, my sister has been whining and crying about her “breakup” with her “boyfriend”. It’s the most annoying thing ever and I haven’t been able to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 660

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The Top

Today, my boss made me run yet another stupid errand. When I delivered the paperwork to his office, I saw an email printout on his desk. Apparently, he has a plan in the works to get me "fried" next month. I'm not sure whether to give him a letter of resignation or a bottle of barbecue sauce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 393

You deserved it 2 746

Today, I found out that my wife named our son after her ex boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 201

You deserved it 2 929

Today, I was walking out of work. I felt like everyone was staring at me but brushed it off. It wasn't until I got home that I realized I had toilet paper sticking out of my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 491

You deserved it 718

Today, I realized that even the worst criminals have girls falling for them, and meanwhile, I just got ghosted again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 809

You deserved it 265

Today, while vacationing in Mexico, the Airbnb we were supposed to check into today for 3 weeks just called to say that due to a broken water pipe, they're unable to host us. We're supposed to check out of our current stay in an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 488

You deserved it 123

Today, I waved at a baby in a stroller whilst walking past a pub's beer garden. The baby didn't wave back. Instead, the 'mum' turned around and said, 'Why are you waving at my bag?' I then realised that it wasn't a baby stroller, just a big purse with a blanket over it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 141

You deserved it 407