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The all-time greatest FMLs

Dumbass

By Anonymous - 12/06/2025 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my son swears blind he didn’t take my car joyriding last night. Thing is, I reverse into the drive. He drove it back in facing forwards, but no matter how I tell him, he doesn’t get it because the car's in the drive, so there’s no evidence, right? IT’S FACING THE WRONG WAY DUMBASS, I KNOW YOU TOOK IT. FML

I agree, your life sucks 520

You deserved it 100

Long time coming

By That was twelve years ago - 23/02/2025 09:00 - United States - Edison

Today, the girl I stalked in high school found me. I've since gotten therapy and fixed my attachment issues, but she told my fiancée the whole story anyway. Now I'm single and sleeping on my clothes in the back of a U-haul. FML

I agree, your life sucks 520

You deserved it 299

Get it on

By Em. - 21/06/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I learned that my married mom has been having an affair with my best friend for over a year. When I tried to fight him, he knocked me on my ass and said, "Your mom is sexy, and your dad's tiny dick wasn't good enough for her. Don't screw this up for me or I'll beat your ass." FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 142

Freestyle

By Anonymous - 28/10/2024 22:00 - Germany - Jesteburg

Today, my dad gave a speech at my wedding. It started with, “Forty years ago, there was a tree…” and continued in the same vein about his work as a biologist. I might have been mentioned in passing. My new wife was not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 86

Thanks, I guess?

By Alex - 04/09/2025 09:00 - Mexico - Mexico City

Today, after months of helping my girlfriend accommodate into her new apartment to escape from her abusive mother, she thanked me by posting an Instagram story with her new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 90

Exploitation

By Anonymous - 28/04/2023 03:00

Today, if I'd known a few days ago when I agreed to help a friend film that it was going to be located so far away and cost so much to get there, I would have said no straight away. I won't even be reimbursed for my efforts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 225

Stranger danger

By Cali Montana - 03/12/2024 09:00 - United States - Marietta

Today, I helped a 6 year-old boy who was left alone at a store to get back home. The kid's parents were grateful, but my mother cussed me out and called me stupid for helping the kid. No good dead goes unpunished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 91

Welcome!

By Annoyed - 27/04/2025 00:00 - Canada

Today, I invited a friend over for dinner and spent hours preparing a fancy meal. When I opened the door, he walked in with his new girlfriend, his mom, his sister, and his dog. I barely had enough food for one, let alone five. I ended up serving my fancy meal on paper plates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 83

Nokia 3310 FTW

By Anonymous - 17/03/2020 02:30 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, while taking a rather large crap, I sent my sister a joking text saying, "I'm shitting my ass inside out." Turns out I sent it to my entire list of contacts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 2 075

I'll see you in court

By UGGHhhhhh - 13/01/2026 00:00

Today, my nail client came with yet another sob story about a bill being on autopay and they took it from her account before her appointment. I set boundaries and said I won’t proceed until I’m paid in full (She owes over $300). She responded by trashing my shop. $1000 in nail polish supplies down the drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 67

Work is freedom, duh!

By Exhauster - 30/07/2025 09:00 - Netherlands

Today, I figured out how my wife sees things. When I'm at work, I don't have to deal with responsibilities at home. Thus, work is a mini-vacation, and since I take a mini-vacation every day, I should have no problem cooking dinner and cleaning for hours after work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 166

Calm your hormones, dude

By PinChi - 10/02/2022 00:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, my girlfriend invited her sorority sister, who fled an abusive relationship, to live with us without asking me. This wouldn't be a problem, but her friend is easily two points hotter than her and…. thirsty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 1 935

No thanks left to give

By HoldingOn - 27/11/2023 00:00 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I've been job searching desperately for years. I'm always either rejected or the places just do not contact me, or they are too far away. No license and no cell service. Not even a Thanksgiving meal this year. I wanna give up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 147

Moral conundrum

By Nate - 09/09/2022 05:30

Today, my baby mama got her septum pierced. It's funny that if I called her a cow, she’d likely break up with me. But she gets the same ring in her nose as a cow, and NO ONE is supposed to notice that. I can only think of cows when I see it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 982

Sleep cycles

By Anonymous - 29/08/2024 14:00 - United States - Washington

Today, my roommate gets up at 3:30am for work and wakes me up each time. I try not to complain about it, but whenever I come back to the apartment at midnight, she gets mad that I woke her up. I told her that she wakes me up in the morning, but apparently that’s different because she’s going to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 154

What is wrong with you?

By Anonymous - 30/03/2024 20:00 - United Kingdom - Castleford

Today, I had to inform my son that no, his genital warts will not just go away on their own, and if he ever wants to have sex with a decent woman again, he’ll take his stupid self to the doctor and get treated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 144

Force of habit

By Muscle memory - 02/04/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, there was a massive thunderstorm in my area. My first instinct - as well as my parents' - was to go to my sickly grandma's house and make sure she was okay, as she lives alone. As we prepared to step outside, we all remembered a rather crucial detail: My grandma is dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 181

I'm a weirdo, I'm a creep

By Anonymous - 08/10/2019 04:00 - Canada

Today, I was sitting behind some bushes in the dark enjoying the view, when some cops came and confiscated my night-vision goggles, then warned me for acting like a "creepy perv." FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 3 580

Insensitive

By WTF?! - 05/01/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I was the designated emotional support person for my friend's mom as she went to have her sick cat put down. The cat was aggressive towards the male vet. She said, "She doesn't like men" to which the vet replied, "Well, soon that won't be a problem." The willpower it took both of us to not yell at him, or worse… FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 284

Baseless accusation!

By Nasturtium - 05/09/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I threw up due to food poisoning. Despite my fever and pain, my wife is completely convinced it was from secretly drinking, and I am now "PERMANENTLY FORBIDDEN" from drinking anything alcoholic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 123

The agony and the ecstasy

By Anonymous - 01/05/2023 12:00

Today, I got home from my vacation. The last few days of my trip, I stayed at my father's house. I was having trouble sleeping last night so I decided to use a little "discreet" vibrator that I travel with. When I unpacked back home, I realized I'd forgotten the vibrator in my bed at my father's house. I'm mortified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 1 088

How's about you go **** yourself, knobhead?

By Anonymous - 26/07/2023 06:00

Today, my boyfriend of four years told me that I have a potty mouth and that I should clean it with Harpic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 334

This whole marriage is a scam

By Anonymous - 17/04/2024 12:00

Today, we discovered that our wedding licence from 7 years ago is a complete fake. I don’t get it: we were married in a church by a priest, we got all our paperwork filed with the city council, but our certificate is apparently a fake someone made on a computer, and they got the date wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 99

Tech expert anyone?

By I am puzzled - 13/07/2023 03:00 - Ukraine - Vinnytsia

Today, my laptop has its own likes and dislikes. The cooler keeps spinning crazily, causing loud annoying noise when I use the laptop at my parent's house, and functions perfectly silent at my place. Careful inspection proved full working order. What's going on? FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 127

UTI

By Anonymous - 09/01/2021 14:01 - United States - Fort Worth

Today, while studying in the library, I felt a sudden urge to pass gas. There were not too many people around, so I let it go while in my seat and it went unnoticed. What caught the attention of everybody was the puddle slowly forming under my seat. Turns out, I farted so hard I pissed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 1 117

Step-nothing

By Anonymous - 05/05/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, my dad's new wife, who is two years younger than me (I'm 24) and hates that I'm a lesbian, threw a fit when I told her that I would never call her Mom. My dad took her side. I don't live with them but still… FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 93

Sorry for your loss

By TooReal - 25/04/2025 00:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, my mother messaged me via Facebook me to say that my father had died. They knew since the start of the year but didn't bother to tell me. I live 10 minutes from the hospital he was in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 101

Taking no chances

By Anonymous - 27/08/2023 10:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I was sent 800 km home from my interstate job because I have the sniffles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 134

FML's Who's Responsible…?

By Louis - 25/04/2017 21:30 - France - Saint-jean-de-braye

Can you work out who dunnit?

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 155

Cancel culture

By Anonymous - 18/12/2023 00:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my insurance canceled my contract, claiming I hadn't paid, even though I had. I only discovered this because I backed into a car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 121

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The Top

Today, I found a pound of cooked bacon in the dryer. When I asked my roommate about it, he confessed; his excuse was that he wanted to dry up the grease before eating it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 457

You deserved it 3 829

Today, I gave a technical presentation to a group of male colleagues. I was surprised by how attentive they were until I went to the washroom and realized that they could see every detail of my nipples through my new shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 430

You deserved it 16 327

Today, I realized that I lie to my friends online and go "offline" for hours at a time so it appears that I have a life outside of the internet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 085

You deserved it 35 140

Today, I went to a wedding with my family. While the maid of honor was giving her non-heartfelt, three sentence speech, my mom and I started talking about how lame her speech was. When I turned around to look at my mom, I saw the camera recording the speech behind her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 019

You deserved it 45 944

Today, the girl I thought I was dating introduced me to her boyfriend. We've gone on dates and have slept in the same bed, but it turns out she thought I was her gay best friend and was planning to introduce me to her boyfriend's brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 422

You deserved it 899

Today, I wanted to give my car a quick wash, to get the salt and road grime off. My girlfriend lodged herself up my ass and decided that we should deep-clean all four of our cars, then screamed at me when I didn't show enough enthusiasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 318

You deserved it 480