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The all-time greatest FMLs

Asshat

By Anonymous - 12/05/2025 20:00 - United States - Riverside

Today, after my body has been ravaged, scarred, broken, and mutilated by cancer, my husband says it’s only fair for him to have a side piece, since the treatments to save my life have decimated my sex drive. But don’t worry, it’s just for his physical needs. He won’t “fall in love or anything.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 692

You deserved it 108

Messed up country

By Anonymous - 13/06/2025 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my absentee dad died in America and some branch of the American government decided that I need to settle his debts. "Which debts?" you ask. Unpaid child support. Yes, America wants me to pay them my own child support, despite never meeting my dad or even once setting foot in America. FML

I agree, your life sucks 692

You deserved it 79

In the dark

By Anonymous - 21/01/2021 02:02 - Canada - Kitchener

Today, since I've been falling for the girl I've been sleeping with for the past couple of months, I decided it was time for us to talk about making things official and exclusive. I was confident she'd feel the same way. Then I found out she's an escort. FML

I agree, your life sucks 691

You deserved it 1 188

Renovations

By Anonymous - 01/01/2021 19:59 - Germany - Neusalza-spremberg

Today, after buying an old house that lacks plumbing a few weeks ago, I’m still crapping in a bucket in the barn. My two favorite Christmas gifts are still 2 pieces of rubber to dampen the noise from my new sewage pump and a used ceramic toilet bowl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 691

You deserved it 341

Can't buy me love

By Anonymous - 22/11/2020 20:02 - Japan - Okayama

Today, I realized while paying bills on my phone I fat-fingered which credit card I was paying and sent 299 to a paid-off card instead of 200 to another one. Now I'm going to have overdraft fees too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 691

You deserved it 470

Probably for the best

By Anonymous - 22/05/2023 15:00 - Netherlands - Amsterdam

Today, I had a job interview for a position at a police station. I asked to use the restroom and accidentally opened the wrong door, locking myself in a stairwell. I had to knock on the door until somebody let me out. Safe to say I didn't get the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 691

You deserved it 196

Are you experienced?

By Karenfast17 - 03/03/2021 07:58 - Hong Kong - Kowloon

Today, I have to write my resume, and my teacher asked me about my secondary school activities. I'd never joined in any activities at that time, did no work experience, no volunteer work, except for two activities that I did in an institution centre this year. This all means I'm good at NOTHING. FML

I agree, your life sucks 691

You deserved it 355

By sauve dino. - 25/03/2016 03:12 - France - Groslay

Today, I explained to my five year-old son that the dinosaurs were wiped out because of a meteorite that hit our planet. He replied, "They should've stood out of the way." FML

I agree, your life sucks 691

You deserved it 109

Comedy roast

By bad auntie! - 21/11/2022 12:00 - United States

Today, my husband and I have been teaching our son to deal with bullies using peaceful conflict resolution techniques. My younger sister however thought it’d be a good idea to teach him how to “roast” his bullies back. So far he’s made three kids cry and I have to see the principal. Thanks Sis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 691

You deserved it 767

Are you? Are you really?

By Anonymous - 22/10/2021 05:01

Today, a friend from our circle group told me that my behavior of responding to her stories with another related story of mine was annoying. I'm was sorry about that and decided to introspect and not show up in our group chat for a while. Then I realized I'm a toxic person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 691

You deserved it 525

Pond life

By My new shoes might be too big - 15/05/2023 03:00 - United States

Today, I was playing Spikeball with some friends when the ball got lost and went rolling towards a pond. As I sprinted to grab it before it fell in the water, my shoe came off, causing me to trip and faceplant into the mud. I then watched as the ball rolled into the pond. FML

I agree, your life sucks 691

You deserved it 147

Run for the hills (or anywhere)

By Anonymous - 09/06/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, while on my usual jogging trail, a man stopped to give me some weird spreadsheet. On it was my whole schedule, with days I’d missed, what I was wearing, and how much my time was improving, along with some tips. I threw the papers and ran for my life. I’m too terrified to ever go back there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 690

You deserved it 85

Great Plains? Tornado Alley?

By a girl with eyes - 23/09/2023 08:00

Today, I had to cancel a first date due to tornado weather. The guy texted me, saying never to contact him again, and then blocked me. This is the fourth time this exact scenario has happened to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 690

You deserved it 199

NPC dialogue tree

By ImRaisingADumie - 18/10/2022 12:00 - United States

Today, my son thinks that we’re becoming a dictatorship with a tyrannical government, all because "Kanye West is being attacked for exercising his first amendment rights." I had to explain to him that hate speech is inappropriate, no matter what the Bill of Rights says. He replied, “Facts over feelings.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 690

You deserved it 884

Wipe out

By Rick - 24/05/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, my house was set on fire, courtesy of my ex-girlfriend, who found out that I have a new girlfriend. Most of our belongings are now reduced to ashes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 690

You deserved it 108

City boy

By Anonymous - 10/01/2024 00:00 - Switzerland

Today, I walked 30 minutes with my new boyfriend from my chalet to the local supermarket, cutting through the woods. It was dark, but the moon shone bright and we had torches. He was so scared, he startled at every noise and even cried. When we got to town, he dumped me, and left on the next train. FML

I agree, your life sucks 690

You deserved it 177

Respect the dead

By yawny - 22/10/2023 16:00

Today, I got slapped in the face for stifling a yawn at my grandmother’s funeral. I wasn’t being disrespectful; I have a condition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 690

You deserved it 151

Time to change the will

By Ouch - 12/08/2025 20:00 - United Kingdom - Stourbridge

Today, as I'm terminally ill and have less than a year to live, I told my wife that she could see other men so long as she continued to care for me until I passed. She clapped and cheered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 690

You deserved it 103

Chase me!

By Anonymous - 29/01/2023 00:30

Today, my son decided to run around a supermarket in his underwear, leaving me to chase after him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 690

You deserved it 270

Shit happens

By Anonymous - 24/07/2023 10:00 - United States - Apalachin

Today, my husband had a colonoscopy. Having spent yesterday hearing him complain about having only clear liquids and having to drink the required solution, he still was not cleaned out. We have to reschedule with two days of clear liquids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 690

You deserved it 114

Charmed

By Anonymous - 16/04/2022 10:00

Today, I couldn't figure out why my crush hasn't spoken to me since last October. My other coworkers finally explained that she's still angry at me because I kept referring to her Halloween costume as a "sexy witch costume". As fate would have it, it was just a regular witch costume. It wasn't supposed to be sexy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 690

You deserved it 649

Revenge

By GoodGuy,BadBoss - 10/12/2023 15:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I interviewed my first person ever for the store I’m opening. She was not a good fit and I told her so. She took it really personally. She later sent several nudes to my personal cell, “to say thank you.” My wife saw them immediately. FML

I agree, your life sucks 690

You deserved it 149

Sounds like a win, somehow

By George - 17/09/2023 14:00

Today, I found out that I'm allergic to shrimp, when I went out for a lunch with my long-term crush after I finally got the courage to ask her out. She's really into seafood. A little while into the afternoon I started to feel itchy. She ended up scratching my back all night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 690

You deserved it 143

Where are you?

By Budhvaraddams - 30/01/2023 18:30

Today, I had an important test at 7 in the morning, so I sat the alarm at 6 o'clock and fell asleep. Later I was woken up by a call from my friend asking me why I didn't show up for the test. It was 9:30. I'd sat the alarm at 6:00 PM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 690

You deserved it 586

She likes it!

By whiteboyfresh69 - 22/01/2020 20:00 - United States

Today, while sleeping off my hangover, my niece asked me to get her a drink. I gave her a beer, I didn't notice it until it was gone. She is only 6 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 690

You deserved it 3 699

The Hulk

By anonymous - 03/05/2020 05:00

Today, I found out that my $1000 anger management course had no effect on me when I smashed a picture frame. Why? I had run out of toothpaste. FML

I agree, your life sucks 689

You deserved it 1 792

Candid camera

By Anonymous - 08/05/2020 23:00

Today, I prominently touched my boobs and put my hand inside my shirt to adjust my bra… all while I had my camera on during a Zoom meeting with the whole department FML

I agree, your life sucks 689

You deserved it 1 741

Early bird booze special

By Anonymous - 22/12/2022 18:00

Today, I received an invitation to a Happy Hour happening tomorrow. It's at 6 a.m. How am I supposed to drink at 6 a.m.? FML

I agree, your life sucks 689

You deserved it 212

Halloween freakout

By cuz803 - 01/11/2022 16:00

Today, I went to my friend's costume party dressed as Michael Myers. My costume must've been too conspicuous because it drew violent attention. I'm still sore from the pushing, tackling, tripping, falling and body shots. FML

I agree, your life sucks 689

You deserved it 171

Trashcan addiction

By Anonymous - 13/08/2021 00:01

Today, I finally got my 18 month-old to throw away her trash and dirty diapers. Now she throws everything away, and I can't get her to stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 689

You deserved it 463

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The Top

Today, I was talking to my friend, who was telling me he's having suicidal thoughts lately. He then said he'd be back in a few minutes. Nearly an hour passed. I panicked, thinking he'd offed himself. Several minutes after I called the emergency services, he messaged me, saying "K, back." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 464

You deserved it 3 252

Today, while I was in a bathroom stall, the guy next to me asked me for toilet paper. It was then that I realized I didn't have any either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 922

You deserved it 4 915

Today, I got mad at my 4 year old son for cussing me out. Afterwards, I went upstairs to get ready for the day. When I came back downstairs I found him pooping on my brand new leather couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 578

You deserved it 12 187

Today, when I weighed myself on my scale, it broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 159

You deserved it 28 960

Today, I was checking the Facebook event page to see who is attending the party I am having this weekend, since my parents are going out of town. 1 person has confirmed. My mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 760

You deserved it 38 468

Today, my grandmother informed me that I was rude to her at my wedding two months ago, all because she couldn’t sit at the bridal table, even though she "paid for the wedding." FML

I agree, your life sucks 393

You deserved it 880