The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year

The all-time greatest FMLs

We live in a society

By Anonymous - 04/03/2022 03:59 - United States - Steele

Today, my family and friends have absolutely refused to comprehend that I hate being touched. They think it's because of how unbearably ticklish I am, and they call me a "Drama Queen" for it. I suffer from haphephobia. We live in a society where people who have very real phobias are referred to as "overdramatic." FML

I agree, your life sucks 956

You deserved it 294

Too much YouTube true crime on the brain

By Anonymous - 27/08/2022 18:00

Today, and like every other day this year, my wife’s best friend thinks it’s funny to make comments that she thinks I’ll murder my wife, and that she should leave me ASAP. The best friend is in her 30s and has never had a boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 956

You deserved it 107

How can I make this about me?

By I told you so - 14/11/2022 10:00

Today, after several months of warning my sister to stop drinking so many energy drinks, she is now in the hospital with potentially life-threatening heart problems. Now I have the worry that my sister will meet an early grave to add to my list of things that give me anxiety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 956

You deserved it 191

Manic Pixie Dream Girl

By Misha - 05/06/2022 06:00

Today, I was flirting with this really attractive guy on a dating website until he became convinced I wasn't real by my pictures and bio, and stopped messaging me and reported me for spam. He was really, really cute and funny, and seemed like a great guy until then. Guess I'm too vanilla. FML

I agree, your life sucks 956

You deserved it 176

Is that a pass then?

By Anonymous - 12/09/2020 05:01 - Hong Kong - Central District

Today, I had a piano exam, for which I'd worked hard. I went in, and the examiner asked me to play some scales. I was so nervous, I played 3 octaves and then realised I'd ran out of space. I might have then said, "FUCK!" really loudly… and she heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 956

You deserved it 405

What a way to spend the day

By theark - 22/08/2022 10:00

Today, I was informed by my proctologist that my colonoscopy has been rescheduled for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 956

You deserved it 89

Old age problems

By Xenon - 25/10/2022 04:00 - United States

Today, after I retired November 2021, broke my left leg in February 2022, was able to walk unaided around the end of July, broke my left hip in August 2022, physical therapy is now starting. Today. Happy retirement! FML.

I agree, your life sucks 956

You deserved it 119

Modern student life sucks

By Dan - 05/03/2021 20:02 - United Kingdom - Warwick

Today, I've paid over £15k a year to have 1.5 years of my 3 year BSc online. All we can do is sit in a tiny room (genuinely worse than Nordic prisons) and watch "online lectures", i.e. paying enormous amounts of money for depression, boredom, loneliness, and information that can be gathered from Youtube or Wikipedia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 956

You deserved it 180

Earthquake

By Bolin - 17/05/2021 08:08

Today, I have to sleep in another room, with the door closed, because if I don't, my girlfriend's snoring will keep me awake. I was diagnosed with chronic insomnia because of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 956

You deserved it 134

Both ends

By not having fun - 03/05/2022 18:00

Today, I have bronchitis. A few days ago, my doc prescribed antibiotics, which are helping, but also cause a really nasty upset stomach. I tell ya, violent coughing fits and severe diarrhea do NOT go well together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 956

You deserved it 90

Boomer humor

By Vlad - 05/01/2023 12:00

Today, the guy who owes me $300 put a meme on Facebook that said, “In 2023, I’m gonna move on from the past, so if I owe you money, sorry but I’ve moved on.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 956

You deserved it 545

Sorry guys

By Lunar-Spice - 02/02/2022 07:59 - United States - Midlothian

Today, I tested positive for Covid. Not only do I feel absolutely miserable, but I was at work all day yesterday, interacting with the public. Also, the day before that, I hung out at a friend's house with a 3-month-old infant. If any one of them get Covid, it's my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 956

You deserved it 465

Gamers rise up

By marie - 03/12/2020 08:02 - United States - San Jose

Today, after a stressful day at work, I just wanted to go home and play video games. And then I broke my thumb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 956

You deserved it 164

Great date

By okthen - 10/12/2019 20:00 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I finally made a move on the guy I've been crushing on for years… by getting so drunk that I puked in his lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 956

You deserved it 1 788

The R-word

By How old am I again? - 05/09/2022 00:30 - United States

Today, I had to listen to my mother painstakingly spell out to me why broken glass is extremely dangerous. Feeling insulted, I jokingly asked her if she thought I was "retarded". I then got yelled at for "swearing." I'm a fucking adult, but my overprotective and condescending mother seems to think otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 956

You deserved it 508

Jumpy

By pokemontrainer99 - 17/05/2022 10:00

Today, my mom screamed at me for being startled by her, calling my reaction “unnecessary and extremely rude.” When I tried to explain to her for the millionth time that I startle easily, and it’s involuntary, she told me to “make it voluntary, or else.” I fear what is to come. FML

I agree, your life sucks 955

You deserved it 155

Waning

By Anonymous - 07/02/2023 22:00 - Australia - Newham

Today, I love my partner but also have negative thoughts as well. She stopped being interested in me about 6 months into our relationship. We have been together for 12 years. We have made love on 3 different occasions in the last 4 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 955

You deserved it 465

Do it yourself, dickwad

By Anonymous - 01/05/2023 06:00 - Australia - Taren Point

Today, I've been bedridden with the flu for two weeks. My boyfriend only got concerned because I haven't done any laundry, and was worried about what the girls at the coffee shop across from work would think if he turned up wearing the same clothes two days in a row. FML

I agree, your life sucks 955

You deserved it 134

I don't know my strength

By Anonymous - 25/05/2022 04:00

Today, I got home to my wife surrounded by plaster, old cement and bricks, and a fucking massive hole in the kitchen wall leading through into next door's kitchen. Apparently she tried to put up a shelf and the wall “fell down”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 955

You deserved it 99

Anyone fancy a pint?

By Apolline - 24/10/2022 10:00 - France

Today, it's my birthday. It's also the day of my grandmother's funeral. I spent most of my 21st birthday in a cemetery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 955

You deserved it 143

The joys of mp3

By Anonymous - 01/09/2022 14:00

Today, I opened my music app like always. All my tracks' titles had been reset. Now they’re called either (lyrics) or ‘’ ? () [] - symbols. I have nearly 2000 tracks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 955

You deserved it 125

Didn't see ya there

By AylaMarie92 - 09/11/2021 13:59

Today, like every other day, I suffer from insomnia. On returning to the bedroom after a very late night shower to hopefully get some rest, I sat on my cat. I jumped up quickly and smacked my face against the cupboard. I then looked back to see if she was OK. I'd sat on my Squishmallow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 955

You deserved it 347

Silver linings

By Anonymous - 21/12/2021 05:01

Today, as a 6 ft 8 woman, I never get much attention from men, until today when a guy who was 7 ft 1 approached me at the bar with the chat up line, "Hey little lady, you look about my size, can I buy you a drink?" It worked. I'm such a stereotype, we’re going on a date tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 955

You deserved it 540

Nervous

By Anonymous - 05/02/2021 20:00

Today, I went to see my girlfriend to talk about my anxiety, because it's been a big issue. She broke up with me instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 955

You deserved it 131

The sweet smell of success

By Anonymous - 29/10/2020 11:02

Today, my dad decided to make home-made popcorn. He accidentally used old fish oil instead of mazola oil. Now the house reeks of fish and we can't even throw the popcorn out for fear of attracting wild animals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 955

You deserved it 122

Helpless

By Anonymous - 19/02/2021 21:30

Today, I have to cook for her if I don’t want her to live on sweets, remind her to actually eat her food before it goes bad, then clean and put away her dishes. When I ask her to help, she complains that she "can never do it right anyway." My teenage daughter? No, my mom, age 62. FML

I agree, your life sucks 955

You deserved it 140

By Anonymous - 12/07/2019 02:00

Today, I figured out my boyfriend gets out of jail in less than six months. First off, I have a boyfriend in jail. Second, I also realized I'd much prefer he stay in than get out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 955

You deserved it 1 932

Terminally offended

By whicks1892 - 18/12/2021 16:58

Today, I bought a shirt for my 5 year-old, which said, "I tried to be good, but I take after my Grandpa!" I thought it was a cute joke, but my mother-in-law said, "So you mean his grandpa isn't good? And that's why your son isn't good?" Despite my husband adding, "She bought this shirt. It was a joke, mom" they're still offended. FML

I agree, your life sucks 955

You deserved it 199

No stars on Trip Advisor

By Anonymous - 02/03/2023 18:00 - United States - Ingleside

Today, I paid for my man to get a massage while we were on vacation. The hour passes and he wasn't answering his phone or texts. I go to the room and he’s just getting out of the shower. I come to find out she is high on ketamine, and he said they kissed. He still denies it. This is what I get for getting him a massage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 955

You deserved it 232

Pay up

By Anonymous - 20/09/2021 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I tripped and hit my head on a rock, perforating my eardrum. That rock also broke. It was a €3000 headstone I now have to pay for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 955

You deserved it 146

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Wake up Messy DIY Embarrassing Awkward Love Cute Cheating Pregnancy Kids Family Money Birthday Cats Animals Kittens Dogs Parenting Crush Work Painful Sports Vacation Parents Babysitter AITA Friends Holidays Annoying

The Top

Today, I got asked on a date. I was later told we had to cancel. Why? My ex is parked in front of his house and he is afraid to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 875

You deserved it 3 975

Today, while walking to my car through the snow, I noticed the sunroof was open and 2 feet of snow had poured in. Angry, I opened the door to start cleaning. That's when I noticed all the wildlife that had taken refuge inside from the cold. Not only were my seat cushions wet, they were torn open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 896

You deserved it 26 361

Today, at a wedding reception, I accidentally caught the bouquet. I got cussed out by the women who were fighting over it for being uninvited and party crashing. I'm a busgirl and the bouquet only landed on the tray I was holding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 263

You deserved it 237

Today, I got a message from a woman. It was my boyfriend of five years' ex-girlfriend, telling me that she’s pregnant with his baby and that they’ve been together for a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 250

You deserved it 79

Today, I realized how fucked I am (not). I'm a 26 year-old virgin waiting for love. No guy my age wants someone inexperienced. The older I get, the more ridiculous I feel. I masturbate way more often than I should and it's like my body is screaming for intimacy. I don't know WTF to do. Maybe I'll be the next 40 year-old virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 541

You deserved it 235

Today, I learned that my father, who died when I was a child, was not in fact my father. This comes as my mom, who has been present and loving my whole life, passed away without providing any additional information. I'm a grown man and my family also had no idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 393

You deserved it 51