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An update: I ended up quitting in February and am starting a new job in about a week from now. It wasn’t easy finding a tech job in middle of the Midwest in the current market conditions, but getting a new job came with appreciation of my skills and a pay raise, and i know reputation of new employer. Me leaving created a shit show at old job as all my scripts were deleted. The ones my ex coworkers used to do their job. At least my last two weeks were paid with no need to do work (due to my former admin rights and damage any kind of revenge acts could cause, in this case totally justified and they followed proper protocol for my type of access), but from my contact with ex coworkers shows shit went south due to it. I’m looking forward to the new job as well.

By Anonymous - 17/12/2018 13:30

Today, I have a busy week scheduled at work, so I took my file home to smash out some reports. Naturally I did not do any work at home and then I also forgot to take the file back to work the next day. Instead of saving time, I wasted an hour driving home to collect it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 091

You deserved it 2 172

Pee is stored in the balls

By Anonymous - 18/09/2021 02:01 - Belgium - Lint

Today, I learned two things: first, that a bladder infection may spread to your testicles, and second, that the first does not excuse you from work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 091

You deserved it 106

Harry Pothead

By Anonymous - 21/10/2021 23:02 - Canada - North York

Today, my husband said he wouldn't be talking to me for weeks, because I didn't buy him weed. Yeah, I paid all the bills and the rent this month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 091

You deserved it 207

If only they hadn't learned to read…

By Anonymous - 20/09/2019 00:01

Today, I was hosting my kid's birthday party. I had a bunch of small trinkets, so I grabbed the first container I could find to put them in. It wasn’t until I went out and someone yelled, "I’ll take a heavy flow!" that I realized it was an empty tampon box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 091

You deserved it 722

Welcome

By Anonymous - 24/12/2020 20:01

Today, I had to clean out my husband's brother's room as he is moving. The room was filled with childish toys, mould and years of dust covered everything. Behind and under every piece of furniture were earwax encrusted cotton swabs, hundreds of them. Oh yeah, he's moving in with us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 091

You deserved it 153

Thanks Disney

By please stop talking about Bruno! - 05/02/2022 16:01

Today, my kids have watched Encanto about 37 times. When they aren’t watching the movie, they ask to hear the soundtrack. When they aren’t listening to it in the house, they ask to hear it in the car. I’m starting to hear these songs in my nightmares. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 091

You deserved it 255

What a lovely guy

By pull your goddamn weight! - 16/08/2022 02:00 - United States

Today, I got into a fight with my husband. I told him we’re a stereotypical couple, where the wife is exhausted from doing all the housework and raising the kids. He looked me in the eye and told me I’m lucky he’s still around after how I “let myself go after the third kid.” I have diastasis recti. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 091

You deserved it 240

Double trouble

By HipstrCharizard - 08/11/2020 05:02 - United States - Nobleboro

Today, I found out I might have Covid due to my manager's roommate getting it by being irresponsible. Two days ago, I found out I may have hep A from getting takeout at a restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 091

You deserved it 141

Jump scare

By Anonymous - 07/03/2022 06:00 - Canada - Emsdale

Today, my partner refuses to get rid of an automatic air-freshener that goes off with a decent noise in our bathroom. I have PTSD and it startles me EVERY time it goes off, even when I try to prepare. At least it’s in an area where I can get the shit scared out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 090

You deserved it 192

Love is Hell

By StraightAF - 05/04/2022 00:01

Today, I’ve been single for so long that my mom’s friends ask her if I’m a lesbian, all because I’m 35 and not married yet. Truth is, my last relationship fucked me up so bad that the thought of falling in love with someone again makes me physically ill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 090

You deserved it 130

Don't hate the playa…

By Dannikins - 05/11/2020 08:01 - United States - San Antonio

Today, the guy I've been looking forward going on a date with had to cancel due to Covid. This wouldn't have been an issue, if I didn't see him later that night posting about him at a bar with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 090

You deserved it 111

I'm just saying…

By dirty boy - 05/07/2021 11:00

Today, what started as an amazing day with hiking, a picnic, more hiking, then a romantic nature walk, ended in a ridiculous screaming match between me and my boyfriend. I only asked him to shower before laying in our bed when we got home, since we were covered in sweat, bug bites and dirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 090

You deserved it 133

Personality factory reset

By Anonymous - 29/05/2022 10:00

Today, and until he had a tumour removed from his brain, my husband used to be happy. Since then he's slowly turned into a miserable bastard. According to the doctor, the tumour messed with his brain to make him artificially happy, so he's actually back to normal. It was the size of half a pea and benign, so he could have kept it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 090

You deserved it 217

That's not how that works, it's not how anything works

By Ariane - 26/09/2021 14:00

Today, in France, a "Vaccine Pass" is needed to do most things. Some family members came to visit, but as they aren't vaccinated they usually just stay home. They told us that we're dangerous, because we carry "millions of viruses" from the vaccine, and it will be our fault if they get Covid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 090

You deserved it 228

Compassion in action

By annie the witch - 27/09/2023 22:00

Today, my boyfriend died. I was crying in my room when I heard a knock on my door. I thought it was my mom coming to comfort me, but instead she yelled and screamed at me for doing the dishes wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 090

You deserved it 154

Same

By Anonymous - 05/12/2021 23:01

Today, I realized that because of my past abusive relationship, I will never love anyone fully. In the back of my mind, I will always have a doubt, thinking that they don't want me or that I'm just a goal to achieve until they're ready to leave. It's to the point where I don't see a reason to try; everyone will leave and I'm OK with that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 090

You deserved it 232

Why don't we do it in the road?

By Anonymous - 08/02/2022 22:00

Today, since my most recent breakup, I haven’t had sex in almost a year but I’m too afraid to just jump on Tinder for a hookup, because I had to move back into my parents' spare room, and I can’t be bringing a woman back for sex on a fold-out futon with mom and dad in the next bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 090

You deserved it 411

No kinkshaming, but come on…

By Erik Monkey - 27/04/2022 14:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, my girlfriend finally showed me the porn she likes to watch. Amputees were involved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 090

You deserved it 269

Not for everyone

By Anonymous - 02/11/2021 17:00

Today, after I'd left the love of my life because he didn't want kids, got into another relationship, he now tells me he's changed his mind about having kids, 5 years in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 090

You deserved it 245

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The Top

Today, I was T-boned at an intersection. In an ambulance. On the way to the hospital after being T-boned at an intersection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 668

You deserved it 2 080

Today, it was my boyfriend's grandfather's funeral and visitation. These things make me nervous, and not thinking, I made comments that included the words "killing", "dying", and "death". I'm a rubbish support system. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 954

You deserved it 7 527

Today, after months of using the empty driveway across the street from my house, a note was placed under my windshield wiper. It read, "Please stop parking in my driveway. P.S. You’re hot. Are you single?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 941

You deserved it 39 442

Today, I had to cancel my birthday party because of snow. It's October. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 727

You deserved it 5 058

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend watching a home made sex tape he had previously made with his ex-girlfriend. What's worse than him jerking off to it? He was crying and hugging a pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 320

You deserved it 3 121

Today, I was finally about to propose to my girlfriend at a fancy restaurant. Just as I got down on one knee, the fire alarm went off and the entire restaurant had to evacuate. She thought I was joking, and now she’s mad at me for "messing with her emotions." FML

I agree, your life sucks 524

You deserved it 75