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The all-time greatest FMLs

Blowin' in the wind

By Tired - 19/09/2020 02:02 - United Stated

Today, for the third night in a row, I didn't get any sleep, because my neighbor's new dog won't stop barking when the wind blows. Where I live, we get major wind gusts most days of the week. It's going to be another long night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 141

You deserved it 111

Freaked out

By anon - 07/02/2021 20:01 - United Kingdom

Today, whilst visiting one of my distant cousins for the first time in years, she came onto me. After gently explaining to her that this was inappropriate, she broke down in tears. Whilst I awkwardly comforted her, she started stroking my inner thigh, apparently still trying to seduce me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 141

You deserved it 144

Gaslighting

By Danilo - 03/06/2022 10:00

Today, my promotion at work was revoked and I was written up, all because some customer decided to write a negative review about me on Google. Apparently, I was “rude” to her and “rolled my eyes at her” and called her stupid. I never met this woman a day in my life, and they won’t believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 140

You deserved it 147

Emergency

By Ethan Sitzes - 25/06/2022 22:00

Today, I called into work because of a family emergency. My boss was understanding; my coworker? He tore me a new one because his wife wanted him to take the day off, which he didn't because it was going to be a tough day at work. He also threatened to find a way he could get me fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 140

You deserved it 111

Weird assumption

By Thanks Mom - 20/05/2021 14:01 - United States

Today, I asked my helicopter parent mother if I could go over to a friend's house. She said no because her parents weren't there, and if she accused me of assaulting her, I'd have no defense. We're both 16, I'm gay and she's a lesbian. My mom is well aware of these facts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 140

You deserved it 163

Slicing up eyeballs

By Anonymous - 28/05/2022 02:00

Today, I got up at 2 a.m. to pee. Searing pain stabbed my eye as soon as I opened it. I spent the next 30 min in agony, tears, and snot pouring down my face, trying to find the eyelash in my dry eye. Instead, I pulled a 2-inch long, invisible white, crinkly hair from my dog's undercoat out of my eye. SO. MUCH. PAIN. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 140

You deserved it 187

Drugs are bad

By KookieLove666 - 10/08/2022 06:00

Today, my pill-popping mom, committing disability fraud and stealing from me, called the cops on me, and dragged the landlord into it, is now getting both of us evicted. All this because she'd rather live homeless with her drug problem than to get the help she needs, which I can't provide anymore after 10 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 140

You deserved it 116

Slid right out

By Tabby Rosas - 21/02/2021 21:30

Today, after 8 days of being on a medication that makes it hard to go to the bathroom and no luck taking laxatives and drinking coffee and apple juice, I finally got to go. Too bad I was at my desk at work when it happened. I washed out my pants in the bathroom and got to sit in wet pants for 4 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 140

You deserved it 93

I'm worth it

By Anonymous - 12/12/2020 23:01 - United States - Kalamazoo

Today, I realized after seeing my ex in his new relationship that he does everything for her that I always wanted him to do for me. Sucks not being worth it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 140

You deserved it 194

Kinks come in all shapes and sizes

By Anonymous - 04/05/2022 02:00 - Fiji - Suva