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The all-time greatest FMLs

Now you know

By Ouchies - 18/03/2021 17:01

Today, I went to the beach. My friend decided it would be funny to push me into a bunch of Portuguese Man-O-War jellyfish washed up on the shore. Did you know their tentacles can sting even if they’re dead? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 181

You deserved it 97

Only a few more years to go…

By Anonymous - 09/02/2022 16:00

Today, the lullaby I sing to my toddler makes my husband fall asleep faster than her, so basically I have to choose between not having sex or having to put up with a cranky overtired hyperactive toddler. Our house has a single bedroom where we all co-sleep, so I guess it's option one for now for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 181

You deserved it 398

What about me?

By Anonymous - 04/04/2021 14:00

Today, my younger brother got in engaged. When we had a conversation about the wedding, he asked why the hell would I be involved with any of it! He used to be my best friend. I don’t know what happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 181

You deserved it 182

Hack

By Anonymous - 31/03/2022 06:00 - United States - Morganville

Today, my friends and I were feeling nostalgic and decided to listen to some of Dane Cook's old stuff. We got to "The Friend Nobody Likes" and I commented that I'm glad we don't have a person like that in our group. This was followed by a very awkward silence, and someone suggesting we listen to something else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 181

You deserved it 241

Empathy

By jess - 29/07/2020 20:02

Today, my friends were showing me infomercials and laughing at how clumsy and stupid the people were. I could relate to every single one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 181

You deserved it 279

Better Call Saul

By Anonymous - 12/06/2021 16:01

Today, despite having the same parents, I'm a lawyer and my brother is a redneck. He called wanting my advice, because he tried to book a prostitute online but when she turned up, she was a Latvian mail-order bride, and he wants me to fix it with my "big city law degree." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 180

You deserved it 120

Never work a day in your life

By Anonymous - 06/05/2022 22:00

Today, it's the one-year anniversary of opening my own store. I love books and baking, so I turned my hobby into a career by opening a bookstore with a small cafe and bakery attached. I was not prepared for how hard the job would be, so now I hate my career AND my hobby as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 180

You deserved it 624

Can't be arsed, to be honest

By whatamidoingwrong - 22/10/2022 16:00

Today, my boyfriend told me that he’s no longer interested in sex with me, as he just can't be bothered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 180

You deserved it 263

The Walking Dead

By Derek Wheeler - 06/12/2020 17:00 - United States - Longview

Today, we overheard a customer in our store talking on the phone about how she'd been exposed to someone positive for COVID-19, and was supposed to be at home in quarantine just in case. The terrifying thing is how many other people come into our store when they shouldn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 180

You deserved it 144

Crash diet

By Anonymous - 20/06/2022 14:00

Today, I found out my sudden weight loss wasn’t because I changed my diet. It’s because I have heart failure FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 180

You deserved it 150

The Teaching Life

By Anonymous - 29/03/2021 04:59 - United States - San Jose

Today, being incredibly ill after my second COVID shot, I called in sick for maybe the third time in 10 years (I teach). That didn’t stop parents from calling and messaging to scream at me because they weren’t happy. I had to drag myself out of bed and do work in between throwing up. I feel even worse now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 180

You deserved it 219

Therapeutic

By Anonymous - 07/01/2022 23:01

Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to weekly talks about anything that is bothering us, since we’ve been arguing a lot lately. So far, every talk has been her moaning at me about how I annoy her, yet when I try to have my say, she interrupts or yells at me for blaming her for our problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 180

You deserved it 191

That's gonna cost ya!

By Anonymous - 04/08/2021 22:01 - United States - Steele

Today, I accidentally stepped on the metal prongs of an extension cord. After pulling it out of my sock, I noticed that all three of the prongs were covered in blood; they penetrated my foot. It bled like a gunshot wound for several minutes, and now my foot is unbearably sore, making it painful to walk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 180

You deserved it 229