The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year

The all-time greatest FMLs

Class act

By Superfly - 19/07/2021 18:01

Today, my great grandfather got arrested. Why? He is still shell shocked from World War II, so when we went to a hibachi grill, he didn't want any of those, "Damn Japs" to touch his food, and our chef didn't take too kindly to his verbal assault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 269

You deserved it 499

Souvenir

By nick - 26/12/2021 17:01 - United States - Federal Way

Today, I found out my son’s middle name was named after my wife’s muscled up highschool ex-boyfriend who cheated on her and who she sometimes still brings up. She tells me it’s nothing and still acts like I’m crazy for communicating my worry to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 269

You deserved it 158

Chemistry

By Anonymous - 21/01/2023 10:00

Spicy

Today, I got my boyfriend's pants down for the first time and turns out my thumb is bigger than his erect penis. I already know he has weak tongue technique, but this is an extra slap in the face I do not need. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 269

You deserved it 387

Excuses excuses

By Sparky - 05/11/2022 02:00

Today, I realized my ex-boyfriend is still in love with me. I told him I could never date him or be anything more than friends, telling him it’s creepy, but his response was, “Oh, well, my autism makes me see things differently.” I can’t get through to this guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 269

You deserved it 227

It's the thought that counts, right?

By Anonymous - 22/12/2019 18:00

Spicy

Today, I decided to buy my Chinese Studies professor a gift from Taiwan, so I got her a mini-Taiwanese passport that said "Republic of China" on it. As it turns out, it was actually a two-pack of travel condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 269

You deserved it 3 001

Thanks for the support

By Anonymous - 25/01/2022 17:01 - Canada - Cornwall

Today, after being bodyshamed by my mother for being too fat (I'm a size 14) and how I shouldn't be wearing shorts because it makes me look ugly and motivates people to comment on my body, I texted my boyfriend to tell him about it. His reply was, "Aww. you cutie. You know she's not wrong." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 269

You deserved it 430

Sussy baka

By Anonymous - 29/06/2021 20:00

Today, when my boyfriend got home, I told him about how I’d had the worst day with our baby. Without blinking, he told me to say the word and he’d drive to a different city and anonymously surrender our son to a fire station and all our suffering would be over. He was completely serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 268

You deserved it 447

Get out while you still can

By Bullet dodged - 20/02/2021 01:59 - United Kingdom

Today, my fiancée called off our wedding out of the blue. After a long discussion about it, it turns out that last week I voiced an opinion about the wedding she didn’t agree with, and doesn’t want to spend her life married to someone who’s going to argue with her every five minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 268

You deserved it 164

Welcome to capitalism, baby

By Larissa E. Royster - 26/09/2021 17:00

Today, after spending months building my boss 3 websites and finishing them, I was fired via a short email, saying she didn't need my help anymore. I only worked for her for 3 months, so basically I stopped being useful when I finished her websites. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 268

You deserved it 111

Not a good look

By dumb dumb dumb - 20/10/2020 20:04 - United States

Today, my daughter decided she wants to be a Pokémon for Halloween. To practice the look, she used fabric dye because she thought it would look cool on her skin. Only she decided to dress as Jynx and instead of looking cool, she looks like a racist idiot in blackface. She posted pics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 268

You deserved it 196

By Grant Williams - 07/05/2019 17:37

Today, while mildly tipsy, I threw myself onto my bed at a weird angle and somehow managed to somersault off my bed and land in my clothes hamper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 268

You deserved it 828

Stop siding with Karens!

By jobless - 02/07/2021 11:00

Today, I'm a massage therapist, and a woman got on my table with a rash. When I informed her that I couldn't work on her because of the rash, and that it's illegal, she got mad, and started yelling at me. My boss came to find out what happened, took her side, and fired me. For following the law. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 268

You deserved it 92

No ethical consumption under capitalism

By Anonymous - 20/02/2022 18:00

Today, I got fired. A woman, who'd been ignoring me at the workplace, told me I wasn't friendly enough. She turned out to be the manager. Apparently, she likes to test the new hires by being extremely cold and unwelcome. She never even introduced herself. Also, it only pays 70% of the minimum wage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 268

You deserved it 153

Jinx

By Anonymous - 15/08/2017 23:15

Today, I was reversing my brother's car out of a driveway. I turned to my friend in the passenger seat and said, "Check it out, I'm so good at reversing!" Next minute there's a huge bang. I had just reversed into a tree and shattered the windscreen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 268

You deserved it 4 954

A few moments later…

By Anonymous - 11/08/2022 02:00 - Canada - Garson

Today, I saw my first FML I published on Facebook. Everyone was bashing me, thinking that I was the problem and the cause for my ex-boyfriend wanting to do his own thing. I used to sit in his room being ignored for days straight while he gamed. Not once did I bitch about his gaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 267

You deserved it 360

Pretty Woman

By Anonymous - 27/10/2021 23:00 - Luxembourg - Luxembourg

Today, I went to a business meeting over lunch. My new employer seemed normal enough while we were eating, but now I have received messages about how he will buy me new clothes, and we can rent a camping car and go to festivals next year. All I wanted was a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 267

You deserved it 114

You've been framed

By Anonymous - 07/03/2023 15:00

Today, I was rejected from my dream job because my interviewer googled me and one of the images that comes up is a pic of me sunbathing nude in my own private garden. That pic isn’t one I took, it isn’t on my Facebook or anything, I have no f**king idea where it came from or who photographed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 267

You deserved it 188

Sex work is real work

By Anonymous - 01/09/2022 16:00

Spicy

Today, my sister makes more money masturbating for anonymous perverts online than I do with an honest job, and she works less hours. She just bought a house for £160,000 without a mortgage; I rent a council house. She has a 20 Plate Land Rover; I have a Nissan micra FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 267

You deserved it 522

Where d'you all go?

By Notwanted - 20/04/2021 17:00

Today, I found out why the group chat I was in with my friends has been dead. Apparently, they made a group chat without me in it, so that they could make fun of me behind my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 267

You deserved it 99

Thieves like us

By Anonymous - 21/01/2023 04:00

Today, my mom stole my holiday money because she found it “near her bag” in my kitchen and “assumed it was hers” and she must have “forgotten it was in there all this time.” I demanded it back, but she’d already spent it on hair, nails, shoes, and a date night with dad. She won’t pay me back either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 267

You deserved it 124

End student debt

By Reluctant Scholar - 09/03/2022 02:00 - United States - Bloomington

Today, I'm in a US college. I could've gone into a trade or internship, but no one listened. Now, while my parents brag to their friends that their child has a degree, I'll probably be spending the rest of life in crippling debt, sleeping on the side of the road, and begging strangers for table scraps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 267

You deserved it 506

By DarrenP - 03/08/2019 22:00 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, I got a burn on my foot from a Pot Noodle I didn't even want. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 266

You deserved it 170

She's not wrong though

By Anonymous - 15/01/2022 14:01

Today, my stepmom aired her opinions on how marriage and children are just shackles placed on women by men to keep them miserable, downtrodden, under control, and borderline suicidal. She made this speech during my wedding reception. Oh and I’m 4 months pregnant as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 266

You deserved it 195

It's not my fault

By GuiltyNidia - 19/05/2023 22:00

Today, my best friend’s parents told me they’re gonna take me to court and sue me for “all I got.” Turns out, he'd committed suicide after I got in a relationship with someone else. Apparently, he’s had feelings for me for a while and couldn’t handle that fact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 266

You deserved it 125

CIA-level batshittery

By fear - 17/12/2020 08:02 - United States - Denver

Today, an angry customer from my old job and punched me in the face before screaming; “You thought you’d seen the last of me?” I moved seven states over and she followed me here just to do that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 266

You deserved it 107

Alexa, play "911 Is a Joke" by Public Enemy

By A.C.A.B. - 04/08/2022 22:00

Today, I'm right now comforting my 21-year-old brother, after we'd called the cops because a mugger stabbed one of my brother's friends while the three of us were on the street. Kudos to the police, who left us waiting in the line for more than 50 minutes, letting an innocent die, and allowing a scumbag to escape. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 266

You deserved it 146

Born to run

By Nate - 21/12/2020 11:02

Today, I can’t divorce my lazy, unemployed, shopping-addicted, cheating wife because her father is one of the best, sleaziest, underhanded divorce lawyers in our city. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 266

You deserved it 184

Premature

By Anonymous - 05/09/2022 03:00 - United States - Paris

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me at dinner, which would’ve been nice if we hadn’t been dating for only two months, and dinner was at Subway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 266

You deserved it 164

Invasion

By Anonymous - 26/08/2020 20:01 - United States

Today, I went to clean my roof when something buzzed by my head and a sting hit my neck. It turns out there's a small nest of, like, five hornets just chilling outside of my window. I found a dead one on the desk in my bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 265

You deserved it 134

The next generation

By Rosemary’s Vlogger - 07/01/2022 20:01

Today, my son announced he wants to be a YouTuber, and wants to make videos of himself doing violent things to pregnant women. He’s 9. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 265

You deserved it 374

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Wake up Messy DIY Embarrassing Awkward Love Cute Cheating Pregnancy Kids Family Money Birthday Animals Cats Kittens Dogs Parenting Crush Work Painful Sports Vacation Babysitter Parents AITA Holidays Friends Annoying

The Top

The Top

Today, my mum and I were referred to as "ladies". I'm happy for her, since she always complains about looking masculine. However, I would still like to be called a gentleman, seeing as how I am one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 255

You deserved it 3 662

Today, I was at the beach with my parents. They were walking hand in hand, when they spotted a crab. My Dad turned to my Mum and said, "Oh, must've crawled out of my pubes!" they both laughed and kissed. I don't think they realized I was within hearing distance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 976

You deserved it 3 872

Today, I met a girl at a bar. After buying her a few drinks, we decided to head back to her place. Not wanting to leave either of our cars, I followed her home. While driving, she sent me text because she missed her exit. I tried to text her back something witty and instead rear ended her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 582

You deserved it 69 691

Today, I went to hang out with an older friend of mine that I hadn't seen in a while. It was pretty fun and I was having a great time. That is, of course, until I hugged him goodbye and he leaned in and whispered in my ear, "I think we were fated to hook up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 723

You deserved it 384

Today, I confessed my feelings to my best friend, how I'm deeply in love with him. The consequence wasn't good, as he told me we should never talk to each other again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 722

You deserved it 257

Today, I realised exactly how bad my social anxiety has gotten when I had a panic attack watching someone ask someone else out on a fictional show. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 264

You deserved it 338