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    : 320



    Hanging out

    Anonymous - 07/08/2025 22:00 - United States

    Today, while giving a presentation, I felt something tickle my nose, but I kept talking through it. Eventually, someone in the front row raised their hand and said, “You’ve got a little, uh… something.” It was a full-on rogue booger. Hanging. Wiggling. For 10 minutes. FML
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    Warehouse blues

    Anonymous - 12/09/2025 22:00

    Today, I got up early to wait for my new sofa to be delivered. I spent yesterday taking apart and getting rid of my old crappy sofa. At midday, the furniture shop said they'd cancelled my order due to not having enough of that model in stock. Even if I re-order a sofa now, it's 2 weeks until they can deliver. FML
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    Collector's delight

    what is wrong with people - 18/09/2025 09:00

    Today, my boyfriend said he had a "long nose hair" collection. I laughed, thinking it was a joke. He then showed me a tin of long-ass hairs. I gagged. FML
    390
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    Productivity rules

    emily anne - 28/06/2025 17:00 - United States

    Today, while working at my concessions stand job, I was filling up popcorn boxes when my boss came over and told me I needed to be filling the boxes “a LOT faster.” I was going as fast as I possibly could. FML
    389
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    Gimme a human

    I HATE THESE BOTS - 03/01/2026 22:00

    Today, I spent ten minutes annoyingly arguing with a customer service chatbot, demanding to speak to a real human. When a real human finally joined, they opened with, “So... I see you’ve been yelling at my robot.” FML
    389
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    Gimme a crumb

    Anonymous - 07/06/2025 14:00 - United States - Manlius

    Today, my dad informed me that my mother's 100k life insurance policy was being processed perfectly, for him. I rent a falling apart mobile home and work 3 jobs to get by. He owns outright and already gets all her pension benefits, etc. I am receiving nothing as inheritance. FML
    389
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    Perfect performance

    I hate myself - 02/03/2025 22:00 - United States

    Today, I walked into a café for the first time, and as I opened the door, I slammed it into the face of a poor barista. Embarrassed, I tried to apologize while holding the door open for a woman behind me, only to have my hand slip and the door crash into her as well. I then stood there, frozen, as both of them just stared at me as I apologized with, "I swear I'm not a moron." FML
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    Many such cases

    Anonymous - 29/03/2025 11:00 - Canada - Eastern Passage

    Today, while trying to pick up dog poo, I tripped and landed in the pile. FML
    389
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    Good one, Meemaw

    Anonymous - 21/03/2025 20:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

    Today, I was teaching my grandma how to use her new tablet. After explaining and setting everything up, I left her alone to check her email. When I came back, she'd somehow "mistakenly" sent an email to our entire family with the subject line "Help! My grandson thinks I'm a dipshit and has kidnapped me!" FML
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    My brain hurts

    Team - 20/07/2025 12:00 - Germany

    Today, I feel so tired and hungover after going to the office summer party yesterday. I had no alcohol to drink and I left at 10pm, way earlier than all my team. My team drank a lot and stayed until after 1am. They all showed up earlier and looking better than me, while I'm a trainwreck with a bad headache. FML
    388
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    Beliefs

    OnTheReceivingEnd - 13/04/2025 13:00 - United States

    Today, I made the mistake of disagreeing with a friend I'd known and cared about for 25 years. The disagreement? She wanted me to believe the exact same way she did. I treated her with dignity and respect for her beliefs, even though I didn't agree with them, but I didn't make that a requirement. She did. FML
    388
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    Under pressure

    Anonymous - 18/07/2025 23:30 - India - Jamshedpur

    Today, after having pulled like three all-nighters and studying hardcore for months, when it came down to it, I couldn't solve even one question. I almost broke down. FML
    388
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    Get me out of here!

    Anonymous - 27/03/2025 03:00 - United States

    Today, because I'm still the emergency contact for my ex, I'm waiting to take him home after a routine surgery. I'm also trapped with his potential next girlfriend, who showed up and is trying to become best friends with me. She has giggled after every sentence for the past three hours like she's twelve. FML
    388
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    This is what TERFs believe

    Anonymous - 21/08/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, the kids got in a fight so my wife told our son boys shouldn’t hit girls, even if his sister is older and bigger. What happened next? He put on his sisters dress, claimed he’s a girl today, then hit his sister in the face with an iPad blacking her eye. I have no idea how to parent this. FML
    388
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    Boots on the ground

    Anonymous - 03/06/2025 00:00 - Germany - Essen

    Today, when I took off my shoes to change into my work boots, I smelled dog poop. I must have stepped in it on the way to my car this morning. Guess what the floor mat of my brand new car looks (and smells) like… FML
    388
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    Post-truth world

    Anonymous - 25/06/2025 12:00 - United States - Winchester

    Today, I had to block my mom on most social media sites because she's continually tagging me in the comments under blatantly fake AI videos, and asking me, "Is this one real??" FML
    387
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    Weight is just a number

    Anonymous - 23/02/2025 18:00 - United States

    Today, I was proud of going to the gym 3 times a week (instead of once a week) to get in relative shape. I even started doing light cardio and (I thought) started to eat better. I've gained six pounds, despite watching what I eat and even increasing the resistance on the exercise bike that I use. FML
    387
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    Be warned

    Anonymous - 07/09/2025 03:00 - United States

    Today, I have to admit that while I do love my children I absolutely fucking hate being a mom. I hate that I’ve completely lost my identity to motherhood. I don’t even feel like a person anymore. Just an invisible servant and nothing more. I didn’t know it would be like this. FML
    387
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    Love you too

    Blinken - 15/08/2025 08:00 - United States

    Today, I visited my grandma like I do every other day to tell her that I love her, and to remind her that Bud Light and Marlboro Lights is NOT part and what her doctor meant when he placed her on a "light diet." FML
    387
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    Disrespect

    - 24/12/2025 03:00

    Today, I found out my boyfriend of three and a half years is talking to two other women. I’m four months postpartum. Not to mention, he took our child to go see one of his girl best friend's house, when I specifically asked him not to. FML
    386
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    I can't win

    abt2bsingle - 13/05/2025 21:00 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

    Today, my girlfriend is at work, leaving me with her needy son again. If I don't play with him, he cries and throws a fit. If I don't clean the house, she will cry and throw a fit when she gets home. FML
    386
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    When Bruce Willis was dead at the end of Sixth Sense I…

    Anonymous - 15/03/2025 12:00 - Australia

    Today, pearlescent liquid soap squirted all over my white pants while washing my hands. I have 6 more hours of work looking like I jizzed myself. FML
    386
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    Daddy!

    Andy - 10/07/2025 12:00 - Australia

    Today, I went to pick up my niece from daycare. As I walked past the gates, a little kid yelled, “Daddy’s here!” and ran to hug me. His actual dad was right behind me, clearly very confused, while the daycare workers glared at me like they were about to call the cops on me. FML
    386
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    Hero complex

    Anonymous - 27/03/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom - Bristol

    Today, I was walking through a Tesco's car park when I saw a shopping trolley slowly rolling towards me. I figured I’d be a hero and stop it before it hit a car. As I grabbed it, I slipped on a patch of ice and crashed straight into the cart, sending right it into the car I was trying to protect, denting the door. FML
    386
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    Distant

    Anonymous - 31/03/2025 15:00 - Germany

    Today, my husband spoke enthusiastically about his day to my sister-in-law, who doesn't care about us or our family, and who I hate due to it. While I've been trying to get him to talk, ask him questions, and share about his day for years now, the most response I get is, "Leave me alone with my coffee" or literal snores. FML
    386
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    Bartering

    Anonymous - 31/01/2025 13:00 - Canada - Surrey

    Today, my 8 year-old niece gave me back a Fluttershy plush I gifted her 4 years ago. When I told her it was a gift from the heart, she insisted on exchanging it for something of equal value. FML
    386
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    Gushing

    Anonymous - 11/03/2025 22:00 - United States

    Today, we had to turn the water off due to a massive leak in the kitchen sink that the plumber was currently fixing. I managed to wait two hours before my uncooperative digestive tract said it couldn't wait any longer and I had to take a mega dump in the bathroom. I couldn't flush the toilet or wash my hands. FML
    386
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    The worst excuse

    Anonymous - 29/04/2025 00:00 - South Africa

    Today, after my boyfriend broke things off saying he couldn't handle being in a relationship after the death of his brother, I found out that he's back on Tinder not even three weeks after the break up. FML
    386
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    Good boy

    Anonymous - 07/02/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, someone has been knocking at my back door all day then running away, driving me mad. Turns out, next door has a new dog and the knocking was actually the dog wagging its tail hard against their back door. This means it won’t ever stop, it’s going to keep banging that damn tail forever. FML
    385
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    Pop off

    Anonymous - 24/04/2025 20:00 - Germany - Tostedt

    Today, I couldn’t wait to get home and get my boyfriend naked, which I did. Although, to be honest, popping every single pimple in the rash on his back was not the kind of foreplay I had had in mind. FML
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    FMyLife FMyLife
    FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, I drank 1.5 litres of water. I didn't go to the bathroom for 9 hours. During my one-hour trek home on public transport, I was busting to pee but I managed to hold it. Walking 200 metres from my bus stop to my house was agony, but I still held it. When I got to my front door, I peed my pants. FML
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    Today, I found out my sister scratches her butt with my toothbrush every time she is mad with me. FML
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    Today, after my windshield wipers being stolen twice in a row, I decided to hide in my car to catch the thief. I fell asleep. When I woke up, the new wipers were gone. FML
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    Today, after struggling to fall asleep due to stress, my cat decided to wake me up by standing on me and meowing until I got up. Just for me to show him that my boyfriend had already put food in his dish. FML
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    Today, my kid jumped from the couch into our Christmas tree. As she literally slid down the entire tree, it was like it was happening in slow motion. I was laughing so hard, I peed myself, so I had to clean up decorations and my own piss. FML
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    Today, my boss made me type up my own written warning, where I had to trash myself and describe my own "shocking incompetence". All the department heads are going to receive a copy of this. FML
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