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I Would have wrote more to be more specific but the site doesn't allow that much words. This is what happened: "Imagine a car moving in front of the whole school with legs sticking out of the window..." All My Friends laughed, my mom never knew, she never stopped, i was scared as **** to speak so i just got half of my body out in time as she drove off. She then stopped the car & realized asap & asked if i was okay. I was like "o.O?!"

By yashika - 03/07/2019 22:00 - United States - Denver

Today, I discovered that it doesn’t matter where I move, I will always wake up at 5 a.m. to the sound of construction directly above my ceiling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 585

You deserved it 146

By emmingle - 13/05/2013 23:05 - Canada - Burnaby

Today, I discovered that the "dish soap" my sister uses to clean our dishes when it's her turn, is actually a semi-toxic floor cleaner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 115

You deserved it 3 043

By youjustsuck - 25/07/2011 18:07 - United States

Today, I was home alone, and enjoying my freedom decided to walk around naked blaring my radio. What my mother forgot to tell me before she left was that a guy was coming to fix our dish washer today. Imagine our mutual surprise as I danced around the kitchen while getting a drink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 287

You deserved it 12 801

By rejected - 23/04/2009 04:20 - United States

Today, my friends and I were celebrating Spring Break by going out to a club. I saw a very, very cute girl sipping a drink at the bar all by herself. Trying to be a stud I walked over and said "What are you doing Friday night?" Her response: "Not you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 195

You deserved it 79 448

By oh shit - 06/07/2014 19:28 - United States - Palatine

Today, my girlfriend was feeling down because she has put on some weight. I tried to make her feel better by showing her I can still pick her up. I can, and I was even able to hide the fact that I shat myself doing it. I'm so romantic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 784

You deserved it 8 725

By Anonymous - 10/05/2013 23:16 - Switzerland - Saint Gallen

Today, I happily told my parents that my boyfriend proposed to me last night. My dad's response? "Marry that goofy bastard and you're out of the will." FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 450

You deserved it 5 635

By someone - 23/07/2011 08:50 - United States

Today, I'm staying in a hotel where the lights are automatic. They turn on when something moves and turn off when everything is still. I'm a sensitive sleeper and I move in my sleep, so the light wakes me up. It's currently 2 a.m. and all together I've gotten about 20 minutes of sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 573

You deserved it 4 459

By Anonymous - 27/09/2010 15:20 - Canada

Today, I found a video of my girlfriend having sex with her male best friend on her computer. When I confronted her about it she said it was from before we met. In the video, she was wearing the engagement ring I bought her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 070

You deserved it 3 798

By MALICEG - 26/05/2012 07:00 - United States - Oklahoma City

Today, there was a knock on my apartment door. It was the man from next-door, who sarcastically asked if I was alright, because he said he heard me screaming in agony. I was singing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 530

You deserved it 4 800

Hazardous waste

By Anonymous - 23/08/2023 16:00 - United States - Chesterfield

Today, I was taking a relaxing soak in the tub with my essential oils, when my husband walked in and proceeded to take the most foul-smelling dump ever. The toilet is right next to the bathtub, so my essential oils didn’t stand a chance. Besides that, our house has four other bathrooms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 988

You deserved it 176

By Anonymous - 28/06/2014 20:40 - United States - Oakland

Today, my soon to be mother-in-law sent out the invitations she made for my wedding. On them, it says "You are invited to this 'special' event". In the same way, I'm referred to as "special", and my name is misspelled. Hint taken, you bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 362

You deserved it 4 644

By shanxi - 23/05/2012 18:47 - United States

Today, I was discharged from the hospital after having scrotal surgery. When I got home, the anesthetic had worn off, but I felt okay. Then my dog jumped up at me, paws slamming straight into my nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 697

You deserved it 2 518

By KatrinaKitten - 16/07/2011 17:24 - United States

Today, I went to a Japanese restaurant, where the chefs cook the food right in front of you. Our chef tossed an egg in the air, but sadly didn't catch it. Don't worry though, my hair got it instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 100

You deserved it 3 556

Pencil

By thought that was a good thing - 07/06/2022 10:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend once again asked me if I could “not get so wet down there” when we have sex, because it “feels funny”. Ummm, even if I could control it, I never knew it was a problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 479

You deserved it 179

By DemiRawrs - 01/05/2013 17:23 - United States

Today, my mom accused me of being pregnant. She wouldn't believe me when I told her I'm a virgin, and she challenged me to take a pregnancy test. It came back with a false positive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 696

You deserved it 4 715

By muffins69 - 18/09/2010 02:34 - United States

Today, I untied the rope that was tied to my dog's collar because it was wrapped around the tree choking him. He immediately ran off down the street. I had to chase him barefoot in my boxers for 20 minutes till he got tired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 536

You deserved it 9 563

By Anonymous - 26/07/2019 06:12

Today, during a driving lesson, I accidentally rear-ended a BMW at a traffic light. The number plate was "Law Man." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 565

You deserved it 425

By FirstDaddy - 16/06/2014 21:38 - United States - Southfield

Today, my daughter told me that she liked her "other daddy" better. I don't know who's she talking about, but my wife is doing a good job telling her to be quiet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 326

You deserved it 4 484

By chercheurdusmartphone - 09/06/2017 17:44 - France - Paris

Today, my older brother asked me to go get his phone on his bed. I was in a good mood, so I did. He then continued, laughing, “don’t mistake it for the sex toys and used condoms!” I thought he was joking, but there were actually sex toys and used condoms on his bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 205

You deserved it 135

By Jon - 14/05/2012 21:46 - New Zealand - Christchurch

Today, I went to a club with some friends. I ordered two drinks from the waitress and gave her a fifty. She never returned with the change, and the rest of the staff claimed they didn't know who I was talking about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 732

You deserved it 6 243

Noise annoys

By cocacoola - 11/07/2011 14:24 - Iceland

Today, the couple downstairs decided they wanted to try a home birth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 800

You deserved it 4 323

By tenthousandspoon - 13/09/2010 00:08 - New Zealand

Today, at work, a three year old chucked a chocolate bar at me. It hit me square in the face. Her father praised her for her "quality arm." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 863

You deserved it 3 056

By damnit - 11/09/2010 20:46 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend called and told me he had a surprise for me and to meet up with him to find out. The big surprise was a consultation with a plastic surgeon for rhinoplasty surgery. I never disliked my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 067

You deserved it 2 584

By eightleggedtictac - 08/06/2014 15:10 - United States - Worcester

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend shrieking at the top of his lungs. I ran into the dining room where he was, to find him standing on the table screaming "Kill it!" while pointing at an unmoving spider the size of a Tic Tac on the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 806

You deserved it 6 861

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, my sister convinced my girlfriend that I cheated on her. All because I took the first slice of her birthday cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 601

You deserved it 5 485

Today, I signed my own plaster-cast to make people believe that I actually have friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 880

You deserved it 7 709

Today, I was playing with my cat and holding her upside down. She started frantically meowing, but I still continued on playing with her. Seconds later, she got explosive diarrhea everywhere, including my hair, face, shirt, and mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 248

You deserved it 89 833

Today, my girlfriend decided to bribe me to be good since we were going out to dinner with her parents by giving me a blowjob. The good news: it was one of the best she had ever given. The bad news: I came on her black dress. She responded by hitting in me in the nuts. Hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 244

You deserved it 30 269

Today, I was considering joining the army, so I asked my veteran uncle what the worst bits are. He told me the worst was learning for yourself just how horrible it is to see the light go out behind someone’s eyes as they die with your bullet in their chest. I don’t want to join the army anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 1 310

Today, I’m currently battling a cold that caused me to call into work yesterday and, as of this morning, I’ve also started my period and have the most painful cramps ever. Good thing I have the day off from work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 765

You deserved it 135