The Top

The tan actually looked really good, not orange. And I don't go tanning all the time. That was the first time ever. Just wanted to for prom. And I did get front bangs.

YouTube drama

By chrome dome - 22/04/2021 20:01

Today, my sister put hair remover in my shampoo as a "prank" for her YouTube channel. My mom grounded her for a month, but let her keep her dumb channel because she cried and said she’d kill herself if she had to delete it. Meanwhile, it’ll take years for my hair to grow back the length it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 561

You deserved it 99

By mastermind - 01/09/2019 02:00

Today, I can add "Ferrari" to the long list of cars I’ve almost been hit by. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 424

You deserved it 241

By melmel - 05/05/2014 05:07 - United States - Cumming

Today, I spent an hour explaining to a college student how you could have a baby and not be married. He still doesn't get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 785

You deserved it 4 567

By marymark - 13/04/2012 01:02 - United States - West Long Branch

Today, I woke up to a note from my parents saying we needed to talk. Assuming it was about the weed I'd left on my dresser, I quickly confessed. Turns out my dog died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 133

You deserved it 39 025

Karma

By fullmoonfml - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to moon people out of my friend's car window. I rolled down the window and mooned a random couple. You should have seen the looks on their faces when I had to get out of the car and pick up my phone and wallet, which were in my back pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 214

You deserved it 58 488

By stankness - 22/03/2013 15:01 - United States

Today, I had to endure a long face-to-face conversation with a coworker who had fierce BO. He had his fingers interlaced around the back of his head the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 371

You deserved it 2 793

Hyperloop

By disfordiploma - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out that I'm failing this semester because I've missed too many classes. I've missed the classes because I've been having panic attacks, a symptom of my anxiety disorder. I got the anxiety disorder because I was so afraid of failing school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108 701

You deserved it 28 551

Nuts

By Painful - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was sitting around a bonfire when an ember landed on my crotch. Without thinking, I quickly slapped at it and hit myself square in the nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 114

You deserved it 40 264

Sketchy

By Anonymous - 13/05/2021 02:01

Today, I met my boyfriend’s female friend. We all went out to dinner, he paid for her meal instead of mine, asked me why I’m not a redhead like her, and when he dropped her off at her house, spent the entire hour car ride talking about how perfect she is. He still has no idea why I’m upset with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 467

You deserved it 174

By dca101 - 20/03/2013 02:08 - United States

Today, my girlfriend left me because our "political views don't match" when I told her we needed to share house chores now that we live together. I know, I'm lost too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 538

You deserved it 2 943

By shitpile - 06/08/2010 18:09 - United States

Today, I was at a water park with my family. While on the 100ft slide, my father decided it would be a great idea to pants me. I slipped and went down the 100ft slide naked for everyone to see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 518

You deserved it 4 053

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Animals Dogs Gross School Intimacy NSFW Porn Scary Miscellaneous Cops Friends Movies Awkward Clumsy Pizza Delivery Clothes Trans Rights Ironic Work Health Healthy Lifestyle Poopoo peepee Love Divorce Frustration Sex Growing old My ex Pregnancy

The Top

Today, I finally reached the point where it became necessary to give my boyfriend an ultimatum: either clip your toenails, or we aren't having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 533

You deserved it 3 395

Today, I decided to pull some weeds in my backyard. Everything was going great until I got a concussion. My dog thought that it would be fun to headbutt me from a running start. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 765

You deserved it 2 937

Today, I was going out to my car with my sister's birthday present. I slipped on some ice and the present fell to the ground. I spent an hour wrapping it. I could hear the present break. I had gotten her $200 wine glasses. I then had to run to the nearest store and get her a CD instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 512

You deserved it 3 376

Today, at my bachelorette party, I got so wasted, I ended up giving my stripper a lap dance because he "wasn't doing it properly". There's photos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 314

You deserved it 51 942

Today, I walked out to my car to see four kids taking the hubcaps, radio, and license plates off of my truck. I chased them six blocks until I tripped and twisted my ankle. I limped back to my car and found a ticket on my windshield for $55 dollars. The reason? Missing license plates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 672

You deserved it 3 178

Today, I found out the girl I lost my virginity to during prom night is pregnant with my kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 436

You deserved it 2 324