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I had no idea she was doing this! My mom blamed me for not watching her closer. I thought she would know better since she's 14. Were both grounded though.

By Ihavealisp - 16/02/2011 02:32 - United States

Today, I fell down some steps, and my dad laughed at me. He then changed his facebook status to "My kid's an idiot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 705

You deserved it 7 059

All heart

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I was robbed at work. The guy stole my phone, bag, and laptop. Because of the robbery, I had to close the store two and a half hours early. My boss docked my hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 308

You deserved it 2 627

Awks…

By dotcomboy - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boss asked me to call his new phone to make sure it's working. When his phone didn't ring, he looked at my phone to confirm I called him. My boss then saw that I'd entered him into my phonebook as "Douchebag." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 210

You deserved it 80 187

By DD: - 19/02/2015 20:45 - United States - Denver

Today, I was on my way to work when my ex-wife drove past me in the car she got from me. She fucked me over so hard in the divorce that I have to ride my bike to work while wearing a full suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 183

You deserved it 3 962

Little Red Corvette

By ferrin10 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was mowing lawns for my summer job. I noticed next to me a shiny new Corvette being washed by the owner. I gave a friendly wave, just as I heard a big clank as the mower blade shot a rock into the side of the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 400

You deserved it 5 402

Slacker

By Anonymous - 13/05/2024 14:00 - United States - Babylon

Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd rather jerk off to sexy pictures of me than actually have sex, because he gets too tired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 546

You deserved it 128

By hclagopus - 14/11/2012 11:39 - Norway

Today, I brought a fluorescent tube to the store to make sure I got the correct replacement. Trying to charm the sexy cashier, I waved the tube in the air, saying "I need a new light sabre, there is no force left in this one and the Empire is attacking." Turns out she'd never heard of Star Wars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 523

You deserved it 30 895

hclagopus tells us more.

hclagopus 7

Thursday 15 November 2012 10:36

OP here. I did not try to pick her up - I am a 42 year old married father of three and even if I wanted a date I have enough knowledge of the world to know that hot twentysomething blondes prefer hot twentysomething hunks - but I did try to make her smile, and failed miserably. And my geek level is so low that I read paper papers and constantly need my twelve year old son to help with my Iphone. (Plus I`ve never seen the sequels) I realize the girl probably lacked humour more than Star Wars knowledge, but what the heck. My wife laughed her ass off when I told her, though, bless her.