By killingmyselfimmediately - 07/01/2019 20:00
The Top
So close, but yet so far
By socks - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States
By CLupo - 17/12/2015 05:06 - United States - San Francisco
CLupo tells us more.
The candidate
By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Mount Vernon
First day at work
By dumbass724 - 13/01/2020 20:00 - Canada - Brampton
By Anonymous - 02/03/2017 12:00
HR FML
By jobless - 01/12/2015 04:01 - New Zealand - Auckland
By shadowmuppet - 01/04/2017 02:00 - United States - Bronx
It's the thought that counts
By Not a day over 35 - 18/06/2013 13:06 - United States - Anchorage
Dude, get the message
By Just keep the pins - 25/12/2016 17:50 - Sweden - Floda
Thanks, I hate it
By wowgranny - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Tooele
By JackieD - 25/08/2014 18:05 - United States - Bellevue
Technique
By FailedSalesman - 17/12/2016 17:39 - United States - Lewisville
Classic prank
By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States
By emmamrose7 - 15/08/2014 03:36 - United States - Vista
By urinetrouble - 04/05/2017 12:00 - Canada - Hamilton
By marcranger - 11/08/2014 23:40 - United States - Denver
marcranger tells us more.
Hey all, OP here! Glad to see I made some of you laugh...I wish I could say the same about my cousin, his wife, and my aunt and uncle (the proud first-time grandparents)! At least my dad, who I was staying with for this event (I live up in the mountains, but this was in Denver), laughed his ass off when everyone else was out of earshot and said he honestly felt the same way (and since I was a baby once...thanks, Dad?). Oh, well. At the very least, I think the new parents will avoid me like the plague at future gatherings, even ones specifically planned to honor the new addition (oops), and this might get my relatives to back off about when exactly I'm making my own contribution to the family line.
By educatedreptile - 09/12/2016 16:21 - Canada - Yorkton
By whiskey'swino - 09/06/2019 14:19
Mix up
By Bd Grndp - 05/05/2022 14:00
By Murphs_Law - 16/11/2016 06:37 - United States
By Anonymous - 02/10/2010 04:04 - United States
rd_less_traveled tells us more.
hey everyone. I'm the ball kicker. To clear up a few things. 1-how i kicked his balls: My foot was halfway off the ground and i was bumped into causing me to stumble and landing my foot in his crotch. 2-why he went to the e.r: I was wearing steel toe boots (hindsight, not a good idea. but i had to go to work after class and i drop things on my feet alot and i work in a storage area. shit is heavy) 3-why i couldn't stop myself from kicking him: I have no answer for this. It was a horrible moment and I have yet to stop saying sorry. 4-how he is doing: there was no major damage to the actual testicles, but his inner thigh is bruised. In other words, he's fine. 5-he does forgive me and we went our first date the other night. and 6-about the asshole who ran into me: karma. thanks for all the advice, comments and other stuff that was said. Some of you guys are hilarious and it makes me feel better for the horrible incident.
By Anonymous - 06/07/2019 16:00
By needagoodlaugh - 10/11/2016 01:58 - United States - West Linn
Where am I?
By anonymus - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada - Toronto
Timing
By Anonymous - 12/09/2015 06:42 - United States - San Francisco
By Username - 14/07/2019 20:00
By ShowerGirl - 30/04/2013 07:54 - United States
Not so white lie
By mintyfresh - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States
Leave it
By caleighrossi - 16/06/2014 00:21 - United States - Ottumwa
Keywords
OP here, all of the suggestions saying go to a higher up are great, but the only reason I can't do that is because it's a family owned restaurant. I am the assistant manager and I've been working there for almost a year; I've only called out twice. My bosses are the owners son and nephew. There's not much I can do about the situation other than leave the job as this isn't the first time they've left early while I closed the restaurant. Thank you all for the concern about my grandmother. She is doing alright now and she's stable.