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Accident waiting to happen

By Anonymous - 03/01/2024 22:00

Today, after my husband bought our son a sword for Xmas, sure enough, I found a stab mark in my living room wallpaper, and the sword now has a bent tip. My son denies everything and my husband claims I’m overreacting by yelling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 498

You deserved it 218

Modern love

By Angang - 07/07/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend of three months only posts me on his Close Friends stories instead of his main stories, because he’s afraid of hurting his close female friend who he'd put in the friendzone. Apparently, she can’t stand him moving on with me. He values her opinion more than his relationship with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 423

You deserved it 119

I didn't ask for this

By SoWhat - 06/01/2024 00:00 - Switzerland

Today, an annoying ex-coworker I have ignored for 15 years sent me an e-mail to "inform me of her new address." The e-mail actually enclosed a video of her touring the new house and garden like a realtor. I skipped to the end where she humblebrags about how "grateful" she is "to be blessed with this property." FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 130

Poor little thing

By Yikes - 10/07/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I was at my friend's house, and his cat followed me to the bathroom. I accidentally knocked down a bottle of bug spray and went to pick it up, and the cat started freaking out. Apparently, he sprays her with water so often that she's become terrified of bottles in general. Now I feel like an asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 75

Helpless

By Anonymous - 11/01/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, my husband actually helped put our 4 year-old to bed because I was watching my nephews, who were about to be picked up. When I was sitting with my nephews in the living room, he yelled for me to help with our daughter. I said I couldn’t and he told me to shut up. I put her to bed every other night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 566

You deserved it 152

Reverse Uno card

By Anonymous - 12/07/2025 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I made a small mistake, I admit, but my boss screamed at me that I’m completely useless and that if my uncle weren’t senior manager he’d fire me. I think he’s mistaken me for someone else, since I don’t have any uncles, but if I tell him that now, I actually believe he will fire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 476

You deserved it 83

Get a second opinion

By Anonymous - 14/09/2022 10:30 - Lithuania

Today, I went to see a doctor due to some gastric distress I have. I came out with directions to buy a blood pressure monitor, I'm prohibited from doing sports, and have a possible diagnosis of arterial hypertension which I am way too young to have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 054

You deserved it 133

Happy wife, happy life

By seriously - 12/01/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, it's been six months since I got married and my wife has since gained over forty pounds of unhealthy weight. She's not depressed, she's very happy with the marriage, she's just "comfortable" now. We are in our early thirties, and we started off as workout partners. I've been going to the gym alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 763

You deserved it 217

How can I make everything about me?

By Anonymous - 16/07/2025 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, our pregnancy announcement was ruined by my dad who thought it would be funny to grab my boyfriend while yelling, "You got my daughter pregnant, boy! I’m going to kill you!" It wasn’t funny, there was just an awkward silence, and now this precious moment is something I’d rather forget. FML

I agree, your life sucks 472

You deserved it 189

Nostalgia is so last year

By Anonymous - 16/01/2024 06:00 - United States - Waukesha

Today, I posted a simple question on a Facebook group about 2000s nostalgia, talking about missing the old stuff and how I don't like modern stuff, and people got annoyed over that. What the fuck did I do to you? FML

I agree, your life sucks 248

You deserved it 463

J'ACCUSE!

By Anonymous - 15/01/2024 20:00 - United States - Sterling

Today, after I'd been working a 14-hour day, my wife texted me to tell me how she would like to kill me. Apparently, the lid to the garlic container was not screwed on tight enough and it spilled all in the fridge. How is that my fault? FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 173

Wax on, wax off

By Anonymous - 20/07/2025 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband asked me to wax his ass crack for him. It might have been funny or maybe even a kinky experience a few years ago, but now I had to navigate the wax around his haemorrhoid, which did start bleeding. I don’t get why he even wanted a smooth crack at our age. FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 106

No kinkshaming

By Anonymous - 20/01/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, my wife told me she doesn’t understand why I’m uncomfortable with her being the moderator of “Sex Talk” forum, the top pinned message board of which is “Adultery Cuckolding.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 445

You deserved it 195

Double agent

By Anonymous - 21/07/2025 22:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, I’ve been such an idiot. I believed everything my boyfriend told me about his ex being a bitter baby mama, keeping the kids from him, weaponizing custody, etc. Then she showed me all the messages of him making BS excuses to not even try to see his kids. He hasn’t made a visit in a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 464

You deserved it 150

Ice ice baby

By Freezing rain walk - 22/01/2024 06:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I finally got to take the bus to the store on this icy cold day. I got there at 1 pm and found it closed. Their website said they'd open late at 10 am. Then, I missed a bus home and had to walk back in the ice and sludge. I slipped, fell on my ass, and my shoes and socks got soaked in dirty ice water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 531

You deserved it 110

Slapstick

By That Dumbass Friend - 28/07/2025 12:00 - United States - Newport

Today, I laughed at my friend for tripping on the sidewalk. While imitating him to show “how stupid" he looked, I stepped on the exact same sidewalk, twisted my ankle, and fell over in front of a bunch of strangers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 869

How very dare you?

By Anonymous - 25/09/2022 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, in court, I was called a "pompous little gnome" by the woman I was there suing, for destroying my front garden with weed killer. The judge agreed with her and threw the case out for lack of evidence it was actually her that destroyed my garden. FML

I agree, your life sucks 946

You deserved it 189

Mucky

By Anonymous - 30/07/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I made a protein shake at the gym. I somehow didn't screw the lid on tight enough, so when I took one huge gulp, the shake exploded all over my face, shirt, and the gym mirror. Now I look like I lost a fight with a chocolate milkshake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 150

You deserved it 380

Baby mama

By Jezza - 02/08/2025 09:00 - United Kingdom - Portsmouth

Today, I told a coworker I loved her cute baby bump, and asked when 'the little guy' was due. She glared at me and said, “I had the baby two months ago. You saw him a month ago, here, in this office.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 63

You deserved it 926

Love is love

By Anonymous - 30/09/2022 01:00

Today, I found out my dad is dating my dead mom's best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 997

You deserved it 281

Mythbusters

By Anonymous - 30/01/2024 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, while trying to prove how easy it would be for a burglar to break in, my drunk dad threw a brick at my window. Luckily, he missed. It hit the wall and bounced off. Unluckily, it bounced off, landed on my wife’s car, broke the windscreen, slid off, and put a long scratch down the bonnet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 583

You deserved it 107

Bad connexion

By Anonymous - 04/08/2025 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, for his birthday, I bought my son the Xbox game he wanted. Seven hours for the game to install, two hours to download, then install an update, which failed twice and had to be restarted. He was a nightmare all afternoon waiting for it, then it was bedtime and the game still wasn’t ready. FML

I agree, your life sucks 488

You deserved it 153

Checking in

By Sarah - 09/08/2025 00:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I joined a Zoom call thinking it was a casual check-in. I was wearing a hoodie, sat cross-legged on my bed, and was sipping wine. I realised as it began that it was a formal client presentation with the CEO present. No one said anything… until after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 694

Let it be

By Anonymous - 09/02/2024 22:00 - United States - Wesley Chapel

Today, it seems that I can't enjoy one fucking weekend without my mom finding work for me to do to take up my time, and I'm sick of it! FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 315

Deity business

By Anonymous - 12/02/2024 00:00

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years donated his promise ring at the temple for it to be used to construct the idol's feet. The problem is that I made that ring for him from scratch and he didn’t even have it for 2 months. He was excited when he told me, and doesn’t understand why I’m upset. FML

I agree, your life sucks 626

You deserved it 167

No kinkshaming, but…

By "Armpit Licker" is the name of my band - 15/08/2025 22:00 - Netherlands

Today, I was going to hook up with a new girl. She told me not to shower or wear deodorant when I came over, which I thought was a little odd but went along with. As we were getting warmed up, she started licking my sweaty armpit and moaning loudly. This is probably too weird to tolerate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 441

You deserved it 112

Double standard

By Anonymous - 18/08/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I realized I sacrificed all my friends to make sure my marriage was successful, but sometimes when under extreme stress from my wife, I use the B-word and that’s enough for her to want to leave me. However, it’s perfectly fine for her to say "Fuck you" and that I’m a everything but a decent human being. FML

I agree, your life sucks 294

You deserved it 482

The people of TikTok must be stopped

By Impissed - 16/02/2024 15:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my girlfriend brought home her fourteenth effing Stanley Cup thermos cup contraption thing. They are taking over our tiny apartment. I can't deal with this madness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 552

You deserved it 114

Mother of the year

By Anonymous - 23/08/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, my bitch mother informed me I have two weeks to find a new place to live. When I said she legally has to give me thirty days, she said she doesn’t because I refuse to pay rent as an adult. I have schizophrenia, obesity, and I’m not obligated to pay her rent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131

You deserved it 1 122

Dinner is on me

By I have no words - 24/08/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, after a long and exhausting day at work, I had no energy to do much of anything, so with that in mind, I got Arby's on the way home. When I did get home and was trying to carry the bag inside, it ripped open and spilled my food all over the driveway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 501

You deserved it 107

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The Top

Today, I went to the bank to make a deposit. While I was waiting on my transaction, the bank tellers were making fun of me. I could tell cause I heard them through the speaker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 171

You deserved it 2 651

Today, my girlfriend found an enormous rose arrangement in the back seat of my car. The flowers were from my fire chief to his wife. I forgot to deliver them. I now have to replace them since my girlfriend thinks I got them for her. The arrangement cost $225. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 488

You deserved it 43 626

Today, while on my honeymoon with my new wife, I tried to be romantic by installing a clapper to the lights in our room. As things progressed, the noise of our love making triggered the lights on and off repeatedly. She began to laugh and we ended up just calling it an early night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 427

You deserved it 14 025

Today, I sent a text message to this girl I've been flirting with for a while now saying "How about coffee?". To which she answered "Great idea, I'll go and make myself one right now". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 209

You deserved it 3 397

Today, I went to move an intimate, very NSFW Word document to a secure folder on my phone. Instead, I accidentally sent it to a printer somewhere in my office building at work. I don't know which of my 40 coworkers or managers has it on their printer for when they arrive tomorrow morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 886

You deserved it 2 364

Today, I had my first golden shower. Too bad it was from my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 726

You deserved it 401