The Top

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Don't bite off more than you can chew

By What do I do? - 09/07/2025 15:00 - Germany - Berlin

Today, and for sometime, my husband and I have been discussing owning a home - a house or an apartment or other options. I've always wanted to live in a house, but I'm 100% sure I can't keep up with the chores or keep it clean. An apartment I can manage to clean, but not a house. I told him my vote is for apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 167

You deserved it 371

I'm not going back

By Anonymous - 07/01/2024 15:00 - United States - Hammonton

Today, despite having pretty bad social anxiety and clinical depression, and hardly ever leaving the house, I spent an hour and a half at a store figuring out what size pants I am. They just cancelled my order. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 174

Get back here

By Dog the bounty hunter - 11/07/2025 09:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my dog somehow figured out how to open the sliding glass door while I was taking a nap. I woke up to a text from my neighbor, saying, “Your damn dog is running around at the park annoying a bunch of strangers for food. You might want to come and grab her.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 354

You deserved it 174

City boy

By Anonymous - 10/01/2024 00:00 - Switzerland

Today, I walked 30 minutes with my new boyfriend from my chalet to the local supermarket, cutting through the woods. It was dark, but the moon shone bright and we had torches. He was so scared, he startled at every noise and even cried. When we got to town, he dumped me, and left on the next train. FML

I agree, your life sucks 690

You deserved it 177

Undisclosed annoyance

By Hdbelle - 13/07/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I waited on hold with an undisclosed government office for nearly two and a half hours, sitting through 45 minutes of Terms and Conditions, only for the clerk to finally answer, say “Hello” once, and then hang up on me before I could even respond. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 92

How did you end up here?

By Anonymous - 11/01/2024 20:00 - Ireland - Waterford

Today, I learned it’s apparently a “red flag” that I, at 27, do not have any social media, get my news from the local station, watch “regular” tv (non-streamed/not YouTube), and only use the internet for research or occasional online shopping. I just prefer real life. Is that so odd? FML

I agree, your life sucks 676

You deserved it 204

The heart wants…

By Anonymous - 15/07/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, my smartwatch notified me that my heart rate spiked at the same time as my partner was getting me to listen to her favourite band's favorite song, and she took it as I sign that we must like the same music, and that we are so compatible. What she doesn't know is that I was checking my ex’s social media on the side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 836

This is fine

By Anonymous - 16/01/2024 09:00 - India

Today, I misread a message that said they needed someone to volunteer for an event. Since the message was from my committee senior, I read the volunteer part and said yes. I missed the "and host it" part so now I have to give a speech in front of all the senior professors and the guests. FML

I agree, your life sucks 193

You deserved it 639

Choose your family wisely

By Anonymous - 18/07/2025 22:00 - Serbia - Belgrade

Today, did you ever ask yourself if someone loves you? I have, so many times, and my answer is always nobody. I live with my grandma and my sister; my sister has one boyfriend from Russia, and my grandma has sex every night, and I feel invisible. Only my neighbor makes me feel like a real family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 146

Hangry boy

By Anonymous - 17/01/2024 22:00 - Germany

Today, my mom’s greedy cat stole some milk I had left on the countertop, completely undeterred by the fact that not only was the milk in a plastic bag, it was also frozen solid. Yep, he actually managed to eat it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 148

I've got a lot going on, OK?

By Anonymous - 20/07/2025 15:00 - South Africa

Today, I'm going to visit my mother in hospital. She broke her hip and my father refused to take her to hospital for 6 days, insisting she would get better. My dog had cancer surgery, which will cost me a whole month's salary. I’m still recovering from 2 major surgeries myself, and my kids are being total dorks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 459

You deserved it 97

Lavish is out

By INeedAJob - 17/01/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, my sugar daddy-turned-boyfriend can no longer support my lavish lifestyle and told me to get a job. Ever since he divorced his wife and kids for me, he has to pay a hefty child support and alimony for them. This is way more than I bargained for. Now I can’t break up with him or he’ll think I’m a gold digger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61

You deserved it 2 279

Rollercoaster

By Anonymous - 23/01/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, it's been two months since I started dating a woman I met at work after she had found out her boyfriend cheated on her. She confessed to me she only looked through his phone to find evidence so she wouldn’t feel bad for liking me. I was happy as can be for two months. Now she’s now going back to her ex. We all see each other every Sunday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 486

You deserved it 244

Where are you?

By Anonymous - 31/07/2025 22:00 - Canada - Montreal

Today, I spent 20 minutes calling for my cat, worried she’d escaped. I found her in the bathroom, sitting in the sink, calmly watching me yell her name. She didn’t even flinch. I realized I’d been shouting “Fluffy!” at the open window. All my neighbors now probably know my cat’s name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 176

You deserved it 363

What was that?

By Meow - 30/01/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, my grandma gave me the task of picking up her cat from the vet. As I carried him out, I heard a really deep and scary noise that caused me to drop the pet taxi with him in it. Then I heard it again, more loudly this time. Turns out that's what his meow sounds like. He never meows, so I had no idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 187

Trigger happy

By Helen - 03/08/2025 03:00 - Netherlands - Creil

Today, my boyfriend saw a notification on my phone saying "Men's Singles". He lost his shit and dumped me. It was a tennis match. FML

I agree, your life sucks 524

You deserved it 103

Fetishizating weeboos are cringe

By wtfffbro - 02/10/2022 22:30 - United States - Arlington

Today, after I randomly ghosted an ex-friend and blocked her on my social media a few years ago for being too obsessed with Asian culture, I also saw the same girl making out with the same guy I’ve had a crush on the last few weeks. They’ve already started dating as of last night. Karma: 1 Me: 0. FML

I agree, your life sucks 246

You deserved it 1 211

Comma etiquette

By Anonymous - 05/08/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I was accused of using AI to write something, all because I used the Oxford Comma ; I use it all the time, and always will. The internet has become such a total shitshow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 477

You deserved it 104

Hanging out

By Anonymous - 07/08/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, while giving a presentation, I felt something tickle my nose, but I kept talking through it. Eventually, someone in the front row raised their hand and said, “You’ve got a little, uh… something.” It was a full-on rogue booger. Hanging. Wiggling. For 10 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 156

Down!

By Imnotfromhere - 23/07/2021 22:01

Today, I tripped over a dog and broke my elbow. I'm stuck dogsitting for the rest of the weekend and he won't stop jumping up at my broken arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 900

You deserved it 116

Triangle

By Anonymous - 05/02/2024 09:00 - France - Paris

Today, after I started dating a guy and a girl simultaneously to keep my options open, they turned out to be siblings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 175

You deserved it 1 053

Knock yourself out

By Anonymous - 10/08/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, my package with two brand new toys got delivered to the wrong apartment. Somewhere in this apartment complex, a stranger is either judging me or having the best day of their life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 103

Sending hugs

By Anonymous - 12/08/2025 09:00 - United States - North Augusta

Today, my mental illness hit rock bottom when I caught myself wishing I was buried next to my dog because nothing makes me happy anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 67

Nervous wreck

By Anonymous - 14/08/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I kept running into the same guy in every aisle of the supermarket. By the fifth time, I nervously joked, “I guess we’re destined to be soulmates.” He gave me a deadpan look and replied, “I work here.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 170

You deserved it 473

Overly polite in public

By Anonymous - 16/08/2025 09:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I was browsing the frozen section at the store when I saw movement in my peripheral vision. Thinking it was another customer, I said “Oh sorry, go ahead.” No one responded. I turned to see my own reflection in the freezer door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 134

The status quo is fine

By starlight starbright - 15/02/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I was chewed out and blocked by several of my “friends” because I never post anything political, and am therefore right wing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 549

You deserved it 129

Practice run

By Oops - 18/02/2024 12:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I went to console my cousin because I'd heard that her dog had passed away. As I opened the door, the first thing I saw was her extremely old and feeble (but still very much alive) dog. Turns out my friend was talking about HIS cousin, and I simply misheard. Trying to explain that to her was mighty awkward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 186

Better safe than sorry

By Anonymous - 21/08/2025 15:00 - Australia

Today, I thought I was going to shit myself at work. I speed-walked all the way to the bathroom clenching for dear life. Barely got my pants down while simultaneously sitting and unleashing. After all that, it was just a gigantic fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 88

Sneezy

By Karen - 20/10/2022 00:00 - United States - Kent

Today, I rang up a very rude customer. He was covered in cat hair and so were his reusable shopping bags. I’m very allergic to cats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 762

You deserved it 122

Basic terrorism

By Fuck ICE - 23/08/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I went to Home Depot with my boyfriend. There were a large number of men at the front of the store speaking Spanish. As we left, he ran back inside shouting, "LA MIGRA! LA MIGRA ESTA AQUI!" They screamed and ran in panic. I am dating a racist scumbag who thinks terrorizing minorities is funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 465

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The Top

Today, I'm studying abroad in Mexico and someone asked me what it's like to be from Minnesota. I responded in Spanish, in front of thirty people, what I thought translated to, "If you get cold, you can just put on a jacket." Apparently, what I thought meant "jacket" actually meant "masturbate". FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 408

You deserved it 5 424

Today, I went back to my flat after a night on the town and staying at my girlfriend's. My flat was flooded. I had been sick in the sink and left the tap on all night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 345

You deserved it 24 901

Today, in front of my friends, my mom came after me with a pair of tweezers exclaiming, "There's just a couple of hairs on your chin that need to be plucked." I'm a 14 year-old girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 617

You deserved it 365

Today, my male model boyfriend admitted to me that he has developed an eating disorder because of his career. He also told me we couldn't have sex anymore, because he might somehow absorb the food I eat, from my body, through intercourse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 802

You deserved it 311

Today, a tenant complained about me on the local news by name. The company I work for refuses to fix the electric in her building. I make $41K per year, and I’m “a selfish millionaire slumlord.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 979

You deserved it 184

Today, as I was driving home after work, it was already dark. Some person in all black clothing came out of nowhere and jumped on my hood. It was the crazy ex I’ve been avoiding for 3 years. Of course, he said I hit him on purpose for revenge. Funny seeing how I moved towns over to get away from him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 815

You deserved it 128