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Needy baby

By Guess that's why they call it suffoCATion - 06/11/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I'm taking care of my friend's cat while he's away for a while. She's very clingy and friendly, which I don't mind… or at least, I thought I didn't mind, until I tried to go to sleep and she insisted on lying on my face. I felt bad for having to kick her out of the bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 328

You deserved it 135

Convoluted

By TheDivorceCameFromNoWhere - 14/06/2026 03:00 - Germany

Today, I give my everything to my family and husband. Every penny I earn, hot meals daily, a clean house, and love. Despite all this, my husband asked me why I am still alive and told me to go and die. On my birthday. All because I mildly offended his third cousin against a ridiculous request. FML

I agree, your life sucks 491

You deserved it 78

Lazy

By father of an idiot - 06/03/2022 22:00

Today, my daughter had a flat tire. When she told me about it, I said, “Well, it’s a good thing you know how to change a tire!” She then replied that she has actually forgotten how to change a tire, because it’s “been too long.” It’s only been a couple months since I showed her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 969

You deserved it 304

Creepy kid

By Anonymous - 05/03/2022 22:00 - United States - Morganville

Today, I realized it was mistake telling my son to toughen up and fight his own battles when he told me he was getting bullied. Apparently, his idea of fighting his own battles involves ipecac. I don't know where he got it, but when I asked, he just gave the Kubrick stare and denied knowing what I was talking about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 314

You deserved it 1 024

Just the tip

By Anonymous - 15/06/2023 22:00

Today, my mother is mad at me because I dared, yes DARED, to go out with a girl who stands up to her instead of just meekly doing what she tells her. Which should tell you exactly what sort of woman my mother is, so you know this FML is just the tip of my lifelong misery iceberg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 934

You deserved it 151

The writing is on the wall

By Anonymous - 11/11/2024 15:00 - United States - West Chester

Today, I overheard the guy who hired me talking to one of my managers in hushed tones about me. I'm pretty sure he's going to send me an email soon, saying that my job "probably isn't the right fit" for me, which is part of what I overheard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 418

You deserved it 77

Broken haircut

By Anonymous - 20/06/2026 03:00 - Canada

Today, as a broke 19-year-old college student, I thought I could save money by cutting my own hair before a presentation. I did one side fine, got distracted and somehow made the other side two inches shorter. I spent the whole class angling my head like I had a neck injury. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123

You deserved it 359

Are you calling me a fatass?

By Asl94 - 16/01/2021 05:01

Today, my mom asked me what I wanted as a gift, so I said a Cricut machine. She replied, "You don’t need exercise equipment, you need to eat healthier." A Cricut is a sticker maker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 818

You deserved it 162

New balls

By boxerswontdo - 06/03/2022 02:00

Today, at physical therapy, even though I was wearing underwear, when I went on the leg press machine, my balls popped out of the bottom of my shorts. A bunch of times. The therapist saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 842

You deserved it 318

Backhanded

By Anonymous - 15/11/2024 15:00 - South Africa

Today, I miss someone I shouldn’t. Someone who made me feel like complete shit, but I hope they're happy wherever they are, and they take care of themselves. I hope they heal with their family. I hope they are good and things workout for them. That they realise how awful they were and finally change. FML

I agree, your life sucks 193

You deserved it 409

Love is in the air

By Anonymous - 21/06/2026 20:00 - United States - Baton Rouge

Today, a first date had gone surprisingly well. We spent two hours talking, laughed at the same dumb jokes, and even agreed to meet again. Walking home, I texted my best friend, "I think I actually like this one." Unfortunately, I sent it to my date instead. His response was, "Good to know I'm 'this one.'" FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 414

Scammed

By Anonymous - 12/01/2021 17:01

Today my husband went to buy a car from some guy from Facebook. He ended up giving the guy $1000 upfront before receiving the title or bill of sale. So now, we have a car we can't use, we're completely broke now, and the guy is ghosting us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 527

You deserved it 1 111

Stoking too close to the sun

By Anonymous - 16/11/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I was stoked to show my new car to my friends that I pulled into the parking lot a bit too fast, attempting to look cool. I accidentally hit the curb and ended up scratching the entire front bumper on a trash can that I didn't see. Now I have a busted up bumper, and my friends will probably never let me forget it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63

You deserved it 776

Meddling

By Anonymous - 24/06/2026 12:00 - United States - Augusta

Today, I received a letter from the doctor's office saying that I'd missed an appointment and could be dropped as a patient if I missed another. My mom scheduled the appointment for me without my knowledge, and never told me that I had one. I also can't make it to any appointments right now, because my car broke down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 74

Buzzfeed strikes again

By Actually Avoidant - 22/06/2023 00:02 - United States

Today, I took a test to see if I may have avoidant personality disorder, and if I do, how strong those traits are, as expressed by a percentage based on your answers. I got an 82% when I lied on a few questions, and a 93% when I was completely honest. I think I'd be forgiven for self diagnosing myself here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 246

You deserved it 611

BBUK 2024

By Pete - 17/11/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom - Swindon

Today, I had managed to avoid any mention of who won Big Brother because I couldn't watch it live, and I had planned to watch it on replay tonight. All was going to plan until my arsehole brother sent me a text that simply said, "Spoiler alert: Ali won." FML

I agree, your life sucks 345

You deserved it 212

I love travelling

By Seat 12A - 28/06/2026 20:00 - Spain - Madrid

Today, I booked the cheapest seat on a six-hour flight to save money. The person next to me spent the entire trip asleep on my shoulder, and I felt too awkward to wake them up. By the time we landed, my neck hurt so much that I had to explain to guards and baggage claim staff why I couldn't turn my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111

You deserved it 337

Dark humor

By Widowhumorwasamiss - 30/06/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I went on my first date since my husband passed six years ago. My date’s ex-wife happened to be at the restaurant he picked, and he confessed he expected her to be there. Without missing a beat, I told him that’s a perk of dating a widow, never running into the ex. Evidently a bit too dark for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 524

You deserved it 84

Brake check

By Suzie - 03/07/2026 15:00 - Australia

Today, I was taking my driving test and everything was going perfectly. As I pulled back into the testing center, I smiled because I knew I'd passed. Then I got out of the car without pulling the handbrake. The examiner had to jump back in and hit the brakes before it rolled into an actual parked car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 435

No fun

By Anonymous - 28/11/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, and for the past week, I’ve had a viral bug. Now I can handle the vomiting, the diarrhoea, headaches, muscle weakness, dizziness, fatigue, and coughing. What I cannot handle is how food and drink now taste bad. Like seriously, even water tastes bad. I’m slowly going insane from lack of flavour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 86

Birthday boy

By Pround auntie - 05/07/2026 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I carefully wrapped my nephew's birthday present so it would look perfect. He thanked me, pushed it aside, and spent the next two hours pretending the empty cardboard box was a spaceship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 254

You deserved it 142

Nervous Nelly

By Nervous wreck - 01/07/2023 03:00 - United States

Today, my social anxiety is so bad that the mere thought of talking to anyone, even someone who isn't even real, makes me feel ill and uneasy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 646

You deserved it 204

What is wrong with you?

By Anonymous - 11/07/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, my husband came to me with a proposition. He asked in all honesty if he could please have a one-time pass to have sex with someone else. He said that she’s a virgin and it’s always been his dream, and something every man deserves in this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 445

You deserved it 118

Literally #FAFO

By Anonymous - 12/07/2026 00:00 - United States - Santa Ana

Today, I’ve been in mama bear mode, fiercely defending my 20 year-old son against several slanderous paternity claims. Good news; one test came back negative. Bad news; five others came back positive. Now none of the girls wants me to see my grandchildren because I sided with my boy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 956

I've just got one of those faces

By Eric Rivera - 30/01/2021 05:01 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, while walking to the corner store, I noticed a car full of teenage girls. As I got closer to the store, one of them who was still getting in, says, "Hurry, here comes a pedo!" I turned to look and see who they were talking about, but there was no one behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 034

You deserved it 162

Practice makes perfect

By Anonymous - 08/12/2024 03:00 - United Kingdom - Sunderland

Today, I had to come to terms with the truth that I'm absolutely terrible at parallel parking. After three failed attempts, I finally gave up and parked in a spot labeled "No Parking" just to make it stop. Of course, a car pulled in right behind me and blocked me in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 140

You deserved it 587

Make it stop

By Anonymous - 17/07/2026 00:00 - United States - Leominster

Today, it sucks so bad because I have fibromyalgia, which is a chronic pain there is no cure for. Right now I hurt so bad that I want to go to the hospital to stop the pain, but they won’t do anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 57

PMS PSA

By Ishnar - 02/02/2021 11:01 - United States

Today, while my partner usually has their work mic muted, I went in and complained about my period. Turns out today was the one day they didn't have it muted. Their whole team heard, and I used to work with some of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 357

You deserved it 937

Pink eye, white throat

By Stephanie Kugelman - 27/04/2022 22:00

Today, I'd finally had enough of feeling awful and went to urgent care. As it turns out, the reason my throat was sore was because I have a sinus infection. The doctor explained my nose is producing pus, and that's what I'm swallowing and coughing up. Yuck. I also have pink eye on top of that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 936

You deserved it 168

Some mysteries remain unsolved

By Anonymous - 16/07/2026 20:00 - Canada - Windsor

Today, I picked up a receipt in a parking lot and noticed someone had spent $437 on decorative gourds. My entire day was ruined by questions that would never be answered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93

You deserved it 313

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The Top

Today, I told my best friend that I was gay and that I liked him. Turns out he's very open about the topic. Basically, he kissed me and then slapped me. I don't know what that's supposed to mean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 590

You deserved it 1 917

Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 629

You deserved it 97 583

Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. He said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 500

You deserved it 28 244

Today, I cracked an egg with a disgusting rotten black yolk into the pan, ruining my almost done breakfast. Last time this happened, just coincidentally, two deaths in the family and a near deadly mental breakdown followed. Now eggs seem too gross to eat, and I’m afraid this time was another bad omen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 071

You deserved it 166

Today, I tried out my new noise-canceling headphones while vacuuming my house. They worked so well that I didn't hear the vacuum stop when the plug fell out of the outlet. I accidentally had the vacuum off the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 511

You deserved it 1 040

Today, I gave a speech at my best friend’s wedding. I wanted to say, “You both look beautiful together.” Instead, nerves took over, and I blurted out, “You both look beautiful naked.” In front of 100 people. And a priest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 201

You deserved it 394