The Top

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The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

By music man - 25/02/2012 00:50 - United States

Today, I told my girlfriend of two years that I love her. She replied, "Um, I don't mean to be rude, but can you just shut up?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 162

You deserved it 3 867

By poncho31 - 22/05/2010 08:08 - United States

Today, I drove 6 hours to make a job interview missing my best friends' wedding. The interview is actually tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 651

You deserved it 48 574

Cheers

By Anonymous - 09/09/2009 01:22 - United States

Today, I spent all day at the hospital with my grandma for some tests. When I drove her back home she decided to thank me with $50. Knowing she is unemployed, I told her I couldn't take a whole $50. She replied with "Ungrateful, just like your mother", then took the money and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 737

You deserved it 4 616

Money changes everything

By Anonymous - 01/10/2022 14:00 - Australia - Crows Nest

Today, after my brother took his own life in 2020, my mother launched legal challenges to get 100% of the estate, as he'd left it to my sons as he had no kids. She was successful as the insurance company believed her lies with no proof. It took two years in court to overturn this. This ordeal has crippled me mentally and emotionally. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 582

You deserved it 130

Wishful thinking

By Anonymous - 15/07/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife told me she’s pregnant and we went through the whole range of emotions together, surprise, happiness, tears, anger, acceptance, you name it. An hour later she said she wanted to save the pregnancy test for memories. Guess she forgot her glasses, it very clearly says NOT pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 508

You deserved it 105

Wiped out

By At least I came... - 17/09/2022 02:00 - Germany - Frechen

Today, my wife and I had a quickie, then my wife left to fetch our daughter afterward. I wanted to work out, but after that orgasm, I didn't have the energy. I wrote my wife that due to my recent orgasm, I was too weak for sport. Turns out I wrote it to a group chat including my wife and mother-in-law. FML

I agree, your life sucks 564

You deserved it 1 904

Alexa, play "Hot Hot Hot" by The Cure

By Talented73 - 07/07/2021 22:01 - United States - Yonkers

Today, we're in the middle of a heatwave. When I woke up this morning, I noticed that my scrotum was stuck to the side of my leg from all the perspiration. I had to actually peel it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 899

You deserved it 161

Yummy

By Anonymous - 22/01/2024 20:00 - Germany

Today, my boyfriend brought home some expensive ice cream and we licked it off of each other. It was fun until we learned that dried ice cream on skin smells almost exactly like puke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 262

You deserved it 417

Harness your hopes

By Debz - 24/07/2025 09:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, my boyfriend took me to a restaurant for lunch and said, “It’s time we talk about our future.” I got all emotional, thinking he was going to propose. Instead, he calmly told me he’s moving to another country. I cried into my breadsticks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 517

You deserved it 98

By anonymous - 18/02/2012 22:07 - United States

Today, I realized that with all the money I've spent on repairs for my iPhone through the months, I could have bought a phone that doesn't die horribly whenever I so much as give it a mean look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 700

You deserved it 26 152

Thanks, privatisation!

By Sivvus - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Reserved

Today, I paid £140 for a train ticket. All the seats were full. When I sat in the corridor the guard yelled at me. I paid £140 to stand outside a stinking train toilet for 7 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 446

You deserved it 3 453

Give it to me baby!

By Anonymous - 26/01/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend is so terrified of having a baby that he won’t screw me, even though I’m on the pill and we have condoms. He gets so worked up, he usually goes soft before we get the condom on. His oral game is on point but I just want a good hard dicking, is that too much to ask? FML

I agree, your life sucks 554

You deserved it 198

By mee - 22/01/2013 18:49 - United States - Peabody

Today, I went and bought lunch for all the people I work with. The only meal the place forgot was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 363

You deserved it 3 319

By no tp - 15/02/2012 01:26 - United States

Today, I forgot to grab toilet paper on the way home from work. Since I don't have a car and all of my friends have plans for Valentine's Day I'm now down to wiping with cotton balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 815

You deserved it 8 342

In this economy?!

By sorrygranny - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was at the gas station with my grandma. After I slid her card and began to pump, I convinced her that it was a lot easier and more convenient to pay at the pump with your credit card instead of paying inside. She yelled as I realized I went $20 over what she had to spend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 153

You deserved it 41 898

Creepy crawlies

By xUnluckyx - 18/03/2010 05:45 - Canada

Today, I was working, ripping siding off a house. I pulled off a sheet that was over my head. I got rained with what I thought was wood chips that were behind the siding. Turns out they were dead grasshoppers. Guess what I found in my bra after work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 247

You deserved it 3 811

Long time coming

By Emma - 10/10/2022 03:30

Today, my best friend announced her engagement to my ex. We broke up two days ago. I’m no longer speaking to her. She tells me I’m being a drama queen and to “stop throwing a pity party” because “If he was the one he would still be with you.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 363

You deserved it 132

Classic

By Anonymous - 05/08/2025 20:00 - Namibia

Today, I found my girlfriend in bed with her gym trainer. They said they were doing cardio. FML

I agree, your life sucks 503

You deserved it 77

By Dale - 21/02/2009 02:20 - Costa Rica

Today, I got to Costa Rica for my first vacation in five years. I immediately rented a scooter for the week after checking into my prepaid, no refunds, hotel. On the way back from the rental agency I hit a pothole and broke my leg and ripped the skin off my foot. I'm flying home tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 544

You deserved it 4 194

Flewchart

By Noname - 20/02/2009 05:30 - South Africa

Today, at a strategy session, my manager displayed a flowchart of his employees. I wasn't included. Apparently I had been fired and they forgot to tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 800

You deserved it 2 458

Recycled material

By AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA - 06/02/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, my parents and I went out to lunch with my grandma, where my mom proceeded to tell my grandma the same five or six stories she always tells her. My grandma does not have dementia or Alzheimer's. NOBODY in my family does. I, however, have great exasperation from wanting to hear something else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 503

You deserved it 116

By Anonymous - 17/01/2013 00:53 - United States - Wahiawa

Today, I went on a run with my crush. She expressed how happy she was to have a decent running partner, because the last one kept complaining he thought he might throw up. We got to the top of the hill and I puked right in front of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 673

You deserved it 4 615

By Unfortunately Me - 09/01/2014 00:54 - United States - San Jose

Today, I was asked to go to a ball by the guy I like. The theme is masquerade. He made me a Robin mask; he's wearing a Batman mask. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 120

You deserved it 12 073

Navigating discourse

By The tolerant left - 12/10/2022 04:00 - United States

Today, my class had a meeting with a representative of our state, encouraging us to "attempt to politely engage with people who disagree with you." Not even an hour later, I saw an image on social media comparing a prominent political figure to Satan. How the fuck am I supposed to engage with someone like that? FML

I agree, your life sucks 719

You deserved it 190

Unreasonable

By Anonymous - 12/02/2024 12:00 - United States - Spokane

Today, my girlfriend accused me of cheating, all because I don't text her throughout the day. Last week she told me she would get fired if she was caught reading texts at work, and to stop texting her during her work hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 616

You deserved it 104

By Painfulfaceforme - 14/03/2010 02:30 - Canada

Today, I followed an acne treatment. It was only after I'd finished the treatment that I read the bottom line, stating "Do not scrub your face". I only had one pimple to start with, now it looks like I sandpapered my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 789

You deserved it 31 293

This ol' truck

By Anonymous - 27/08/2009 23:49 - United States

Today, while driving, I realized I had left my phone on top of my car when I was getting in. Panicking, I drove back to look for it. I found it in the middle of the street, still intact. Yay! When I went back to my car, I noticed I had locked my door, and the keys were in the ignition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 152

You deserved it 38 659

By Anonymous - 02/01/2014 02:32 - United Kingdom - Chelmsford

Today, I finally got proof of my theory when the dog came downstairs at 2 in the morning, looked me dead in the eye, pissed on the rug and took my socks before disappearing back upstairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 590

You deserved it 4 293

By AvengedSevenX - 03/02/2012 15:49 - United Kingdom

Today, I came home from work and went into the bathroom. I saw a poo on the toilet lid, and thinking it was a trick toy that my son had got to trick me, I picked it up. It wasn't a toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 033

You deserved it 25 744

Unsociable media

By Anonymous - 31/07/2021 00:01

Today, I'm a social media manager, and a client complained about having to put forward her personality to gain followers, also refusing to promote her works personally on camera. She's an actress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 863

You deserved it 106

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The Top

Today, my brother decided to help me artificially age some of my artwork by singeing the edges slightly. Apparently "my brother set fire to my homework" isn't a valid excuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 894

You deserved it 6 454

Today, the highlight of my day was someone prank-calling me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 875

You deserved it 5 506

Today, I released some ducks I had hand raised with my sisters at a local lake. They were raised around my huge German Shepherd, which explains why they didn't freak out when two huge dogs came out of no where and killed three of them, in front of my little sisters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 827

You deserved it 7 488

Today, I had to do an assignment about my greatest achievement and about an award I've received. I don't have either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 052

You deserved it 256

Today, I was screamed at for not doing the dishes because I was exhausted. Last year, when my arm was broken, I did all my chores without complaint. I don’t know how to explain to my parents that I’d much, much rather work with a broken arm than while tired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 861

You deserved it 170

Today, I was told by both my parents that I was going to hell and had a “terrorist mentality” because I said our archdiocese deserves to go bankrupt from all their abuse cases. FML

I agree, your life sucks 980

You deserved it 131