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Thanks for the support

By Anonymous - 03/06/2023 22:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I told my family that I'm on probation at work. I help my family out financially, working in a field that they pressured me to pursue. Because they are aggressive, they asked if it was because I fought with someone at work. I told them it was because my boss says I'm too soft. Their response? "He's right." FML

I agree, your life sucks 819

You deserved it 189

Lost in translation

By Demotivation - 02/07/2013 14:35 - Germany - Berlin

Today, I was once again handed a document to translate, along with the comment, "Good luck, it doesn't make sense to begin with." If my translation doesn't, though, I won't get paid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 466

You deserved it 3 089

Bad day

By Anonymous - 12/11/2010 05:37 - United States

Today, I accidentally set off an alarm at the school I work for. No one was there, I didn't have the code or password the company needed, my boss wouldn't answer his phone, three policemen interrogated me and asked for ID, but realized I left home without my wallet. There was nothing I could do. I cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 234

You deserved it 5 824

Worst enemy

By vitalcheese - 20/05/2009 19:12 - United States

Today, I was walking around my house without a shirt on after my shower. I picked up my cat and walked around the corner… Just as my dad turned on the vacuum. Now I have 6 rather deep bloody holes in my shoulder and chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 198

You deserved it 8 236

By Marcella_03 - 05/12/2009 13:22 - United Kingdom

Today, my family and I noticed that our Christmas tree had been stolen from our front garden. Last night, a group of girls from my village posted a status on Facebook stating how drunk they were, and how they had stolen a Christmas tree. I "liked" it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 771

You deserved it 16 017

Not gonna happen

By notahotel - 10/06/2026 12:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my parents are calling me a spoilt brat and threatening to disown me if I don't let my sister, her six kids, and freshly out of jail boyfriend move into the house I spent 10 years working my ass off to buy without having a mortgage. Sis said I can sleep on the lounge as long as I pay rent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 694

You deserved it 63

By Anonymous - 19/09/2014 15:30 - United States - Montpelier

Today, I went with a couple of my friends to see a friend who's fallen very ill. Her dad walked in with a gun and demanded to know which of us had gotten his daughter pregnant. By the time I realized it was a joke, I'd already pissed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 573

You deserved it 5 272

Down the hatch

By Anonymous - 05/11/2024 15:00 - United States - Boston

Today, I woke up with a hangover and a pounding headache and tried to take an ibuprofen with a glass of water. I missed my mouth and threw the pill directly into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 507

By greatdriver...4 - 31/08/2011 11:07 - United States

Today, I tried to back out of a spot in a parking garage. I did a 12 point turn, hit the car behind me and still didn't manage to get out of the spot. Everyone was staring at me, and the attendant had to come over and move my car for me. I have to park there every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 885

You deserved it 26 770

By Sassers - 03/12/2009 21:08 - United States

Today, I heard a loud crashing noise. I ran into the kitchen to see what it was. My cat had knocked over my fish bowl and had my Beta in her mouth. After scolding her and rescuing it, I decided to clean its bowl. When I went to dump some of the water in the sink, my fish went down the drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 861

You deserved it 35 042

Happy New Year!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2021 but it's good stuff

Today, my New Year’s Eve consisted of four things: being home alone, drinking cheap alcohol out of a tooth mug, getting an upset stomach from that, then going to bed early with ear plugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 947

You deserved it 367

By lucas_urev - 15/09/2014 22:19 - United States - Cold Spring Harbor

Today, I had made a cup of my favorite coffee, which I had recently found to be discontinued. To accompany this last cup, I went to get a muffin. As I turned around, I see my son pouring the cup out because I out put it next to the sink and he thought it was dirty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 786

You deserved it 7 156

It wasn't me

By Anonymous - 04/01/2021 20:01 - United Kingdom - Gosport

Today, my partner thought I was having an affair because I received a video call but declined it. It was from my daughter, and I declined it because I was already on a video call with my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 937

You deserved it 102

Leaked internals

By Poopy pants - 12/06/2023 12:00

Today, my anus has given up the ghost. Now if I vomit, have a violent coughing fit, or orgasm too intensely, I will shit myself. Even if I have absolutely no gas or need to go. I'm scared to leave the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 903

You deserved it 142

By goincrazy - 16/07/2012 08:12 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, my thoughts that I'm going crazy were confirmed when I got into the shower with my socks on. The worst part is that I didn't realize it for a good five minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 323

You deserved it 5 490

By Anonymous - 07/11/2010 11:14 - Netherlands

Today, I was jogging, and I saw a little boy walking. Crying and all alone. Thinking that he was probably lost, I asked to him with my sweetest voice: 'Hi there, did you lose somebody?' He screamed terrified and ran away. This is the second time this has happened to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 665

You deserved it 5 790

By ihatecats - 01/12/2009 07:05 - United States

Today, I heard my cat climbing on the counters in the kitchen. To prevent a tremendous avalanche of dishes, I picked up the cat and put it outside. She got scared from the blinds and scurried away leaving deep scratches across my nipple. I wasn't wearing a shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 194

You deserved it 16 619

They're all out to get me

By Anonymous - 21/06/2026 12:00 - United States - Rialto

Today, we drove for four days across states. My dad refused to let us go into the amusement park or check into the hotel we'd traveled for. The park is now cashless and he swears that it’s a government conspiracy to monitor and control us. He made us sleep in the car before going home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 69

Consent

By SirEnigM0nk - 08/03/2022 05:22 - United States - Riderwood

Today, during a Zoom meeting to discuss genetic disorders, my mom chose to share my challenges and experiences. I might have approved, had she acknowledged my presence and asked my permission instead of speaking before me. Thanks Mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 311

You deserved it 219

SirEnigM0nk tells us more.

SirEnigM0nk 22

Monday 7 March 2022 20:55

Hello everyone, OP here. So to give a bit of background: our 14 month old was diagnosed with a relatively rare genetic defect which has contributed to her delayed development. My wife and I met with other parents whose kids have similar conditions to share our experiences and learn about treatment efforts. My mom was present, and though she has a right to speak her piece, she tends to speak off the cuff. She launched into my story without asking first. Further, she did so before my wife and I had a chance to share our daughter's story. So yeah, I felt thrown under the bus. Just a bit.

Frustrated

By Anonymous - 16/11/2024 15:00 - United Kingdom - Castleford

Today, I have a stutter that gets worse with stress. We got a new supervisor today and the first thing she said to me was, “Either spit it out or write it in an email, for fuck's sake!” I’m now so scared of her, I go almost mute if we’re in the same room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 607

You deserved it 117

Dad, what have you done?

By Anonymous - 18/06/2023 00:02

Today, I still don’t know how to act in front of my mother in law. She thinks that the Earth is flat and told her kids that all sunscreens cause cancer. She also has other theories that make me feel weird. FML

I agree, your life sucks 837

You deserved it 133

Doggos 4 Life

By Jerry01 - 19/11/2024 03:00 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, in the middle of what I thought was an empty park, I told my dog he’s the “goodest, bestest boy” while out on a walk. A stranger appeared out of nowhere, gave me a thumbs-up, and said, “You too, champ.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 170

Mystery

By Death_Arc_Angel - 22/01/2021 14:09 - Trinidad and Tobago - Fyzabad

Spicy

Today, we're in the middle of a contagious deadly pandemic, and despite not having physical/sexual contact with anyone in over a year, I managed to contract herpes. I don't even know how I got it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 405

You deserved it 185

Coming out

By Anonymous - 22/06/2023 22:00

Spicy

Today, I found out that my boyfriend has been cheating on me with men, and gets turned on by the sound of men moaning and having sex. I've been his girlfriend for 7 years. I've just been his cover up this whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 524

You deserved it 191

By Anonymous - 20/06/2013 02:23 - United States - Kansas City

Today, my boyfriend of 2 months got upset and frustrated with me because he had yet to meet my mom. I'd told him on our first date that she passed away 4 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 729

You deserved it 3 626

Charity

By DreDre - 12/12/2019 03:00

Today, I found out that the dude I love has been taking the money I used to support him and buying heroin with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 052

You deserved it 737

It's not what you think!

By HenryJ - 22/11/2024 22:00 - Australia

Today, I spilled water on the front of my pants right before a meeting so I tried drying them with the hand dryer in the bathroom. A coworker walked in just as I was awkwardly squatting in front of the machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 358

You deserved it 149

By yummy(: - 31/10/2010 02:14 - United States

Today, my boyfriend, who is a great cook, decided to try his hand at baking. The cookies he made looked weird but tasted good. I jokingly said, "They taste great, but they look awful!" He responded by saying, "I could say the same thing about you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 938

You deserved it 27 431

Monday Monday, so good to me…

By Anonymous - 26/06/2023 18:00 - Australia

Today, my 73 year-old coworker has made a mountain of work for me to plough through due to her incompetence. I had to work through over 400 emails, since she thought unplugging the router would help, and in doing so, I have picked up on hundreds of mistakes she has made with clients, and had to apologise to each one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 827

You deserved it 129

Blockade

By I've got skills - 26/11/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, since I've been enduring a sore throat, I got Chloraseptic lozenges to finally get a bit of relief. When I put one in my mouth, I nearly choked on it. Imagine that: trying to soothe your throat, and you almost die by accidentally obstructing it instead. The irony almost hurts even more than my throat does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 160

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The Top

The Top

Today, the weather was so hot that I couldn't stop sweating profusely while using the restroom. Ever slipped off the toilet seat and hit the floor hard due to ass-sweat? Not a pleasant experience. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 490

You deserved it 6 438

Today, my in-laws came for dinner. My 5-year-old son chose that as the perfect time to say, "Good girls always swallow!" when my daughter coughed up some of her food. I have no idea where he heard it, but my mother-in-law blamed me, and my wife had to convince her not to call CPS on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 076

You deserved it 3 760

Today, I scratched a lottery ticket I had gotten for my birthday and won $10,000. In celebration, I jumped up and raised my hands directly into a ceiling fan. Oh, and it was a fake ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 415

You deserved it 6 100

Today, I found out I was getting a new bed for my room. Then find out it was my great-grandmother's. The one she died in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 582

You deserved it 2 806

Today, my ex-fiancé married the woman he cheated on me with. Their wedding was an exact replica of how I had planned mine to be, decorations, colors, cake, etc. Oh, and she also copied the dress I'd said yes to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 458

You deserved it 149

Today, it occurred to me just how dependent I am on my parents, and that I would be totally fucked if something happened to them. The state of the world right now makes it impossible for young people to get anywhere. Especially one who can't drive and can barely talk to anyone without having a panic attack. AKA: Me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 345

You deserved it 571