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OP here again. Wow i haven't been on this site in forever. I can't even see him every month now, I see him every few months, and of course, ALWAYS ON MY PERIOD. That's life I suppose. And no I can't do birth control to EVERYONE who said it, all kinds effected me badly! :)

By looke27 - 13/11/2010 07:21 - United States

Today, my girlfriend thought she was stronger than me so we arm wrestled. She won. I used both hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 328

You deserved it 37 644

Leave spiders alone

By Anonymous - 01/01/2021 08:01 - United States - Atoka

Today, I took a stick lighter and used it to set a large spider on fire to kill it, as stepping on it could possibly release its babies if it were a momma. I ignited more than the spider, and had to call the fire department. FML

I agree, your life sucks 200

You deserved it 1 976

They tried to make me go to rehab, I said OK

By Anonymous - 11/04/2022 00:01 - United States - Underhill

Today, my ex-husband checked himself into rehab after a fight with his girlfriend of 6 months. We were together for 14 years, and have 3 children together. We divorced because of his drinking. His wife and kids weren't worth enough to him to get help, but apparently his new girlfriend is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 587

You deserved it 241

Get on with it!

By Anonymous - 31/05/2023 00:02

Today, I told my fiancée I was going to the gym. She gave me a dozen "quick, easy errands" that took me over three hours to finish. When I was done, I called her and said I was going to the gym now. She yelled, "You still haven't gone? You've been out for days! What have you been doing?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 970

You deserved it 184

Oh, the irony

By HassledAirfarer - 07/12/2009 02:08 - United States

Today, I was on a red-eye flight, and the woman beside me was chattering loudly to her friend. I opened my laptop and got to work. Suddenly, one of the women turned to me and told me that the clicking of my keyboard was too loud. She then called me an "inconsiderate, selfish bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 071

You deserved it 2 451

Spoiled

By RIP - 31/10/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, I finally got my boyfriend to watch one of my favorite TV shows. I was excitedly talking when he interrupted me and angrily said, "Can you stop with the fucking spoilers?" I then realized I'd spoiled half the show. He left to play video games. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89

You deserved it 985

By Quelestvotreprobleme? - 29/03/2013 09:14 - Turquie - Ankara

Today, I checked in at a hotel, got the keys and went up to my room. However, there seemed to be a problem, so I went back to the front desk. “Excuse me, but there’s already someone in my room!” The reply I got was, “So, what’s the problem?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 710

You deserved it 51

By chubbyg - 20/09/2014 12:23 - Australia - Clarinda

Today, my boyfriend asked me when I was going to shave my arms now that summer is coming in Australia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 368

You deserved it 6 479

By Wino - 05/12/2009 04:08 - United States

Today, I went to the grocery store to stock up on booze for the weekend. After the cashier commented on the size my purchase, I claimed to be hosting a dinner party tonight. I'm not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 799

You deserved it 34 571

Cougar

By Anonymous - 30/12/2020 08:08 - Canada

Today, I was at the laundromat doing laundry with my mom when the guy running the place asked if we were "together". I thought this was just because of Covid and social distancing, but it turns out he thought my mom was my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 839

You deserved it 104

I'm so tired

By Anonymous - 04/11/2024 15:00 - United States - Romeoville

Today, I'm locked out of my phone, out of my email, and out of my credit card. All websites to restore access to all of these send text messages to your phone or an app to unlock them. On top of that, I only got 3 hours of sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375

You deserved it 103

We live in a society!

By hungry n hypoglycemic - 06/01/2021 17:01

Today, after standing in line for most of my lunch break just to buy food, some asshole with a cart full of stuff cut in front of me. He claimed that he was there the whole time, and the whole line, plus the cashier backed him up. I missed lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 010

You deserved it 126

Sir Alan no Sugar

By Anonymous - 21/03/2022 10:00 - Australia - Thirroul

Today, I realised the project I’ve been tirelessly working on for 6 months is actually going to cost the company $380,000. I thought the negative symbol was a saving, not a loss. I'm a senior analyst for the company, or at least… I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 266

You deserved it 1 292

We live in a society

By Anonymous - 04/03/2022 03:59 - United States - Steele

Today, my family and friends have absolutely refused to comprehend that I hate being touched. They think it's because of how unbearably ticklish I am, and they call me a "Drama Queen" for it. I suffer from haphephobia. We live in a society where people who have very real phobias are referred to as "overdramatic." FML

I agree, your life sucks 956

You deserved it 294

Breadwinning

By Anonymous - 14/06/2023 12:00 - Australia

Today, it's been a year since my partner and I opened our business. To keep it running, I've had to work 2 jobs just to make ends meet, as well as run the business. My partner has focused on the business. He just got a job offer that would mean we close and move, and I would only need to work part-time. He refused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 906

You deserved it 149

We need more information

By Anonymous - 18/06/2026 00:00 - United States - Amarillo

Today, I found out some very disturbing information about one of my brothers, who I have not seen in 8 years. The information is so crazy that I've thought about going to the FBI. FML

I agree, your life sucks 323

You deserved it 106

Teenage kicks

By Anonymous - 24/04/2022 02:00 - Australia - Albany Creek

Today, I found out that ALL of my friends were in the same class and I was in a different one. They went away on camp, and I'm going to be alone for this whole week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 779

You deserved it 142

Been there, done that

By Anonymous - 13/11/2024 03:00 - United States - Houston

Today, I confidently told a joke at a party, only to completely butcher the punchline. Everyone still laughed… at me instead of the joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 175

You deserved it 343

Real?

By Anonymous - 20/06/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, to my horror, I discovered I will owe child support for the kids my ex and I adopted together since she couldn't have any. I've met someone else and I'm planning on having real kids with her, but these payments will destroy everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 1 399

By Anonymous - 27/08/2011 23:07 - Canada

Today, I took a dump without checking for toilet paper. I then called my step dad, who said "use the stuff in the garbage." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 525

You deserved it 5 650

By Anonymous - 05/11/2010 10:05 - United Kingdom

Today, I was accused of shop-lifting by an old lady in a supermarket. Having proven myself innocent, I tried to storm off to show my displeasure at the situation. In my haste to make a dramatic exit, I tried to go out of the entrance and walked straight into the automatic door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 934

You deserved it 13 452

LET ME IN!

By Sam - 15/11/2024 20:00 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, my cat somehow managed to lock me out of my apartment by jumping on the doorknob while I was taking the trash out. I had to call a locksmith, and now it's like my cat won't even come near at me, like I betrayed him for allowing a stranger into our home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 145

Beyond help

By Anonymous - 01/05/2022 22:00 - Slovenia - Ljubljana

Today, after I found a mental help app that I actually liked, it referred me to a doctor after only two days of using it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 792

You deserved it 195

Welcome to the machine

By Anonymous - 08/03/2022 02:01

Today, after not being on the schedule for a week, I checked to see what my next shift was, only to find my employee profile edited to 'disabled' and still no hours or word from any managers. This after weeks of showing up at the drop of a hat when needed for any position. FML

I agree, your life sucks 783

You deserved it 98

Cliché

By MoaRcofuzed - 23/06/2023 12:00

Today, after 5 years of dating and not even so much as a hint of a ring on the horizon, I asked my boyfriend why he hasn’t proposed yet. His response was “Babe, I’m not gonna pay for the cow when I get the milk for free.” What does that even mean? FML

I agree, your life sucks 847

You deserved it 504

Stiff upper lip

By Anonymous - 21/11/2024 22:00 - Canada - Belleville

Today, my father started nagging me about my husband's mental health. He doesn't understand why my husband can't just walk it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 502

You deserved it 102

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, I lost two terabytes' worth of photos to a friend's incompetence. He said he could save me some money and fix my slow computer for free. He ended up wiping the hard drive, and along with it, my photography portfolio from the last five years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 321

You deserved it 16 482

Today, I was in a huge traffic jam with my boyfriend due to heavy snowfall. After being in the car for 4 hours, we were stuck in a tunnel with hundreds of cars behind and in front of us. Then the diarrhea hit. I had to shit in a plastic bag in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 571

You deserved it 391

Today, my Facebook account is deactivated and I don't think they are going to give me my account balance of $855 on Marketplace. So, I'm out my items, shipping costs and the profit I would have made. Facebook Marketplace is a scam. I'm so depressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 983

You deserved it 234

Today, my girlfriend left me, saying she'd started to appreciate herself more with the help of a therapist. That I paid for her to visit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 899

You deserved it 232

Today, for the third night in a row, I got cockblocked by my 10 month-old not sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 270

You deserved it 499

Today, it's the sixth day of no power after hurricane Milton. No air conditioning and freezing cold showers hit so much harder at 36 weeks pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 593

You deserved it 100