The Top

They told me it was just Testicular Inflammation, I have to take some medicine to see if it gets better. The worst part was when she stuck the q-tip down the tip of my dick, its not a pleasant feeling.

Merry Christmas

By Anonymous - 19/12/2023 15:00 - United Kingdom - Doncaster

Today, my family cancelled coming for Christmas again for the third time in four years. I only get to see my son for a few hours in the morning, then I'll be on my own the whole time. Again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 599

You deserved it 159

By bettercallpeta - 15/02/2013 05:42 - United States

Today, I saw my neighbor's delinquent kid shooting squirrels with a BB gun. Shocked and furious at his cruel behavior, I told him to stop, with the threat of telling his parents. He responded by shooting me in the nuts and running away in a fit of laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 120

You deserved it 11 159

Nothing for money

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boss told me I was fired 3 weeks ago because there's no money to pay me, meaning that I worked the last three weeks for free. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 886

You deserved it 3 117

By Username - 09/05/2011 07:38

Today, I learned that chivalry truly is dead when a seemingly fit man pushed me into a door to get a seat on the train before me. My leg is in a cast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 879

You deserved it 3 405

Looking for a job?

By Anonymous - 21/06/2021 16:01 - India - Bangalore

Today, the guy we'd offered to hire, who had a 2-month notice period, emailed to say he couldn't come after all, because his employer offered to retain him. In this two-month timeframe, we didn't interview anybody else and now we're in deep shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 820

You deserved it 521

Overly attached girlfriend flashback

By girlonthe19thfloor - 03/09/2022 23:30

Today, my boyfriend got hired as a customer service agent at an airline. I'm full of anxiety ever since, because he has a cheating past. I then find out he has to fly out to Texas for two weeks training, and to top it off its all girls in his team. I don't want him to wanna go join them for city exploring, or food and drinks. He’s mad at me for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 557

You deserved it 2 252

Seduction technique

By BlueBirdWings - 06/03/2012 07:20 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. He held a Kool Fruit in his teeth, and motioned for me to kiss him, so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do this, I inhaled. He then had to watch me dry retching, trying to get it back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 810

You deserved it 6 817

Sleep well?

By Karen - 29/08/2022 16:00

Today, there was a wasp tangled in my bed sheets. I found this out when I rolled over it in my sleep, and it stung me on the lower back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 950

You deserved it 76

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Wake up Messy DIY Embarrassing Awkward Love Cute Cheating Pregnancy Kids Family Money Birthday Cats Animals Kittens Dogs Parenting Crush Work Painful Sports Vacation Parents Babysitter AITA Friends Holidays Annoying

The Top

Today, my husband and his best mate got drunk and decided it would be a good idea to try hitchhike naked for a joke. Although no one was willing to pick up two naked 28 year old-men off the side of the main road, someone did call the cops. They are being held overnight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 198

You deserved it 1 859

Today, after months of incredibly painful stomach cramps, I convinced my mom that I needed to see a doctor. Not even 2 minutes into the exam, the doctor tells me that I'm heavily constipated and advised some "prune juice" to help "clear all that shit out". My mom won't stop laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 722

You deserved it 5 798

Today, when I was walking in to the grocery store, a van pulls up and a bunch of guys get out who look really drunk. I jokingly said to the sober-looking man who had driven the van "Sucks you have to be the designated driver!" Turns out the "Drunk" guys were actually mentally challenged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 799

You deserved it 68 210

Today, my family and I ran into an older man my parents knew. He continually asked me questions like do you play football, have you started shaving yet, etc. I thought he was joking. He told my parents I had grown into quite a young man. I am a girl and he wasn't joking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 547

You deserved it 4 900

Today, in my early morning haze, I tried to find the setting on my phone that would stop my cat meowing for his breakfast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 267

You deserved it 1 385

Today, I noticed my 35 year-old boyfriend is starting to take an interest in my 19 year-old sister. They increasingly spend time together and he talks about her all the time like a little boy in love. When I discussed boundaries, he had a fit about how he can have friends and abruptly ended our 4 year relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 621

You deserved it 129